


Twilight

by nyamgi



Category: ATEEZ (Band)
Genre: Abuse, Alcohol, Alcohol Abuse/Alcoholism, Alternate Universe - College/University, Angst, Angst and Fluff and Smut, Bad Boys, Bottom Jeong Yunho, Bottom Jung Wooyoung, Bottom Kang Yeosang, Boys In Love, Boys Kissing, Boys' Love, Childhood Friends, Cigarettes, Classism, Coercion, College, Dark, Dark Academia, Dark Past, Declarations Of Love, Drama & Romance, Emotional Sex, Emotional/Psychological Abuse, Eventual Smut, Everyone Is Gay, F/F, F/M, Falling In Love, First Love, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Fluff and Smut, Football | Soccer, Forbidden Love, Friendship, Friendship/Love, Gay, Gay Character, Gay Male Character, Gay Panic, Gay Sex, Heavy Angst, Homophobia, Implied/Referenced Suicide, Incest, Internalized Homophobia, Love, Love Confessions, Love/Hate, M/M, Mild Smut, Mysterious, Mystery, Physical Abuse, Prostitution, Rare Pairings, Religion, Religious Guilt, Romance, Secret Relationship, Secrets, Shameless Smut, Smut, Teacher-Student Relationship, Thriller, Top Choi Jongho, Top Kim Hongjoong, Top Park Seonghwa, Toxic Relationships, True Love, Unrequited Love, age gap, cult vibes, dark themes, that's too many tags on god
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-11-23
Updated: 2021-03-06
Packaged: 2021-03-10 05:01:20
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 25
Words: 61,894
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27677759
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/nyamgi/pseuds/nyamgi
Summary: Twilight is an elite club at the most prestigious school in South Korea. Students that graduate as alumni of the club all wind up getting incredibly high-ranking jobs and acquire extensive connections to everyone and everything. The thing about Twilight, however, is that no one outside of the club really knows anything about it -- rumors of the said club have only been that.Rumors.Speculation.What happens when eight lives intertwine at the hands of Twilight? Get ready for a wild ride through the complex stories each of these men have because we're diving in deep.
Relationships: Choi Jongho/Jung Wooyoung, Choi San/Song Mingi, Jeong Yunho/Park Seonghwa, Kang Yeosang/Kim Hongjoong
Comments: 18
Kudos: 127





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

  * For [gundhamronpa](https://archiveofourown.org/users/gundhamronpa/gifts), [MythaRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/MythaRose/gifts), [EevieGrimm](https://archiveofourown.org/users/EevieGrimm/gifts).



This story is likely going to be much darker than my other stories, so I decided to make this pre-chapter listing the possible subjects and issues that will be included in this story. I'm sure everyone is aware, but I just wanted to say that this is, of course, fanfiction and I'm just borrowing these names of boys I love and admire <3 I really hope that you enjoy my new story if you stick around for it~!

**Content Warnings** :

_Coercion_

_Compensated dating_

_Graphic smut_

_Death and suicide mentions_

_Mental and physical abuse_

_Professor/Student relationship_

_Homophobia_

_Internalized homophobia_

_Toxic relationships_

_Drug and alcohol use_

_Minor incestual acts_

_Classism_

_Religious settings_

_Age-gap relations_

_Overall dark themes_

_MxM, MxF, FxF_

That... was more than I realized, but I really wanted everyone to know going in just in case you are sensitive to any of these topics. These topics will be present throughout the entirety of this story, and if you are, in any way, uncomfortable reading about them, then I suggest skipping out on this one. I will not be putting specified warnings at the beginning of chapters.

**Summary** :

Twilight is an elite club at the most prestigious school in South Korea. Students that graduate as alumni of the club all wind up getting incredibly high-ranking jobs and acquire extensive connections to everyone and everything. The thing about Twilight, however, is that no one outside of the club really knows anything about it -- rumors of the said club have only been that.

Rumors.

Speculation.

What happens when eight lives intertwine at the hands of Twilight? Get ready for a wild ride through the complex stories each of these men have because we're diving in deep.

I hope to see you soon <3


	2. Chapter One

_"What about Jeong Yunho?"_

_"He's a pastor's son, isn't that right?"_

_"Mhm, and yet he's best friends with Choi San, another potential. Quite the pairing, don't you say?"_

_"It was kind of disheartening to see them interact, honestly. It's so painfully obvious that Yunho has a crush, but that San kid doesn't seem interested at all if he even sees the attraction."_

_"He's more interested in his professor, eh?"_

_"You two always talk so formally between each other. You're not around your parents, you know."_

_"Hush up. So far, a pastor's son and a professor fucker. Haha, a beautiful start to this year's line-up, I must say."_

_"A professor fucker yet? As if he's seduced him enough at this point, but I can sense the tensions rising up. The air between them is getting thicker and thicker, it's only a matter of time before either of them actually act out."_

꘎ ♡ ━ ꘎ ━ ♡ ꘎

A loud roar of applause and cheer erupts throughout the crowds sitting in the stands.

SNU's soccer team just secured the first win of the season. More specifically, Park Seonghwa secured the win with a perfect solo goal, easily slipping past several opposing players to guarantee a victory for his team.

Seonghwa wipes the back of his palm across his forehead in an attempt to dry himself from the sweat coating it, "Nice one, guys," he encourages, "You all did amazing out there," he goes in for a few quick hugs, patting his teammates' backs with a rough tap on the shoulder blade as he makes his way to the locker room to change.

"You're coming to the after-party, right, Hwa?" One of Seonghwa's teammates calls out, his voice echoing in the small room of sweaty bodies.

Seonghwa smirks, putting a towel around his neck to match the one hugging his hips as he walks to his locker, "Where else would I go? Home?" He chuckles, shaking his hair out as his teammate shrugs at his question, "As if..."

The towel wrapped tightly around Seonghwa's wait falls onto the cool locker room floor, pooling around him as he slips on a nicely fitted pair of briefs before stepping into his black trousers.

"Seulgi is going, yeah?"

"Of course," Seonghwa hums, slinging his bag over his shoulders on his way out of the locker room, "I'll see you there, boys," he winks and chuckles heartily, making sure not to leave without a dash of the flirtatious charm he bestows upon everyone, even his teammates.

The music is already blaring, it immediately reminding Seonghwa of the crowds back on the field and he smiles widely, his perfectly straight teeth shining at each person he passes in the large house of one of his mates. Praise radiates from the students he passes, his back being littered with slaps of gratitude, and his arm tingling from the many fingertips that trail along it as he continues on his way towards the back of the house.

"I was looking for you everywhere," The sweet voice that he's gotten used to over the years pierced Seonghwa's eardrums just as her arms wrapped around his neck, "Did you miss me?" She lifts herself onto her tiptoes and their lips connect into a deep kiss, feeling the familiar sensation of eyes on the two of them.

"How could I not?" He chuckles, pressing his forehead to hers and tickling her nose with the tip of his as their lips part, "I had to freshen up after the game, you know. I can't smell like a dirty dog when coming to see you, now can I, Seulgi?"

Seulgi spreads her lips into a thin line, but her smile doesn't fade, "Mm, you cannot," she eases back onto her soles, letting her palms relax their way down Seonghwa's chest.

The music only gets louder as the rest of the soccer team makes their appearance, and eyes are torn away from Seonghwa and Seulgi.

Seonghwa leans down so his lips are right beside Seulgi's ear, close enough for the two to graze, "Joy is in the parlor room," he pulls back and winks before turning his back to her and instead, leaning it against the counter.

Seulgi nods with a smile, a look of satisfaction in her gaze as she also turns her back to him, making quick motion towards the parlor room.

Seonghwa pours himself a drink and takes a sip, letting out a refreshed sound of, "Ahh..." After he swallows. He watches as Seulgi scampers off towards Joy and he shakes his head, his mind drifting back to tonight's game. Soccer has been his passion for as long as he could remember, but he knows he has to focus more on his degree.

A future CEO in the making.

He scoffs to himself before taking another sip of his drink, not wanting to have to think of his dreadful business degree decision on a night as sweet as this one. Seonghwa whispers a silent curse to his parents before he downs the rest of his drink, vowing that he will let himself enjoy the night and not worry about his parents or his future for the rest of the evening.

꘎ ♡ ━ ꘎ ━ ♡ ꘎

"Come _on_ , Yunho!" San groans, pulling on Yunho's upper arm as hard as he can, but Yunho's tall stature makes it hard for San to even make him budge.

Yunho furrows his brow, making it look as if they're knitted together as he looks down at his best friend, "San, you know tomorrow is Sunday. I can't stay out late," He sighs, "I would think you'd be aware of that after all these years..."

San rolls his eyes and drapes his body over Yunho's bed, "I _am_ aware, dammit, but can't you come out for just a little bit? Not even the tiniest amount of time?" He pouts, creating the biggest fake frown he could possibly make as he looks up at Yunho.

"No, San."

"Yunho."

"San."

San sits up abruptly and crosses his arm like a child that was just denied his favorite lolly in a candy store, "You're going, Yunho. I'm not letting you miss out on things like I did our first year. We're second-years now, and your big ass is going to a damn party, okay?"

Yunho just shakes his head in silence and goes to his closet to get his Sunday best set out for the next morning.

"Don't do that," San wraps up a blanket that was lying on Yunho's bed and throws it at him, "Don't give me the silent treatment now. You know how fun it is when I finally drag you out of this godforsaken house."

Yunho turns his head back to San with narrowing eyes, "But do _you_ know how fun it is when I open the front door past nine o'clock to my parent's irate faces, demanding to know why I wasn't home right on the dot? And... stop cursing so heavily here, my parents could hear you..." He ends softly, going right back into his shell as he always does.

"I beg for forgiveness, Pastor Kangmin, for I have sinned in front of your maidenly son," San fake pleas, getting down on his knees at Yunho's bedside for the full effect.

"San," Yunho starts, but San cuts him off.

"What must I sacrifice for your definite absolution? I have..." San pauses to dig through his pockets, fishing out his pack of cigarettes and he tosses it onto the bed, "a pack of the greatest cigarettes to ever grace the Earth, albeit it only has about three sticks left, but surely this is enough."

Yunho covers his mouth as he watches the scene take place before him, trying to suppress a laugh as to not show San how amusing he truly is.

San turns his head towards Yunho, it laid against the blankets as he's still kneeling down, and sees him already staring.

Yunho's eyes quickly look elsewhere, afraid he might not be able to hide the blush that was threatening to come to his cheeks as he saw his messy-haired best friend on his knees with his head pressed to his comforter, staring up at him. It was too much for his heart to bear, but he'd never say that, nor allow it.

"Have I convinced you, yet?" San asks, his voice slightly muffled, giving it a more sultry sound than it should've.

"San-" Yunho starts.

"I love it when you say my name," San teases, crawling up onto Yunho's bed, his voice getting louder, "Say it again," He smirks.

Yunho's eyes widen and he shakes his head, knowing what San is about to do, so he quickly runs over to him and jumps on him to cover his mouth, "Don't you dare start this tonight," He says in a whispered anger.

The start of San's fake moans are silenced by Yunho's hand, and when the low humming stops, Yunho removes his hand.

"I was just trying to have some fun," San pouts, "Does Pastor Kangmin not like suggestive sounds coming from his son's room?"

Yunho pushes San's shoulder, "You know he would kill me... I still don't know how I managed to explain it away last time. Don't do that anymore, okay...?" Yunho asks, knowing that he doesn't want San to make those lewd noises come from his mouth not only because of his parents but for his own sanity.

Hearing those sounds pass San's lips makes Yunho feels things that he's been trying so hard and so long to make go away. Those feelings must stay repressed deep down within him. Yunho crosses his arms and looks at the floor as he usually does when feeling uncomfortable.

Not uncomfortable with San, but with himself.

San relaxes back when he sees Yunho crossing his arms, "I won't," He says, and he sounds serious.

"I'll go," Yunho says finally, looking back up at San, "But you have to have me home before nine."

San smirks and gets up off of the bed, taking Yunho's hand in his own to drag him down the stairs, "I knew you'd cave," he teases, quickly getting into the driver's side of his vehicle, "Buckle up, Yun, because we're already late."

"Wait, I have to tell my parents I'm going out," Yunho starts, but San leans over his body and shuts the passenger door.

"Text them," San says as he starts his engine and speeds off down Yunho's street, surely skidding his tire tracks onto the road behind him.

Yunho walks into the large house with his arms crossed and head down, trying to avoid eye contact with the other partygoers. He follows San further into the house, Yunho being impressed by the time it takes to get to the other side. It must be huge, he thinks to himself as he admires the flooring and the shoes everyone decided to wear tonight.

San was wearing his normal black worn-out chucks and it made Yunho smile to himself. When his feet hit tiled flooring, he realizes they've entered the kitchen and he hears a noise, causing himself to look up.

As much as Yunho tries to avoid eye contact in the kitchen he's found himself in, he does accidentally catch the sight of a black-haired man whose hair looks damp. The man shoots him a wink and Yunho immediately freezes up and looks away with a strong blush invading his cheeks. He tucks a piece of his loose brown hair behind his ear, about to take his chances with looking back up at the handsome man before his arm is grabbed.

San is soon dragging Yunho away from the kitchen, and away from the mysteriously handsome stranger that winked at him.

"Can you believe my lame-ass brother didn't want to come tonight?" San groans, his liquor sloshing from side to side in his red solo cup as they push through the crowds of people.

"Jongho? Why didn't he want to come?" Yunho asks absentmindedly, his thoughts still wondering about that guy in the kitchen, his mind overthinking everything as per usual.

"The kid said he had to help at some soup kitchen in the morning," San scoffs and leans against the railing of stairs leading upstairs, leaving Yunho to stand awkwardly in front of him, "I wanted to accompany the two of you to your first ever college party, but here we are," San smirks, "You're not so bad, I guess," he teases, trying to relax Yunho after seeing how tense he seems.

Yunho cocks a brow, "Not so bad?"

San grabs onto his shoulder, more to stabilize himself than anything, but with Yunho's mind racing as it has been, it could mean countless things, "You're my bestest friend in the whole world, you know that," he gives Yunho a gentle shake before he downs the rest of his drink.

San always was one to take his liquor like a champ, Yunho thinks to himself, watching as San sneakily snags someone else's drink from one of the side tables to drink that too.

"I better be," Yunho replies, shifting his weight from either foot as he brings himself to scan the room of people. San's hand still lingering on his shoulder allows him to relax just that little bit more.

"You don't want a drink do you?"

Yunho shoots San a look, which San fully expected, but he wanted to at least try.

Yunho doesn't know how time passed by so quickly at the party since it's not like he was having the most fun of his life, but soon enough, Yunho was begging for San to take him back home.

It was _8:40 PM_ already, and the drive itself was about twenty, so they'd barely make it if they left right this very second.

"We have to go, San," Yunho insists, tugging on San's arm to make him set down his cup.

San turns to look up at Yunho, a face of happiness shining up at him, "I know, I know. Church and shit," he chuckles, clearly buzzed, but not drunk.

Yunho remembers the first time San got drunk.

He never got fully drunk again.

"Let's go, Mr. Youth group leader," San teases hard, walking towards the door, "Mr. Choir boy," he teases more, all the way to the car where he gets into the driver's seat once again.

Yunho shakes his head, having grown used to San's childish mockery over the many years of their friendship.

"Like you never went to church," Yunho mumbles as he buckles himself in, checking to see that San buckled himself as well.

He could never be too sure.

"I only went because of you, Yun, and you remember how that went," San sighs out, driving fast down the road with the windows down, insisting that the wind smacking him in the face helps him sober up, "Can you get me a cig out?"

Yunho hums, pulling out San's pack of L&M Menthol 100s, his favorite kind, and takes out one of the last three sticks, handing it to him. He puts it in his mouth and lights it with one hand, keeping his other on the wheel. The cooling and smoky scent fills the air around them instantly.

"My parents never liked you since," Yunho chuckles, leaning his head against his closed window, never really liking having the wind attack his face as San did. He wanted to say more, but thinking of that day made him think of one of the first times he could vividly remember how strongly he felt for San.

That morning after bible class, San and Yunho were made to stay after and clean up the study room.

It was also the morning that Yunho had his first kiss.

Yunho remembers the savory way San's lips tasted back then, the kind of taste that was unquantifiable. It wasn't sweet. It wasn't bitter. It was just San. Savory was always the perfect way to describe it in Yunho's eyes, something that was incredibly delicious, but hard to put into exact words.

He longed for another kiss like that one, but it never came.

Yunho hasn't kissed anyone since then, come to think of it.

"Yun?" San asks, and Yunho realizes that San was probably talking to him during that whole time he was lost in his thoughts, lost in the savory memories he would never forget.

"Huh?" Yunho looks up and realizes that they're no longer moving.

They're in front of Yunho's house.

"It's _8:57_ ," San checks the time on his dash and looks over at his best friend, "Don't want to have the lovely parents any madder at me than they already are, hm?" He jokes.

Yunho's eyes widen and he nods vigorously, going to unbuckle himself, but he realizes San already did it for him. He goes to open the door and jumps out, "I'll see you Monday, Sannie!" He rushes his words out and San laughs loudly.

"See you," San flicks his cigarette butt out into the driveway as he backs out, wanting Yunho's parents to know he's been here.

San looks out at the dark road as he drives, always liking to drive at night because the way the lights of the highway lit up the otherwise sleeping town. He hums a song playing on the radio to himself as he lights up another cigarette, "I gotta get more of these bitches," He mumbles to himself as he makes his way back to the party.

**End of Chapter One**


	3. Chapter Two

_"We've got to snag Kang Yeosang this year without a doubt."_

_"The kid is friends with Jeong Yunho, too, right?"_

_"He also has a lot to live up to since his brother died when he was younger, so he'd more than certainly go through with joining. One of our alumni disclosed that his late brother was once a member of Twilight as well, so even better. You know how we like to keep it in the family."_

_"He seems to have a lot of secrets, but don't we all... They'll be easy to figure out, especially after some more digging. I have my suspicions that he's having quite the sexuality crisis."_

_"So Kang Yeosang is a front-runner."_

_"Of course."_

꘎ ♡ ━ ꘎ ━ ♡ ꘎ _  
_

"Nng," Hongjoong groans lowly, trying to keep his eyes focused on the road while Yeosang is hanging over the center console, fumbling with his pants zipper, "Yeo, I'm driving," He says as if that will stop his boyfriend's irrepressible pursuit.

Hongjoong glances down at Yeosang, seeing his already blissed-out eyes looking right back up at him, his mouth hanging slightly open as he's now palming the outline of Hongjoong's cock through his plaid boxers. Hongjoong quickly looks back up, attempting to keep his steering straight when he feels Yeosang pulling him out into the air of the car, "Yeo," he tries to sound stern, but it comes out as more of a grunt than anything.

"Mmm," Yeosang hums as he wraps his lips around the head of Hongjoong's cock, slobbering it up before he takes his length in full.

"F-Fuck," Hongjoong stutters out as he finally pulls into his driveway with a halting stop, his hand instantly going down to Yeosang's head so he doesn't slam against the steering wheel, but it pushes him further down.

Yeosang doesn't stop, however, Hongjoong's hand presses him down so he's flush against the base. A choked sound leaves Yeosang's mouth, but that only encourages him as he begins to suck harshly, swirling his tongue on the thick vein leading up to his tip.

"Yeo, let's go up to my room, okay?" Hongjoong whispers, trying his best to keep his voice from stuttering again as he gently rubs Yeosang's shoulder.

Yeosang pulls off of Hongjoong's length slowly, making sure to look up into his eye with his hooded eyes as he does so, "Okay," he says softly, even his singular word sounding slurred from the copious amounts of alcohol he consumed at the soccer team's after-party they just left.

Hongjoong smiles down at his boyfriend, getting out of the car to go over to the passenger side to help Yeosang get out, knowing how completely smashed he is.

How he _always_ is after parties.

How he always is before he'll touch Hongjoong.

"Careful, now, I don't want to have to make a trip to the hospital tonight," Hongjoong jokes as Yeosang wraps both of his arms around Hongjoong's neck, begging him to carry him the rest of the way, to which he obliges easily.

"Joong~" Yeosang mumbles into Hongjoong's neck, biting the skin all over, and absolutely devouring his earlobes before he's laid back onto the plush of blankets scattering Hongjoong's bed.

"Shh, let me admire you for a bit," Hongjoong smiles, albeit a bit sadly, down at Yeosang. His eyes scan over the way Yeosang's light brown hair splays out across the bed, and then down to his face where the makeup covering his beautiful birthmark has begun to rub off. His eyes trail down his similar short body to his, but much thinner, adoring the way his loose shirt flapped up to reveal his lower stomach when he laid down. Hongjoong notices the way Yeosang starts to squirm needily beneath him, so Hongjoong leads his eyes back up to settle looking into Yeosang's clouded brown ones.

"I love you..." Hongjoong whispers into the darkness as he leans down to meet Yeosang's lips, knowing that his words of certainty will be met by a bittersweet silence in return.

Yeosang's drunken mind processes the words, but the intensity of his lust and the alcohol coursing through his veins overpowers the protective barrier over his once-sober heart.

Yeosang's hands travel along Hongjoong's chest and back, ridding him of the unnecessary articles of clothing still on his body. His hands are sloppy in motion, but eager in intention, having Hongjoong bare in, what seems like, seconds.

Hongjoong undresses Yeosang just as quickly as Yeosang undresses him, and soon enough, they're skin-to-skin and rubbing against each other is an unrelenting wantingness that plagues both of their minds. Hongjoong's fingers slide into Yeosang, stretching him out with ease, as this is far from their first rodeo.

Yeosang pants and writhes underneath Hongjoong, squirming on the bed and grabbing onto the covers tightly as he clenches his teeth to conceal his whiny moans. Hongjoong knows Yeosang's body like the back of his hand and can make him come undone with just one touch, and it shows.

Hongjoong smiles at Yeosang's sounds and movements of pleasure, only to be left with a breathless mess when Hongjoong pulls his fingers out of him.

"F-Fuck me," Yeosang stutters out, his words airy, and his eyes are already glazed-over as if he's already cum. His eyes watch Hongjoong's fit naked body crawl further onto him, and his breath hitches, making quick motion to turn around so that he's facing the mattress.

He never liked having to face the intimacy that came with fucking face-to-face, even when he was plastered.

"M-Make sure to turn off the lights," Yeosang whispers out as he eases his face into the softness of the blankets, keeping his ass perked up for Hongjoong.

He hears a subtle sigh come from behind him, but he tries not to let it get to him when the room turns to complete darkness after Hongjoong flips the bedside lamp off. The only light being that of the moonlight shining through the window, but even then, it's dim enough for Yeosang.

Yeosang relaxes back into the blurry lines that are his mind when he feels the mattress sink down behind him, knowing that Hongjoong is back on the bed with him. It's confirmed when he feels familiar warm hands touching his hips with a tenderness he can't discern through his daze.

Hongjoong slowly pushes his length into Yeosang, feeling the way he clenches around him makes him groan lowly as he continues until he's fully within him.

"Keep going," Yeosang's muffled voice calls out, pressing himself back into Hongjoong with need, "I need you," he whines.

Hongjoong's heart swells at Yeosang's voice, and he's more than willing, beginning to thrust into him slowly at first, but very quickly upping his pace until he's roughly jerking his hips into Yeosang.

Yeosang has devolved into a moaning and whining mess beneath him, the sheets and blankets crumpled under his grip as his face is shoved into the mattress with each powerful thrust. His own cock rocks against his stomach, begging for release or to be touched, and it's soon gripped by Hongjoong's hand. He starts to pump Yeosang's length in sync with his thrusts.

"J-Joong~" Yeosang cries out, "I-I'm gonna, I'm--" He can barely voice out before he cums all over himself and the blankets below him, his voice choking out all the moans he can muster with being so out-of-breath.

Hongjoong's ears are filled with bliss when he knows that his love finally released, and it only makes him quicken his pace more, thrusting wildly until he reaches his own release deep inside of Yeosang. Hongjoong pants heavily as he slowly slides himself out of Yeosang, Yeosang's body collapsing onto the bed when it's no longer being held up by Hongjoong.

Hongjoong throws the damp blanket that was under Yeosang to the floor and crawls up to him, "Yeo," He whispers, his heart beating so loud that he's sure Yeosang can hear it, "Let's get under the covers."

Yeosang's body is beyond tired and he's too weak to move, but Hongjoong knows him well, helping him get under the silky covers before he also slides under them. Yeosang relaxes back into Hongjoong's chest, and Hongjoong wraps his arms around the one he loves, knowing that his calmness and blissfulness of the now will only be met with dismissal in the morning.

As it always is.

Hongjoong presses his mouth to the top of Yeosang's head, inhaling his sweet scent that he's become addicted to. He wants to take in this moment of love and happiness that they're in right now as he's holding Yeosang in his embrace.

Hours could've passed, but Hongjoong's restless mind is still wide awake when he hears the soft whimpering coming from the small body in his arms.

"Wh-Why did he have to go...?" Yeosang weeps, his body shaking slightly as he curls into himself, still leaned into Hongjoong.

Hongjoong's heart aches at Yeosang's tear-filled voice, knowing that his thoughts are filled with Eunsang like they often are after drunken nights.

And Hongjoong is there to calm him down and hush his cries with the gentle touch of his hands, "Yeo..." He whispers, planting a soft kiss to his temple, "It's okay, Yeo..."

Yeosang sniffles and the tears that left his eyes are wiped away by Hongjoong's thumb, "I-I miss him..."

"He misses you too, Yeo... I promise you that he does. Eunsang wouldn't want you to dwell so heavily on it after so many years... He would want you to move on," Hongjoong says, still caressing Yeosang's face and showing him affection.

Yeosang knows Hongjoong is right, but that doesn't stop the pain that plagues his mind or the guilt that floods through him as he's lying with Hongjoong.

His life is a mess.

"I'm sorry," Yeosang murmurs after he pushes his pain back down and his mind starts to clear itself, the sleepiness returning just as a headache is threatening to come.

"Don't apologize," Hongjoong rests his forehead against the back of Yeosang's head and sighs, "It's okay to be sad, Yeosang..."

"I'm sorry..." Yeosang whispers, but not audible for Hongjoong to hear, as this apology is meant for him. To tell the world that he knows he's undeserving of Hongjoong and his love that he secretly returns, but is too cowardly to say it.

Or show it.

Yeosang pulls away slightly from Hongjoong, needing that distance between their bodies when he wakes up the next morning.

Next morning...

When everything will be normal. He will be a normal college student on his way to the local elementary school where he co-teaches in the mornings. Not dwelling on his older brother's death from ten years ago, and most certainly not in love with the boy he's lying in bed with.

That boy is _just his friend_ during his sober hours.

In the morning, Yeosang will return to being the perfect child that Eunsang was when he was alive.

The perfect child that his parents expected him to be.

**End of Chapter Two**


	4. Chapter Three

_"A personal pick of mine would be that new soccer player. He's damn good, isn't that right, Seonghwa?"_

_"He's decent, I haven't spoken to him much."_

_"We'll have to change that."_

_"I was also looking at him, so you're going to have to get along, Seonghwa."_

_"I get along with everyone, there's no need to worry about that one."_

_"Even if they're threatening your position on the soccer team? I don't know if I'd be so friendly if I were in your spot, in all honesty."_

_"Soccer isn't a big deal."_

_"Alright then, Song Mingi it is."_

꘎ ♡ ━ ꘎ ━ ♡ ꘎ _  
_

Yunho takes his seat along with his mother in the church pew, the second one from the front to be exact. His father always called it to be the best seat in the whole church, perfect for hearing and seeing, and right behind the choir. Yunho should be sitting a pew higher, but no one protested when his mother wanted him to stay and sit with her instead after he first joined the church choir.

"Are the Kang's going to just barely make it once again?" Yunho's mother asks, a tone of bitterness to her voice that Yunho doesn't appreciate.

"They're never late," Yunho says softly.

"They might as well be," She responds, and the church doors open to reveal a restless-looking Kang Yeosang behind his parents.

"Hey, Yun," Yeosang mumbles as he sits down next to him on the pew, his parents sitting next to Yunho's mother and making conversation happily as if his mother wasn't just speaking ill of them.

"You look rough, Yeosang," Yunho says honestly, "Are you feeling okay?" He knows that his friend must be heavily hungover from the night before, but he's always impressed how well Yeosang manages to hide it. He's become so skillful at applying makeup to hide his decisions from the night before that it's scary.

He could probably cover up any blemish if he's that good at covering emotions.

"Good morning everyone," Pastor Kangmin begins, a smile settling on his face when his eyes rest on his wife and son, "Today I'm going to start by asking you all a few questions to think about."

Yunho gives his father a subtle smile before turning his attention back to Yeosang, whose eyes look broken. The more Yunho thinks about it, the more he realizes that he's seen Yeosang drunk or hungover more than he's ever seen him sober and clear-minded.

It breaks his heart.

"Has someone let you down before?" Pastor Kangmin asks out into the crowd, "Perhaps you were depending on that someone, and perhaps that person failed. What would you do in that situation? Would you give them another chance? Would you forgive them?"

Yunho sits silently as his father's sermon echoes through the church, his eyes trying to focus on his father to show him he's paying attention.

"What if it turned out that _you_ were the one that failed instead?" Pastor Kangmin continues, "What if that someone needed something in return and you weren't there for them either? Do you think they would give you another chance? Do you think they would forgive you?"

Yeosang's eyes are glued to Pastor Kangmin for once, his mind filling with the questions that he's asking and he can't help but think of his late brother.

_Did he fail Eunsang...?_

_Would Eunsang forgive him?_

_Would_ he _forgive Eunsang?_

"If you all would please turn to _Colossians 3:13-14_ , I'd like to read an excerpt," Pastor Kangmin pauses to give everyone time to flip open their Bibles to the correct section and wait for him to start reading again, "Here it states,

_'_ _Bear with each other and forgive one another if any of you has a grievance against someone. Forgive as the Lord forgave you. And over all these virtues put on love, which binds them all together in perfect unity.'_

Instead of holding a grudge against someone for their actions, it's best to forgive them. Forgiveness will set you free, and once you learn to forgive someone else, the more you will be able to forgive yourself. People may make mistakes, we are not perfect beings, but as people, we must learn to forgive these mistakes. If we do not learn to forgive, we will not be able to move forward."

The pews are silent as Pastor Kangmin finishes his sermon until rising applause erupts and when that dies down, the choir is called up.

Yunho begins to stand, and looks to tell Yeosang he'll be right back, but is met with tear-filled eyes, "Yeosang...?"

Yeosang gets up as well, but more abruptly, and he rushes to the door in the back of the church where the bathrooms are and where food will be after church ends.

Yunho wants to go after him, but his mother pats his back, "Go on, honey, I want to hear your beautiful voice," she shines a smile at him, and Yunho nods as he walks up to the front with the rest of the church choir. He glances towards the back door, and almost misses the start of the song, but a nudge in his side brings him back to focus on the music sheets.

꘎ ♡ ━ ꘎ ━ ♡ ꘎

Mingi rests his head back against the window of the bus that's taking him to his early morning soccer practice. He's been thinking of last night's game ever since it ended, happy that he finally got to be on the field again after his gap year away from soccer. He knew he made a mistake in his first year at SNU by not trying out for the soccer team, and last night only proved that further.

While he's not in the position he's normally been in, he's just thankful to be on the team. Even if that means playing as a forward instead of the center midfielder.

Park Seonghwa held that position.

A damn did he hold it well, Mingi thought.

Although Mingi didn't play on the SNU soccer team his first year, that doesn't mean he didn't go to the games -- _all of the games._ He knows how good of a player Seonghwa is, and he knows that the national team is surely going to scout him as soon as he hits his fourth year if they haven't already.

It would be his dream to also get scouted onto the national team since then he would have some sort of direction in his life.

He's all-around unsure of what he wants, honestly.

Mingi often feels lost, but soccer has always been a constant in his life. Even when he wasn't playing on a team last year, he was always practicing and learning more things by watching others.

Mingi's body jerks when the bus comes to a halt, everyone rushing off that needs to get off on this stop, and as soon as Mingi steps off, the doors close and the bus takes off once again.

"Hey, good game last night," Seonghwa's voice calls across the field as he runs up to Mingi, "I don't think I got to tell you that last night, did I? You played well," Seonghwa compliments and Mingi's face lights up.

"Thank you so much! You were incredible as our center midfielder, Seonghwa," Mingi returns his gratitude.

Seonghwa smirks and starts walking with Mingi to the locker room, "I appreciate it, but I'd like to see you play my position today in our practice. I want to see your potential," he opens his locker and looks back at Mingi with his signature wink, "What do you think?"

Mingi's eyes widen, "You want me to play as the-"

"Center midfielder, that's right. I heard that was your position back in high school, so I want to see how you do now in college. You took your first year off from soccer," Seonghwa states matter-of-factly, not asking, but stating.

Seonghwa knew almost everything about Mingi's past since they started considering him for Twilight, and Seonghwa made sure to study up on him since out of all of the new recruits, he was the one he was closest to. Mingi wasn't even going to be one of his recruits, Seulgi wanted him, but he always made sure to study up on the ones he knew he'd be interacting with more.

"I'm not sure why you'd offer me this, but, damn, thank you so much!" Mingi says, his wide goofy smile never leaving his face as he changes into his uniform.

"It's one practice," Seonghwa snickers, "Don't get too thankful," he finishes lacing up his shoes and starts walking out of the locker room, "Don't let me down out there, hm?"

Mingi nods curtly, not that Seonghwa could see it unless he had eyes in the back of his head, but maybe he did. With the way he plays soccer, anyone would think he has some sort of advantage over all of the other players, even his own teammates.

Mingi smiles to himself as he steps out of the locker room and onto the field.

_This is his time to shine._

**End of Chapter Three**


	5. Chapter Four

_"I know we commonly don't include siblings, only picking the one of greatest potential, but Choi Jongho was also on my radar."_

_"Choi Jongho?"_

_"Choi San's younger brother, a first-year."_

_"I have a devious plan for the two of them now that you're bringing up recruiting both. I'm in."_

_"Should I be concerned?"_

_"Maybe."_

_"I still have one more pick, so be quiet."_

_"Get on with it."_

_"Jung Wooyoung. I've already done the research and my, my, my... We have a keeper right here. I'm not sure we've ever had someone with as much potential as this one."_

_"And why is that?"_

꘎ ♡ ━ ꘎ ━ ♡ ꘎ _  
_

Wooyoung gets to the soup kitchen he's volunteering at for the day a bit earlier than he was supposed to, but the supervisors over it were glad to have the extra help setting everything up.

Wooyoung tended to either be very early, or just barely make it on time. It all depended on his situation, whether or not he was at home, and if he was at home, whether or not he chanced going through the front door or had to climb out of his window.

Wooyoung was smiling, full of cheerfulness as he poured the various soups into the large pots where they would be serving to the homeless or less-fortunate that would come today. If he could bring happiness to another just by plastering a simple smile on his face, then that was exactly what he was going to do. His smile might start off as faux, but after seeing the joy he brought others, it would become real.

Today, he was especially thankful to be here -- thankful to get out of the house just that little bit more this weekend before the next school week starts.

He tried to keep a clear mind, but thoughts of his father coming home drunk once again last night was difficult to push down. He remembered the _click_ of the lock on his bedroom door as he shut himself in, but not leaving the door without sliding his dresser in front of it.

He could never be too careful.

It's always better to be safe than sorry, Wooyoung would repeat to himself.

This morning was one of the times he snuck out of his window, not wanting to take the chances of waking his father with the creaking floors and the shutting of doors.

He wasn't sure what he was more afraid of -- his father drunk, or his father hungover.

Wooyoung shook his head at the thought.

No, he knew.

Drunk was _way_ worse.

As Wooyoung finished setting up, some of the other volunteers started to arrive and chat amongst themselves, getting their role from the supervisors, and directions on where to stand.

Wooyoung kept thinking about when the soup kitchen would end and he'd have nowhere else to go other than back home.

What day was it anyhow?

Wooyoung took out his cracked phone and checked the day, seeing that it was Sunday seemed to make the smile come back to his face. Sunday was usually the night when he would go out to Itaewon anyway...

What's the harm in going tonight, really...?

It's not like he's going to give himself away completely, he never does.

"Hey, looks like we're neighbors for giving out soup today," an average height, yet muscular man said from beside Wooyoung. Wooyoung admired the man's black hair and kind look on his face, he was handsome.

Wooyoung smiles brightly at the man and nods, "Are you excited?"

"Excited? About what?"

"Seeing all of their happy faces when they receive the food we're providing for them," Wooyoung explains, "I know it always warms my heart to see it. My name is Jung Wooyoung! It's nice to meet you-" Wooyoung trails off, letting his soup neighbor introduce himself.

"Choi Jongho. It's nice to meet you too, Doll," Jongho smiles, instantly dawning upon Wooyoung a nickname.

Wooyoung tilts his head, "What?"

"Your face," Jongho begins to explain, a sparkle in his eyes as he speaks, "You look so doll-like, it's... pretty," He mumbles the ending, realizing he caught himself attempting to flirt with the small blonde boy he just met named Wooyoung.

Wooyoung can't help the blush that rises on his cheeks as he nervously turns his head away from Jongho, and to the pot of soup in front of him.

Someone thinks he's _doll-like_ and _pretty_...?

Wooyoung's heart clenches, remembering the last time he went to Itaewon when he had heard another man call him _pretty_ for the first time, but he brushes it off. The word coming from Jongho's mouth felt different, _much different._

Someone as handsome as him, and someone his own age, calling him pretty?

Wooyoung felt like he could melt down and become his own personal soup right then and there.

"Did I go too far?" Jongho chuckles, speaking up once again when Wooyoung doesn't answer, "I didn't mean to make you uncomfortable," he rubs the back of his head, feeling bad for the flustered boy beside him.

Wooyoung lifts his head back up to look at Jongho, seeing how he looks at him apologetically, and he shakes his head, "No, no, you didn't make me uncomfortable!" He quickly reassures, "I just haven't been complimented by someone so... Handsome before," He chokes out.

Wooyoung is normally not shy like this, but Jongho seems to be doing something to his heart.

Jongho chuckles again, shining that wide gummy smile that Wooyoung's been focusing all of his attention on, "Well, I'm glad about that, then. I think we'll get along well, don't you, Doll?"

Wooyoung knows his face is beet red by this point and he nods again, hearing the doors to the soup kitchen opening, signaling that all of the people are being let in to eat now, "Yes."

Jongho's confidence makes Wooyoung feel weak in the knees, knowing that in any other situation at school or around his peers, he would be just as confident. He's always been a bubbly and outgoing kid around others. It's brought him the presence of a lot of people, but no _real_ friends. He was always too busy to keep up with those kinds of relationships, always doing volunteer work or busying himself with school work to keep from having to go home.

While giving out the soup, Wooyoung keeps his eyes on the clock.

The train he needs to catch to Itaewon leaves at _5:15 PM_ sharp, so he would have to leave the soup kitchen right when they close down in order to make it.

_5:05 PM_

"Looks like that's all for cleaning up, ladies and gentlemen, you're free to go home now. We'll make sure to email you confirmation if you need to record this down for your community service. Thank you so much," One of the supervisors calls out to everyone.

Jongho turns to his side where Wooyoung was standing next to him, "Could I get your-" He pauses, seeing that the spot is empty, "Number...?" He finishes in a confusion, looking around for Wooyoung, but he doesn't see him anywhere.

"Wooyoung left already," Someone calls to him, and Jongho just nods.

Maybe he didn't like him much after all...

**_Next stop ➝ Itaewon_ **

Wooyoung got off the train in a crowd, his body getting pushed out of it by the mass of people, only to stumble before he could look up at the signs. He took a second to catch his breath, wiping his palms on his loose faded blue jeans that he's had for who knows how long. They're ridden with holes at the knees, not having come like that, but there to show the wear.

Wooyoung stuffs his hands into the pockets of his jacket that's also loose on him and starts walking towards the downtown area.

He checks his watch when he finally gets underneath a dim streetlight, seeing it to be just past _7 o'clock_. The night sky is already littered with stars, and normally they'd calm Wooyoung, but around here, nothing seems to ever be able to calm his nerves.

He walked slowly up the sidewalks, passing by a few people that he knew were also here for the same thing.

No one came around here unless they were.

Wooyoung stopped in front of a broken red mailbox, across the street from another streetlight, and he paces around for a moment before settling on standing still. The dull glow lights up his figure just enough so that passersby still know he's there. So they still know he's available.

A familiar black BMW with a scratch along the passenger side.

Him again, Wooyoung thinks to himself as he makes his way over to the car.

"Back so soon?" Wooyoung teases, putting on his playful schoolboy act that he knew this man seemed to like last week.

The man smirks, not looking at Wooyoung, instead just unlocking the door for Wooyoung to get in -- which he does.

Wooyoung eased his body back into the nice leather seats as the man took off, keeping the darkly tinted windows up and the radio on a low hum. Wooyoung laid back and tilted his head to look at him.

Casanova, or Nova for short... At least, that's what he had nicknamed him.

He's the man that picked Wooyoung up last week, too.

He treated him well enough, accepting that Wooyoung didn't want to have full-on intercourse. Wooyoung was fearful that he would've rejected him after that, as some people often do, but he didn't. He accepted the head he received.

Wooyoung met the older man's eyes when he finally looked over at him, nuzzling into his hand as he caressed Wooyoung's face.

"Pretty boy," Casanova smirked, "Let's take a drive, shall we?"

Wooyoung hummed and knew instantly that he wanted the same as last week, having said similar words to him then.

Wooyoung leaned over the console and began to unzip Nova's pants, making sure to look up at him as he did so just in case he glanced down. Wooyoung remembers how he always requested that he look at him when doing anything, and Wooyoung obeyed.

He had a good memory and was good at following directions.

Wooyoung whipped Casanova's length out of his pants and began to stroke him slowly, making small licks on the tip of his head where his slit lies. Wooyoung kept his eyes focused on Nova's aged face, he hadn't had the time to really study it last week, so this week he makes sure to commit it to memory.

Wooyoung has a feeling that this man will be taking him most weekends, now.

Usually, if they come back once, they'll continue to.

Wooyoung saw the wrinkles of stress on Casanova's face as he slid his mouth down fully onto his length. He wasn't too old-looking, but he was definitely old enough to be someone his age's parent. It made Wooyoung shudder internally at the thought, but he continued his pursuit, making quick work of deepthroating him, knowing he likes the sounds of Wooyoung's choking.

"Fuck," Casanova curses under his breath, making eye-contact with Wooyoung as the car jerks in timing with hot liquid streaming into Wooyoung's mouth. He swallows it and licks up the leftovers from Nova's tip before lifting his head out of his lap, settling back into the leather seat.

His back and neck ached from the angle he had to hold himself in for such a long time, but he didn't let the pain show on his face.

"You come here every Sunday night, Wooyoung?" Casanova's low voice asks, his breathing heavy after zipping his pants back up with one hand.

Wooyoung leans his head against the window and keeps his eyes on Nova, nodding even though he can't see him, "Mhm..."

"Real words."

"Yes, sir," Wooyoung smirks, enjoying the way he lives on the edge on Sunday nights like this. There's this risk behind it all that Wooyoung gets a thrill out of, and that high keeps him from becoming depressed over what he's doing.

"That's it, pretty boy," Casanova hums, "I hope you don't have anywhere else to go tonight, I want to drive for a while."

"So your wife is asleep by the time you get home?" Wooyoung chances, and is met by a chuckle.

"You read my mind."

Casanova eventually dropped Wooyoung back off from where he picked him up, slipping him an envelope with a wink, "Til next week."

Wooyoung smiles at him and walks away once he drives off, stuffing the envelope into his jeans.

Next week?

He knew it.

He rushes to the train station and just barely catches the last train home, smiling as he sits down, but on the ride his smile slowly fades into a neutral expression.

He feels the corners of the envelope poking into the skin of his stomach, and with the silence of the night train, he's left alone with his thoughts. Thought of what he just did to get money, but mostly thoughts about where he's returning to.

He'd normally call it home, but he knows that's not what it really is.

That _hell_ could never be his home.

Wooyoung can only hope that his father is passed out from drunkenness by the time he walks through the door.

If not... then, he knows to brace himself for the worst.

꘎ ♡ ━ ꘎ ━ ♡ ꘎ 

_"The kid is selling himself on the streets to get away from his father. If that's not potential, then I don't know what is."_

**End of Chapter Four**


	6. Chapter Five

_"Today is the day."_

The last thing Yunho expected on Monday evening after receiving that ominous letter about joining an elite club was to see his best friend entering the forest surrounding the back of the campus at the same time as him.

Yunho clenches the letter in his jacket pocket, knowing that it said not to speak to anyone about it or else.

_Or else._

The mysteriousness of it all was the thing that made Yunho shudder. The letter contained things about him and his family that not just anyone should know. It even mentioned his affinity for the boy he's now walking beside, both of them oddly silent, not wanting to chance either of their secrets getting out if it turned out that they weren't actually going to the same place.

Yunho glanced over at San, seeing his index finger and thumb rubbing together as they walked.

He was craving a cigarette, Yunho thought to himself.

"Did you get one too?" San eventually asked, deciding to risk it -- Yunho _is_ his best friend, after all. In his head, he knew Yunho wouldn't speak a word even if he wasn't heading to the meeting spot that was referred to in his own letter.

Yunho might be a goody-two-shoes for his parents and some of the time for himself, but San knew if it put him at risk, Yunho wouldn't say anything. Yunho had a good heart.

Yunho's eyes widen when San finally breaks their awkward silence, nodding, "Thank goodness... I was so afraid, San."

"Of the club?" San asks, questioning his fear. Why would he be afraid of something that sounds so good? Promises of a successful and fulfilling future were probably enough for any college student like them to flock to without second thought -- or at least, it was for San.

If only they had stopped to think about the possible downsides.

"Of going in alone," Yunho mumbles, realizing how childish he sounds after it leaves his lips. He didn't like to do anything alone, since all of his life, he never had to. He always had San by his side, or his parents looking after him, so his apprehension of actually showing up to this 'Twilight' meeting was justifiable.

San chuckles and throws his arm around Yunho, falling into their normal routine after that strange bout of awkwardness, "Oh, Yun... You know as long as you have me, you'll never be alone!" He smiles brightly up at his tall best friend, his dimples leaving big indents in his cheeks.

A blush rises on Yunho's cheeks as he sees San smiling up at him like that, his arm around him not helping in the slightest, "Hush... I still was going to go, wasn't I?"

San shrugs as they walk further and further into the deep forest, "But the real question is -- Would you have made it all the way?"

Yunho narrows his eyes at San's question, and he doesn't know the answer -- at least, that's what he tries to tell himself. He knows there was a tug within him telling him to turn back before he got there, but with San beside him, there's no going back now.

꘎ ♡ ━ ꘎ ━ ♡ ꘎

"So what are you here for?"

"I want to teach children, so I'm going for a degree in education."

A snicker echoes through the trees, "I meant _here_ , in the forest. You got the letter, yeah?"

"I... have my reasons."

"Don't we all? What's your name, anyway? I feel like I've seen you around before."

"Kang Yeosang. You?" He answers, his eyes nonstop looking through all the trees, hoping to see other students like himself and the guy sitting across from him. He's had a bad feeling ever since he got the letter, making his stomach uneasy.

_Twilight... Why is that so familiar?_

"Song Mingi, I'm on the soccer team," Mingi replies simply, shifting his weight left and right on the log he's sitting on, trying to ease himself of the awkward tension in the air.

Why are they the only ones here?

Shit, did he get the time wrong?

Yeosang gasps when there's rustling coming from in front of them, two bodies stepping out from the trees, "Yunho? And San...? What are you two doing here?"

San smirks, "Same as you," he hums, taking a seat right beside Yeosang as he digs through the pocket of his jeans before pulling out a pack of cigarettes, "We better be far enough on campus because I damn well need this right now," he says, a hint of anstyness to his voice.

Yeosang shakes his head in disappointment, but he looks up at Yunho and feels even more disappointed, seeing the way he's looking at San with such caring eyes.

Why does he always have to do that?

"Y'all know each other?" Mingi says, interrupting the chatter amongst the clear friends by stating the obvious.

San focuses his eyes on the boy on the other side of the log, knowing he looks familiar, but he can't think too hard about it until his cig is lit. San only offers up a nod and a finger in the air to say 'wait a minute' as he flicks his lighter, covering it with his other hand from the wind as he lights up.

"We're childhood friends," Yunho says instead, smiling at the soccer player, "I'm Jeong Yunho and this is--"

"Choi San," Mingi says, "Yeah, I remember seeing him at the game," he smiles, thinking of how wild of a personality that kid has, remembering him cheering loud, and cursing even louder, during the game.

San breathes out smoke, "You're the guy threatening Seonghwa's spot, hmm? I heard some of the guys talking about it during the after-party," San takes in a deep breath, happy to finally get that nicotine high after the long day of classes, "You weren't even there to hear it."

Mingi's intrigued by San's outspokenness, feeling drawn to the interesting way he speaks, almost like he's above it all.

"I wasn't invited," Mingi says, not feeling ashamed in the slightest.

"Those bastards," San chuckles, "Yeah? Well, I'm inviting you to the next one. Then they can say that shit to your face."

Yunho parts from his separate conversation with Yeosang to nudge San's side, trying to tell him he's being a bit _too free_ with his words, not like that would ever calm his best friend's swearing, but he tries.

San is about to start speaking again but is stopped with his mouth slightly agape.

There's more rustling coming from in front of them.

"What are _you_ doing here?" San asks, blowing out yet another cloud of icy smoke into the air, "There's no way they let my loser brother in too," he teases with a smirk coming to his face.

"Tch," Jongho shakes his head and sits down next to Mingi on the log, "We come from the same seed, if I'm a loser, then you're just as much," Jongho mumbles and crosses his arms, the evening air getting to him. He knew he should've brought a jacket.

"Where are the supposed leaders anyway?" Yeosang asks, becoming restless with all this waiting, he checks his wristwatch.

_7:59 PM_

They have one minute until the meeting was said to start in their letters, and it doesn't seem like anyone else is coming.

Until there's loud rustling coming from in front of them again, and a clearly out of breath boy appearing hunched over in front of them all, trying to find it in himself to be able to breathe again.

"Wooyoung?" Jongho perks up at the sight of the pretty blonde boy he had met yesterday morning where he failed to get his number.

The blonde boy stands up after he's caught his breath and shines a bright smile at all of the boys among him, "I'm so sorry I was almost late," He says, his voice heavy.

"Almost _too_ late," A deep voice chuckles from behind them all.

Everyone turns around to where they heard the voice come from, and three people emerge from the darkness of the trees.

Yeosang's eyes noticeably widen when he sees Hongjoong standing there with Seonghwa and Seulgi. While he didn't know the couple personally, he remembered Hongjoong talking about them before and remembered seeing them at parties.

What is Hongjoong doing here?

The deep voice they had all heard was none other than Park Seonghwa himself, and looking around, he knew Mingi must've known him. They were on the same team together, but Yeosang wasn't sure if any of the others knew him very well. He tried his best not to act like he knew Hongjoong, but an ache pained his chest.

Why didn't he tell him about this?

"We're so glad you all showed up tonight," Seulgi steps up beside Seonghwa and Hongjoong, a sinister smile plastered on her face, "But remember what the letter said."

"Once you attend the first meeting, you're obligated to go through with the full initiation process. If you back out at any point, then there will be _serious_ consequences," Hongjoong states, trying not to let his gaze fall too heavily on Yeosang.

"And we're sure that none of you want what we had on your individual letters to come out to the public, isn't that right? Because it will if you leave. If you leave, then Twilight has no trust in you to keep it a secret, so in turn... We won't keep anything a secret either," Seonghwa says, rubbing his chin as he looks over the recruits for this year, "In this... 'club' we hold the highest amount of trust for one another, and expect our new recruits to do the same."

"Do you all understand?"

The boys look around at each other before they face back to the three people in front of them, threatening their whole futures, and nod.

"Good," Seonghwa winks at them all, "Now, shall we split the six of them among us and begin the first step?"

"What's the first step?" San boldly questions aloud, his curiosity getting the better of him like it often does.

Seulgi giggles, "You'll see... Seonghwa, would you like to choose first?"

"Jeong Yunho, come with me," Seonghwa smiles, motioning his hand for him to follow him as he turns and walks into the forest.

Yunho shakily stood up, looking down at San, who just stomped out his cigarette, for some kind of comfort as his heart was about to beat out of his chest. The handsome guy from that party is one of the leaders of this club and just asked Yunho to follow him. Alone.

Yunho started to follow Seonghwa deeper into the forest, "Wh-Where are we going?" He asks, his voice betraying him by stuttering, showing his nervousness on a silver platter.

"To my car," Seonghwa chuckles under his breath, and soon enough, there's a dim streetlight that's visible a few yards away from a silver Mercedes.

Yunho looks over the car, never having seen such a high-end vehicle this close before. He can't help the awestruck look that's on his face, and he zones out a bit, not noticing Seonghwa climbing into the driver's seat.

"Hop in the back," He offers, clicking open the doors.

Yunho carefully opens the door and gets into the car, the unscratched leather seats intimidating him. San had a car with leather seats, too, but they were littered with small holes and rips from his cigarettes and years of wear.

Seonghwa digs through the black backpack resting in his passenger seat, rummaging out an old polaroid camera, taking teasing glances back at the unsure recruit in his backseat.

Yunho watches as he pulls out the polaroid camera and squints his eyes, scooting up closer to between the seats to look at it, "A camera?" He finds himself questioning, only to be answered with a wink and a nod as Seonghwa turns around to him.

"Would you prefer _real_ or _fake_?" Seonghwa asks, his voice airy as he pulls out a tube of Seulgi's lipstick from the backpack, twirling it between his fingers as he keeps his eyes focused on Yunho. He looks like a flustered mess, and the vague light coming into the car is enough to see how red his face is. Seonghwa internally chuckles at his plans, finding them just as perfect as when he first came up with them.

Yunho's mind races as he thinks about the question.

Real or fake? What does that mean? Yunho avoids eye contact with Seonghwa the best he can, looking at every spot and crevice of his car to keep from looking into those brown eyes. If he's being honest, he was afraid that he was going to wink at him again. He doesn't know why, but that action makes his stomach turn over.

Seonghwa reaches out to touch Yunho's face gently, "Hm?" He hums, "Well, you can think about your answer while you strip," He says nonchalantly, turning back around in his seat as he waits, "Don't be shy... Yours likely will be the tamest of the night, darling."

Yunho feels his heart stop at the request, but starts once again at the pet name.

_Strip?_

_Is this guy insane?_

There's no way he's stripping down, and in some stranger's car, for that matter.

There's _no way._

Until he remembers the letter he received earlier in the day, threatening to reveal all of the sinful acts he's done, and letting him know that they know about his sexuality. They didn't threaten to reveal that information, but he knew they could. They've got him around their fingers, and Yunho knows it.

Why did he decide to come...

Yunho's lip quivers in, what he can only assume, fear as he rests back in the seat of the Mercedes.

Yunho thinks back to San, and remembers him always telling him to just relax and go with the flow like he does, but he just grits his teeth. He isn't San, he tries to tell himself, but he knows that if San was in his position, he'd already have his shirt off.

Yunho's mind keeps going over the possible things that could go wrong if he does as Seonghwa asks or if he walks away right now, and he knows he has to go with the least-damning option.

Seonghwa's chuckle returns when he hears the sound of clothing rustling from behind him, "I see you've made the right choice. It's all about trust here, Yunho. None of us will do physical harm to you," Seonghwa says as he turns back around in his seat, "Now come here."

Yunho shakily scoots up, sliding to the middle of the backseat so Seonghwa is within reach. He closes his eyes and braces for what's coming, to be met with something cold and sticky sliding on his chest. Yunho peeks open his eyes to see Seonghwa writing the word ' _innocence_ ' across his chest.

"That wasn't so bad, was it?" Seonghwa asks, keeping his voice calmer than before when he realized just how afraid Yunho really was, "Now, I'll ask again... Real or fake?"

Yunho feels as if he's being asked truth or dare, and being the good child he always has been, he shakily answers, "Fake."

Seonghwa smiles, not a smirk, but a smile, "I thought so," He hums quietly as he smears some of the lipstick by his lips and rubs some on the pads of his fingers before he dabs it onto his neck. He does this for a few moments until he deems it to look real enough, and sits back, pulling up the polaroid camera.

Yunho feels hot under Seonghwa's touch, and he knows he's not going to get much sleep tonight after this. He realized what Seonghwa was doing just as he was dabbing the last 'fake hickey' on his neck.

Seonghwa points the camera at a sexed-up-looking Yunho, "Smile for the camera, darling."

Yunho looks up at the camera, but he doesn't smile, knowing that if this photo of his ever got out that he would be shamed heavily. Yunho braces himself for the inevitable _click!_ that comes and he still knows he made the better decision, rathering shame to be put upon him alone than to be disowned by his family and casted out by his whole town.

Seonghwa packs everything back into the bag, "I'll be stopping by your work tomorrow with your first mission," he explains, getting out of the car, "Good luck, Yunho," he sends him off with one last wink.

꘎ ♡ ━ ꘎ ━ ♡ ꘎

San watched with concern as Yunho left, and once they're out of sight, Hongjoong steps up next.

"Choi San and Choi Jongho, you're up next," Hongjoong says, crossing his arms, "I'll do you both at the same time. I have special plans for the two of you," he snickers, trying to slip into the person he becomes when he's with Twilight members.

Seulgi can be heard giggling from the side, insisting to keep the remaining members company until either of them return so she can take her first recruit. Blackmail photos were always Seulgi's favorite part about being a leader of Twilight.

Hongjoong leads the two brothers back to his own vehicle, a black 718 Cayman, surely that his parents bought him, San thinks to himself.

Just as they're about to get into the car, Hongjoong in the driver's seat and the two brothers in the backseat, San pulls out a cigarette.

"No smoking in my car, but I'm sure you're going to need one after this," Hongjoong laughs, thinking of his plans as he pulls out his own polaroid camera, "Now are you two ready?"

San and Jongho exchange glances of confusion, not understanding why they were brought out here together when they had taken Yunho alone.

"Ready for what?" Jongho asks, his mind still more focused on Wooyoung, hoping that he will be able to get closer to him through the both of them being in this club together.

"Kissing," Hongjoong tries to conceal his amusement at the confused faces that he's met with, but he waves the polaroid camera in the air in front of them as if that one motion will answer all of their questions.

It didn't.

"Kissing? I don't want to kiss you," Jongho mumbles, sitting back in his seat with a huff, and he can feel San smiling from beside him. Of course, he's finding enjoyment in something like this, San would. He's always been into doing questionable acts, and getting other people, Yunho specifically, to go along with him. Jongho often wondered if San only brought Yunho around to make it seem like the things he would do aren't so bad, but he pushed those thoughts away, feeling bad for even thinking about them.

Jongho knew San and Yunho have been best friends since they were children. He tried to be just as close to them, but his mother and father would always have him working on their big farm. Jongho always found it funny how snooty his parents dressed when they weren't at the farm, and looking at their cars, no one would ever guess they were just farmers.

Successful ones, at that.

How else would they be able to afford such luxuries?

Jongho's thoughts are interrupted by even more confusing words, words that he wouldn't have expected Hongjoong to say. He didn't even know the guy, but who in their right mind would say the words he just did?

"You'll be kissing each other, not me."

"I'm sorry, you want us to... What?" San asks, the shock evident in his voice as he looks at Hongjoong, eyes similar to those of a deer caught in headlights.

"You heard me," Hongjoong laughs, finding the whole thing apparently hilarious as he holds up his polaroid camera once again, waving it in the air, "Kiss."

Jongho side-eyes San, uncomfortable with the situation the two of them found themselves in. His mind is overwhelmed with the advantages of being initiated into Twilight - of course, he and San both know that but... Could he really do this? Could _they_ really do this? Jongho swallows hard before turning to San, seeing Hongjoong's devilish smile out of the corner of his eyes as he and San get closer to one another.

_Snap!_

Ah, the perfect blackmail material.

**End of Chapter Five**


	7. Chapter Six

San rested his left hand atop the wheel of his '69 Camaro with his right shifting gears as he speeds up, his eyes focused on the road for once, "I've got a new part-time job this year," San chuckles, "Yun, could you-"

"Get you a cigarette, I know, San. You act as if you don't ask me every time we're in the car together," Yunho smiles, already having the pack in his hands as he pulls out one of the long sticks, looking it over before he leans and slips it in between San's lips. His eyes linger on San's lips, remembering the time a few years ago when he first kissed him.

San's lips were soft, but he could tell he had been biting on them since he could taste a bitter iron when their lips met. Yunho will never forget that moment. He realized he was still staring and then turned his head to look out the window as he rests back into the seat, "What's your new part-time job?" Yunho asks, wanting to get his mind away from kissing. He hadn't kissed anyone since San have him his first.

The look on San's face twists up devilishly, "I'll be a professor's assistant," he blows smoke out the window, "Professor Lee's assistant," he smirks.

Yunho shakes his head and sighs, "San..."

"It's going to happen this year, Yun. He _accepted_ me as his assistant, that means something. He totally wants me too, so I'm going to have to amp up the charm."

"I don't understand what you see in that creep," Yunho mumbles under his breath, crossing his arms across his chest.

San frowns, "He is _not_ a creep."

"He is, and if he accepts your advances, he's even more so one," Yunho groans, knowing that his jealousy is showing, but he can't help it. It's not just because of San. Professor Lee has always given Yunho bad vibes. It's definitely not just because of San...

The car stops moving as San parks and he leans on the steering wheel and gazes over at Yunho, a dopey smirk on his face, "You almost sound... Jealous, Yun," he teases, but the accusation causes pain to develop in Yunho's chest.

Yunho scoffs and tries to find a comeback in his mind, but he just clumsily unbuckles himself and opens the door to climb out, "Let's just go get our food... We have to get back."

San clicks his tongue, "Damn, Yun, come on don't be like that."

_Slam!_

Yunho is already walking into the restaurant, the door closing loudly, when San is scrambling to get out of his car and catch up with his best friend, "You know... My job starts when we get back."

"So does mine."

"You're still working at the museum?"

"It's really more like a library, but yes. It's peaceful there," Yunho smiles. He's always liked some nice peace and quiet in the middle of his school days. It can be exhausting being around San's antics all the time, Yunho thinks to himself but then chuckles. No, he'd never get tired of San.

"It's too quiet for me," San slides the menu to the edge of the table along with Yunho's. They always get the same thing, so who needs a menu, anyway...

"You'd get kicked out before even stepping inside," Yunho leans towards San in his elbows, letting his chin rest into his hands.

"Hey, it was _one time."_

Yunho coughs up a laugh, "Yeah, and it was also the last one. I can't take you anywhere..."

"How was I supposed to know you can't smoke in there?" San rolls his eyes, but the smile doesn't leave his face. Everything is like a joke to him.

"You're not allowed to smoke anywhere on campus."

"Smoke shmoke..." San shrugs and looks up at the waitress when she comes over to the two of them. He brushes his fingers through his hair before putting on a smooth voice to talk to her, "Two bowls of spicy shrimp ramen, please," she smiles and writes it down, about to turn around when San starts talking again, "Wait, Miss! I forgot something," San holds up a piece of his napkin between his index finger and middle finger to her, "Add one pretty waitresses number, please~"

Yunho laughs out loud when the waitress denies San, explaining that she has a boyfriend before going to the back.

"You're so lame," Yunho giggles, always finding it amusing how confident San is. He's never found himself getting jealous over these menial actions, knowing that San is just playing around. Yunho's not really been a jealous person throughout their friendship, but San usually kept all his relations on the down-low. He'd mention them once or twice, but he knew Yunho didn't like hearing about it much.

Yunho's never dated anyone before, nor has he been on a date. Looking at San across from him now, he wished these little outings of theirs were dates, but Yunho's slowly coming to terms that it'll never happen. He should probably try to get out more... He _does_ go out, but only when San asks. He doesn't much like going anywhere alone.

"Hey, at least I'm trying," San says, one eyebrow cocked as he looks over at Yunho, "Tell me the last time you've flirted with someone you found attractive."

Yunho huffed, knowing that San already knows the answer.

He hadn't.

Well, actually... Yunho attempted to flirt with San many times, but he knew it always came out as friendly banter or teasing remarks. Does that count as flirting? Yunho wouldn't know.

Yunho thought about trying his hand at flirting with Seonghwa, but he kept chickening out, even in his thoughts. Seonghwa seemed like such a flirt, he was always winking and smirking at him. Not _just_ at him, now that he thinks about it, but he brushes those thoughts away. He liked it better when he thought it was meant just for him.

Who can blame him?

Yunho became a fiend for attention at a young age.

"I thought so," San relaxes back into his seat, rubbing his index finger and thumb together subconsciously.

Yunho's eyes quickly glanced down to San's hands and he turned his focus to his neatly wrapped silverware to the side of him instead. San seems to be getting more dependent, and Yunho isn't sure how he feels about it. San's smoked since he was so young that Yunho thought it was normal, but as they continued to grow older, he knew it was a self-destructive behavior.

He'd brought it up to San once or twice, but he would always brush it off saying that he knew.

Of course, San knew. He often flirted with the idea of self-sabotage when he was younger before it all really started. San would look with watchful eyes as the people around him smoked and drank, always winding up with a rather interesting crowd when he didn't want to feel confined to his house on the farm.

The idea turned to reality when San consummated it by taking his first hit off some guy's cigarette. That led to his first real drink, and the drinking led to the party where he took his first shot to the thick vein where his forearm and bicep met. He knew it was bad. Maybe he liked the idea of being bad.

San had a bad trip after taking that needle and didn't touch them again afterward. He was open to trying other drugs, but they weren't really his thing. He decided early on to settle down with cigarettes and alcohol rather than the real hard stuff. San remembered his best friend's face when he begged for him to take care of him the next morning when he was coming off of his high.

Yunho was a god's send.

Ha, San always chuckled to himself when that very thought crossed his mind. His very own savior here on Earth. San never was one for religion, but he didn't mind other people being into it, especially when it came to Yunho. He assumed Yunho really was deep into it, but he knew it started with his parents. As most things do, of course.

San wouldn't have become as interested in such vices if he hadn't seen his father doing them in secret since he was young. His father always tried to be the perfect father-figure for him and Jongho, but San knew he was just as wrecked as the rest of them. It was humbling to see, in San's eyes.

He was still trying for Jongho, but with San, he'd let his guard down more and share a drink or cigarette with his son.

"Here's your spicy shrimp ramen," the waitress says cheerfully and sets down two bowls as if San hadn't just asked for her number a couple of minutes ago.

"Thank you so much, Miss," Yunho says, a puppy-dog smile resting on his face.

"Thank you," San tips his head towards her and instantly digs into his food.

Yunho and San were in silence for a while as they began eating their food, a happy calm surrounding them as they enjoyed their meal together.

It was something Yunho loved about eating with San, about being with San in general. He wasn't fussed when they wouldn't talk, he was content with just sitting with him wordlessly.

As they're finishing up their ramen, Yunho's mind crosses with what happened at the first Twilight meeting last night. He starts wondering if San was also thinking about it, his curiosity destroying his mind as he thinks about the possibilities of what San had to do. Yunho remembers how Seonghwa told him that he would probably be the tamest of them all, but knew it would ruin him just the same.

What did he get himself into, really?

San meets Yunho's eyes for a brief second, and in that moment, they knew they were wondering about the same things. They don't talk about what they each did that night in Seonghwa and Hongjoong's cars, they just understand.

"I'll let you know how it goes," San winks and trots away towards the English and Literature building, and Yunho waves, letting his hand linger in the air a second longer than normal. He watched San enter the building fully before he turned around and let out a deep sigh, watching the ground as he walked to the museum that doubles as a library.

Thoughts of San eventually drift away and are replaced by anxiety and nervousness when he remembers what Seonghwa said to him last night.

_"I'll be stopping by your work tomorrow with your first mission."_

Yunho never told Seonghwa where he worked.

Not that it was that difficult to figure out, but it still unsettled Yunho how much Seonghwa likely knows about him -- how much they _all_ probably know about him. In his letter, his parent's full names were printed and their job titles along with information about his home and what it looked like, the town he lived in, everything. It started off with normal-enough things that Yunho figured they could've gotten from the internet with enough searching, but when they hinted at knowing Yunho's true sexuality, he felt his mouth become dry. He read on, only to see that they knew about his crush on San.

Was he that obvious?

No, it explained that they knew of Yunho's first kiss. It explained how Yunho would sneak San into his house, and how Yunho would sneak out to see San in return.

No one should know about that.

No one.

It should've only been himself and San to know those things, so how could they have found out?

San wasn't the type to talk openly about things like that.

Yunho knew San more than well enough to know that he would never.

_How did they know?_

_How much more do they know?_

_Did the others receive letters with information similarly to his?_

_This could ruin-_

"Jeong Yunho," Seonghwa's voice sings out, calling to him from behind.

Yunho turns around after jumping about a foot in the air and places his palm on his chest, breathing heavily, "What the-"

"That happy to see me?" Seonghwa smirks and does his signature wink, leaning his body against the shelf next to him, his head pressed against one of the books on display as he looks at Yunho.

Yunho feels his face is hot, knowing that his forehead must be damp from previous nervousness and now, current embarrassment, but he stands straight. He shouldn't act like a tame little deer as he does for his parents. San referred to him like that once.

Seonghwa doesn't wait for Yunho's response, instead, he holds out a folded piece of paper to him, "I said I'd come give this to you, didn't I? No need to be so surprised, Angel" Seonghwa's smirk settles into a relaxed smile as he plays with Yunho.

He says there's no need to be surprised, and yet he dawns Yunho with a new nickname.

Angel.

Yunho smiles subtly to himself, thinking it won't be noticed, but Seonghwa's chuckling says otherwise. Yunho takes the folded paper, "Thank you," he mumbles and begins to open it, only for Seonghwa to place a hand atop Yunho's.

"Ah, ah, ah. Not here," Seonghwa whispers, looking up to meet Yunho's eyes, his hand still covering Yunho's.

Yunho just nods and takes his hand away, stuffing the piece of paper into his pants pocket, "Sorry," He hums, keeping his hands in his pockets, hidden away from Seonghwa's soft and warm ones.

"You're so timid," Seonghwa comments, taking his eyes off of Yunho, and pointedly turns towards the shelf to examine it, "You'll grow out of it eventually, little church boy."

Yunho watches as Seonghwa thumbs through some of the books in front of him, wondering what he's thinking about at this very moment. It was something Yunho did often. Wonder about what others were thinking. It was hard not to, knowing his own thoughts made him want to know how his were in comparison to others.

"What are you thinking about...?" Yunho asks softly, disregarding his job of organizing the books on the shelf for a moment, letting his curiosity get the better of him just this once.

Seonghwa looks up at him again, and this is when Yunho notices how his chocolatey brown eyes have a few specks of golden flecks in them.

"You want to know?" Seonghwa asks, pulling his bag back up onto his shoulder since it was falling down, "I'll tell you. I have nothing to hide," He runs his fingers through his hair before continuing, "I'm thinking about how I have to drive home right now in order to get ready for a dinner I'm going to with my family and my girlfriend's family, and how I'd rather do anything else in the world."

Silence settles around them as Yunho takes in Seonghwa's thoughts.

Girlfriend?

Yunho didn't think that Seonghwa was taken, but the more he thinks about it, the stupider he thinks of himself. Of course, someone like Seonghwa would have a girlfriend, it would be ludicrous to think he wouldn't. Yunho just finds it odd how flirty he always comes off, and he starts to wonder exactly what kind of relationship he and his girlfriend have.

Yunho shakes his head, getting rid of those thoughts. He shouldn't be worried about whether or not Seonghwa has a girlfriend and the details of it, that's the last thing he needs to be concerned with.

"What were _you_ thinking about?" Seonghwa asks, getting closer to Yunho until there's only a foot between their faces, "I bet I could guess right here right now," The smirk returns, "San."

Yunho steps back after Seonghwa says San's name, becoming aware of their proximity, and he vigorously shakes his head. He's become accustomed to denying most anything about San ever since his parents found out that he wasn't the kind of boy they wanted their son hanging around with.

"I wasn't," Yunho says, and it's the truth, "I was thinking about how much you knew about me, wondering."

Seonghwa nods and turns around towards where he came from, "Everything."

"What?"

"I know _everything_ about you," Seonghwa says like it's nothing, looking back at Yunho with one final wink, "I'll see you soon, right, Angel?"

Yunho notices that Seonghwa doesn't wait for his answer, walking away with certainty. He already knew that yes, he would be seeing him soon. And Yunho starts wondering if he's even mad about that fact. He settles on no. He's looking forward to it.

Yunho's pants pocket was burning with desire to open the letter, wanting to learn about the 'mission' that Seonghwa talked about.

**End of Chapter Six**


	8. Chapter Seven

The night has gone on long enough when Seonghwa and Seulgi's parents excused themselves to speak about their children's futures together, leaving Seonghwa and Seulgi to sit alone at the dinner table.

"I thought they'd never leave us alone," Seulgi sighs out a long breath, easing her shoulders back after sitting in perfect posture all evening. She tilts her head over towards Seonghwa, "Can you believe it's been four years?"

Four years that Seonghwa and Seulgi have been 'dating' after their parents so kindly forced them together after conspiring about the rise of their two businesses at the hands of their children. Seonghwa and Seulgi's marriage would equate to a happy conjoining of two companies, and happy dealings between them.

Seonghwa remembers the event gala where he and Seulgi first met. It was clear what their parent's intentions were at their introduction, and it was also clear what feelings Seonghwa and Seulgi held for each other.

Platonic ones.

After being, to put it bluntly, forced to be together, they eventually grew accustomed to being significant others -- albeit, not exactly how their parents would prefer. They found comfort in one another. They were both in the same position, so it was easy to get along and relate. They became good friends, but of course, being friends was _not_ what their parents were looking for. If they were, they would have settled for Seonghwa and Hongjoong's friendship.

No, they wanted them to consummate their relationship.

So they did.

They were dating openly not even a month after meeting.

At first, they dreaded having to act romantically-involved, since they still didn't hold those special feelings for each other that were expected of them.

Eventually, they didn't hate the facade they had to keep up for their parents as much anymore. It became easier to kiss each other and spend more time together as time went on. Kisses and touches adjusted to normal for the two, as if they were second-nature, not intentionally romantic gestures.

Of course, they hadn't even started college when they got together, and being together in such a way for that long would lead to a bit more... Seonghwa often wondered if these acts required emotional attachment, as he's never felt much of anything towards Seulgi, or other people in general. He's always been quite the flirt, finding it fun to tease the people around him, but his heart has never stirred the way he thought it should.

He and Seulgi didn't think much of when they would lay in bed together, they knew they would inevitably be at each other's side for the rest of their lives anyway, so they were glad they at least could stand one another.

That's more than they could say for either of their parents.

"It's hard to believe it's been that long, really."

Seulgi twirls the straw that's in her glass, leaning towards Seonghwa, "To the rest of our lives," she lifts the glass to him and makes a _clink_ sound with her tongue, knowing Seonghwa wouldn't move to lift his glass to hers.

Seonghwa knew their parents left them to talk about his and Seulgi's marriage. It was coming up, after all. They were third-years now, and they were to wed immediately following their graduation.

"How is Joy? She is treating you well?" Seonghwa asks, genuinely curious of Seulgi's other romantic endeavors.

Not a surprise, Seonghwa and Seulgi were mutually exclusive. They hadn't seen anyone else before, but when Seulgi talked to him about potentially wanting to see someone else during their 'relationship' he wasn't fussed. Seulgi explained to him that Joy knew of her and Seonghwa's situation and was okay with it as long as she got to see Seulgi. It was endearing, really.

And a bit tragic.

Seulgi and Joy have been together ever since and she's spent less time alone with Seonghwa outside of class and the club, only really seeing him during Twilight meetings and when they got together for their parents like tonight. Seonghwa didn't mind, though, since he could focus more on his real love, Soccer.

If humans couldn't make his heart stir, Soccer sure could try. The rush of adrenaline he would get at practice or right before games was unlike anything he's ever come close to matching in feeling.

Seulgi's whole face lights up at the mention of Joy's name, "She's wonderful. We actually had," she clears her throat, "plans for tonight, but dinner was longer than I expected it to be..."

A smile rests on Seonghwa's face, enjoying the happiness that erupts on Seulgi's face. His mind quickly comes up with a solution to her predicament, standing up from his chair at the dinner table, "Ah, come here. I'll fix that for you."

Seulgi follows Seonghwa's lead as they walk towards the small circle of their parents.

"Father, Mother, would it be alright if Seulgi and I depart?" Seonghwa starts, making sure his tone of voice is flawless as he speaks, "It's getting quite late and I promised to help her study after tonight's dinner."

Seonghwa's father, Gyungho, turns towards the couple first, listening to his son's request. He thinks for a second, but nods once, "How noble of you, Son. Of course you two may leave," he chuckles, not missing the way his son holds his girlfriend's hand, a smile of contentment on his face, "Happy studying, right, dear?" He turns towards his wife.

Seonghwa's mother, Hyejin, nods with a cheerful smile, "You always make wonderful grades, Seulgi, I'm happy our son could be apart of that."

Seulgi's father steps in to bid goodbye, his wife tucked behind his shoulder, "Don't stay up too late, you have an _8:00 AM_ tomorrow morning."

"Yes, Father."

With that, they were off. Seonghwa drove his own car to the dinner, while Seulgi rode with her parents, so he walked them to his silver Mercedes.

"You're a lifesaver," Seulgi lets out, smiling bigger than ever as she buckles herself into the familiar car, "I'll text Joy telling her I can still make it. Thank you so so much, Seonghwa," she leans over and kisses Seonghwa on the cheek.

Seonghwa turns over the engine and starts driving to Joy's house, this not being the first time he's driven Seulgi there.

"I do my best," Seonghwa says, and they drive in a comfortable silence until Seonghwa begins again, "How do you think the recruits are doing with their first mission?"

"I'm sure a few of them are shocked by their task, but none of them are _too_ terribly hard. We picked them ourselves, after all. It will help a few of them... Get out of their comfort zones. As always, some will have harder missions than others. It's the-"

"Luck of the draw," Seonghwa finishes for her, smirking to himself, remembering when they all wrote missions and assigned them appropriately. He knows the next few weeks will be amusing to say the least.

Seonghwa parks on the road just outside Joy's house and he rolls his head over to look at Seulgi, "Have fun," he winks, "Not too much, though."

Seulgi sneers at him and pushes his shoulder as she climbs out of the card, "Oh fuck off," she laughs, "You just miss having me around all the time, loser," she jokes, but honestly, Seonghwa has been a little lonelier without her company. He had grown so used to having her around more often.

Seonghwa shakes his head, the smirk still settled on his lips as Seulgi shuts the door and trots up to Joy's front door. He waits for her to go in before he takes off once again.

On the late-night drive, Seonghwa wonders how his Angel will do with _his_ task.

꘎ ♡ ━ ꘎ ━ ♡ ꘎

Yeosang smiles at the children and hops up, clasping his hands together, "Alrightie, little ones~! It's lunchtime, so go get your lunch boxes and head to the lunchroom. We'll meet back here after," he says, his voice full of joy as it always is for his school kids he helps co-teach.

The kids run out of the room, other than Hongjoong's little brother, who's still standing there when Yeosang turns around after cleaning up the room a bit.

"Jaejoong, aren't you going to go to lunch with your friends?" Yeosang goes to him and squats down, looking at him with a friendly face.

"Hongie is bringing me my lunch today!" Jaejoong says excitedly, "You and Hongie are friends, right, Mr. Kang?"

Yeosang's cheeks flush at the mention of Hongjoong, but he nods, even though he's caught off guard by the question, "Well... That's right, Jaejoong! Well, I hope your big brother comes soon, you're going to end up missing out on lunch at this point," he says playfully.

"Hey, I'm hardly five minutes late," Hongjoong's voice interrupts the two.

Jaejoong rushes over to his big brother, wrapping his arms around his hips in a big hug as he takes the brown paper bag in his hands, "Hongie, you're the bestest! Thank you so so much!" He gives Hongjoong one last squeeze before running off to the lunchroom.

Hongjoong smiles down at his little brother, "Hey, don't eat too fast!"

Hongjoong looks up at Yeosang after the room is cleared, and he's met with a narrow-eyed look.

"Why didn't you tell me you were coming...? And you told Jae we were friends?" Yeosang grumbles, pushing some hair that fell in his face behind his ear.

Hongjoong admires Yeosang for a moment, always taking every second he can to do so, "I thought I'd surprise you, Yeo," he says, trying to be careful with his words. He watches as Yeosang pushes the hair behind his ear, noticing that he's still covering up his birthmark.

"As if you haven't surprised me enough in the past few days," Yeosang huffs angrily, going and sitting at the desk in the back of the room, Hongjoong trailing behind.

"Yeo... I couldn't-"

"Yeah, whatever, you couldn't tell me about your stupid secret club. Do you _know_ what they had me do, Hongjoong? Do you?" Yeosang's voice raises, "Do you know what they're making me do _now?_ Of course you do, you're one of them," He rants, throwing the crumpled piece of paper he received from Seulgi that explained his first mission.

Hongjoong rests his backside against the corner of Yeosang's borrowed desk, catching the crumpled paper. He opens it and sighs, knowing that _he_ was the one that chose this mission for Yeosang. Hongjoong was hoping it would help him become more comfortable with himself, and open up, but seeing his boyfriend's disgruntled expression now... He's not so sure he will even go, and the fear that alone instills in him makes him shudder. Yeosang _has_ to pass through the Twilight initiation.

"I am _not_ going to a fucking gay bar, Hongjoong," Yeosang says quietly, cursing even softer, making sure his voice is only audible to Hongjoong. Yeosang's heart is pounding as he releases everything he's been thinking about, "I only went to the stupid meeting because... b-because it felt so familiar," his voice starts to shake, and Hongjoong places a gentle hand on Yeosang's.

"Yeosang... It's going to be okay, I promise," Hongjoong says, keeping his voice calm as he squeezes Yeosang's hand in an attempt to help ground him.

"I already felt weird about coming to SNU in the first place, but I just... _I_ _had to._ I had to follow in his footsteps," Yeosang's bottom lip quivers, "Y-You know how close the school is to the Han River, Hongjoong..."

"I know, Yeo... I know," Hongjoong shifts his body closer to Yeosang, caressing the top of his palm with his fingers slowly, "I'm here, my love..." He chances, taking what he can while they're alone together.

Yeosang's eyes water and he raises his free hand to wipe them, but Hongjoong's already cleaned him up. The Han River was where his brother had... taken his life... and he tried to not think about it too much.

Twilight made Yeosang uneasy just as SNU did, and he knew it was cursed in some way. But that's what made him go to the first meeting. He has to figure out what is wrong with this school, what is wrong with this club...

Yeosang looks up at Hongjoong with watering eyes, his head easing into his Hongjoong's touch. Hongjoong looks at him with such fragility and care, that it alone makes Yeosang want to curl up into his body and cry. Hongjoong helped him stay stable, and Yeosang always cherished him as his friend — just a friend, he'd tell himself.

It pained him seeing Hongjoong's eyes full of love looking at him like he was perfect. He knew Hongjoong deserved better, someone that would accept and reciprocate his love. Someone that would love him the way he deserved.

His eyes looked out at the classroom, past Hongjoong, and his mind clouds with memories of when Yeosang had first met Hongjoong.

꘎ ♡ ━ ꘎ ━ ♡ ꘎

Hongjoong has been unusually unable to sit still as he's seated beside his younger brother, Jaejoong. Jaejoong had invited him as his special family member to come have class with him today, and Hongjoong couldn't say no to his favorite person in the world. What Hongjoong didn't expect was the breathtakingly handsome co-teacher that stood beside Jaejoong's normal teacher, Mrs. Nam.

"Jae, I didn't know you had a student teacher," Hongjoong says as he's helping his brother knead the homemade playdough they were making.

Jaejoong is mashing the playdough into the table, getting bits and pieces stuck to his fingers as he looks up at Hongjoong, "Mr. Kang just started this year, Hongie~!" He lifts his hands up to Hongjoong's face, "He looks old like you," Jaejoong laughs out loud and Hongjoong has to calm him down a bit.

"Is everything okay over here, Jaejoong? Who did you bring today?" The short light brown-haired man they were just talking about asks, kneeling down to their table with a warm smile.

Hongjoong looks over at him and he can't seem to hide the reddening of his cheeks, hoping that he doesn't notice or look at him that close. When their eyes meet, all of that is lost.

"This is my older brother, Hongie, Mr. Kang!" Jaejoong smiles so big both his top and bottom set of teeth are on show, and he lifts up his lump of playdough, "Look, look! We did good, didn't we? It's amazing!"

Mr. Kang nods and pats Jaejoong's head, meeting eyes with his student's older brother 'Hongie' after he pulls his hand back and he's startled by how many ear piercings the man has, "It's nice to meet you..."

"Hongjoong."

"Hongjoong. My name is Yeosang, I'm a student teacher for Jaejoong's class this year," Yeosang says, not missing the redness that's appeared on Hongjoong's cheeks.

Cute.

Hongjoong nods, suddenly at a loss for words as he's taken by Yeosang's beauty, but he turns back to Jaejoong, trying to shake himself out of this trance, "Jae seems to like you a lot."

Yeosang chuckles, "And I like him a lot too! He's very bright, I'm sure you know, and it seems like he's a master of making playdough too," He says, taking the lump that Jaejoong held out to him, "It's perfect. Great job, Jaejoong!"

"I couldn't have done it without Hongie," Jaejoong lays his head against Hongjoong's upper arm.

Yeosang nods with a big smile, "Well, I'll see you again in a little bit, Jaejoong. I'm going to see how everyone else is doing, okay?"

Jaejoong answers in a quick nod, taking back his playdough.

Hongjoong watches as Yeosang leaves, and he notices his heart rate is faster than normal. How can he be handsome _and_ good with his little brother? He's the one that's perfect, not the playdough...

When the students, including his brother, go to lunch and the parents and siblings start leaving, Hongjoong stays behind a bit.

He waits for the classroom to be mostly filed out before he goes up to Yeosang.

"Excuse me," Hongjoong says nervously.

Yeosang turns around from packing his school bag up, slinging it on his shoulder as he comes face to face with Jaejoong's older brother, "Oh, Hongjoong, right?" Yeosang flashes that familiar smile he gives to his students.

Hongjoong nods, unable to help his foot from tapping on the ground at his own nervousness, "I... I was wondering if you'd like to go out to lunch with me."

Yeosang's eyes widen, not having expected that to come from his mouth.

"Go to lunch?"

Hongjoong nods, "Before I have to go back to campus, I mean... I just thought you seemed to be my age, and I thought we could be friends or something," He rambles, hoping that he doesn't sound as stupid as he thinks he sounds.

Yeosang chuckles and starts walking towards the door, and Hongjoong's heart is about to plummet until Yeosang turns back around to him, "Are you coming?"

It was all over for them after that.

They discovered that they both went to the same university and began seeing each other more and more off-campus and spent a lot of time together, becoming drawn to one another instantly. They became friends quickly and became lovers even quicker.

Secretly, of course.

**End of Chapter Seven**


	9. Chapter Eight

Mingi tries to focus on his microbiology assignment, but it was getting deterred by the distracting scene in the front of the classroom.   
  
  


San was sitting in a rolling chair beside his professor making teasing remarks and blatantly flirting right in front of the class. No one else seemed to pay it any attention, but Mingi sure saw it. San the one being his professor's assistant doesn't help any, of course. Even San just sitting up there being still would cause distraction for Mingi. He wants to learn more about him.  
  
  


San brings out the curious side of Mingi.  
  
  


What does he like to do?  
  
  


What is his past like?  
  
  


Does he always smoke so heavily?  
  
  


Mingi is excited about getting to know San, and he comes up with a plan to ask him to hang out after class -- assuming that he was only Professor Lee's assistant for one class. That's how it normally works, but Mingi has a feeling San would try his very hardest to stay past class hours to 'help' Professor Lee out, or whatever other excuses he knew San would come up with.  
  
  


San seemed dangerous in both mind and action, and that fact only intrigued Mingi further.   
  
  


Mingi has always thought of himself as a lost soul, not really moving with purpose through his life, but merely flying through like a feather in the wind. He wasn't someone that disrupted the order of things around him. He would go with the flow and didn't mind doing so, but sometimes he wishes he would try something new.   
  
  


Mingi has never been sure about much of anything, especially where he's going in the future. He never belonged in a certain group or had set plans before college, but he often wonders what his life would be like if he had.  
  
  


Now, he's sitting in his microbiology class that he should've taken as a first-year and staring mindlessly at a guy he knows little to nothing about, making up stories of what his life was probably like. He's wondering about how San might've got into smoking as much as he does, or why he curses so often. He imagines that San watched one or both of his parents smoking while growing up, and that's how he picked it up. He imagines that San was a rebel without a cause, cursing like a sailor just because he could and no one would do or say anything about it. He wonders if San wished someone _would_ say something. If San wished his _parents_ said something.   
  
  


San seems like the perfect mystery that Mingi wants to figure out, that Mingi wishes he could be.  
  
  


Mingi wishes to have a friend like San, and he's not going to sit idly by like he normally would. He's going to do something about it, to try and put himself out there and attempt to find some meaning to his life.  
  
  


In all of his twenty-two years of life, soccer has been the only meaningful and constant thing he's had. He knows his parents worry about him a lot, but they always tried to help him the best they could. It's hard to help someone that doesn't know how to help themselves.   
  
  


Mingi thought it was always a weird concept to know exactly what you wanted to do as a child. How did a kid want to know what they wanted to for the rest of their life? 

Mingi always loved soccer, having started playing at an outrageously young age due to his father being a big sponsor for the national team. His father supported his love for soccer and would love even more if Mingi got drafted for the national team, but Mingi never dreamed of being this big soccer star. It's just something that sort of fell into his hands as he got older due to connections and his surprising skill.  
  
  


Soccer can't be a major, though, so Mingi sat down with his parents and they settled on a safe and stable political science major. Mingi enjoyed the concept and theory behind it, but he still doesn't know what he would want to do with it.  
  
  


He feels like he's been missing out on life, and it's starting to get to him the more he sees others thriving.  
  
  


That must be a reason he's so drawn to Choi San.  
  
  


God, Mingi just wants to figure out what he wants from this roller coaster called life, and he's hoping having some real friends might help him with that. That's the whole reason he accepted the Twilight invitation in the first place.   
  
  


He wants to find somewhere to belong.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Alright, class, you may turn in your projects if you're finished with them today, but if not, they're due to my email tonight by _11 PM_ at the latest. This is the hard deadline, everyone. You're dismissed," Professor Lee stands up and takes the project packets of the students that managed to complete them, Mingi not being one of those students, of course. He was too busy feeling sorry for himself and imagining potential friendships.  
  
  


Mingi meets San's eyes on his way down the stairs to leave the classroom and he smiles at him widely. That small act of kindness is enough for Mingi to gain the courage to stay standing outside of Professor Lee's classroom and wait for San.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


San has been subtly flirting with Professor Lee the entirety of today's class, and he knew that it was bothering him. San could see the way Professor Lee's muscles would tense up when San would deliberately brush his knee against Professor Lee's thigh when he'd turn towards him. When he was grading some of the student's papers, he noticed that Mingi was in this class he'd be assisting for the rest of the semester.  
  
  


It was nice to see a familiar face, but San couldn't take his attention away from his professor. He didn't mind if Mingi saw anything, but a small part of him hoped that he wouldn't catch sight of his flirtatiousness. It was hard not to, though.  
  
  


Nearing the end of class was when San amped it up, taking every chance he could to graze hands with Professor Lee, whether it be when he was handing him the graded papers, or when he gave him back his pen he borrowed. San made sure to always 'forget' materials so he would have an excuse to talk to Professor Lee, but it didn't seem like he cared about San's faux forgetfulness.  
  
  


The students started to file out of the classroom, so San stood and leaned over his backpack, slowly putting everything back in. He angled himself so that his backside would be in clear view if Professor Lee decided to look over at him. He hoped he would. It might be the first class back, but Professor Lee was already acting differently than he had San's first year.   
  
  


He was... Not as dismissive with San's touches.   
  
  


It made San almost think that he wanted them as much as he did.  
  
  


"San."  
  
  


San turned at the cold voice of his professor, "Yes, sir?" San smiled, running his hands through his hair as he leaned slightly on the desk.  
  
  


San swears he saw Professor Lee's eyes flicker towards the now-closed classroom door.   
  
  


They're alone.  
  
  


"You've got to stop this," Professor Lee sighs, but his words don't match his actions as he gets closer to San, "You were a wonderful student, that's why I accepted you as my assistant... But if you continue this," He gestures his hand towards San's button-up shirt that was one more button away from getting him a public indecency charge, "Then we're going to have a problem."  
  
  


San's smile curls up into a devilish smirk, closing the distance between the two of them. He was never a good student for him, he knew that what Professor Lee said was a crock of shit, but it was still nice to hear. He normally _was_ a stellar student in all subjects, but he had been so distracted his first year. By a certain someone...  
  
  


Why _did_ he accept him this year?  
  
  


"And if I want us to have a problem?" San asks, his voice silky as his fingertips brush down his own neck, not stopping his never-ending teasing.  
  
  


This was when Professor Lee would step away from San and threaten to send him to the headmaster for inappropriate behavior, but he didn't.  
  
  


Not this time.  
  
  


"Then I'd have to punish you myself, Mr. Choi."  
  
  


San's heart felt like it came to a halt at those words, but it soon came roaring alive again when he felt Professor Lee's knee slip between his legs, closing the space of their bodies. He knew his lips subconsciously parted when he saw Professor Lee tilting his head and leaning in, but not going the full way. He waited for San to kiss him first, and he did.  
  
  


San didn't have time to wonder why Professor Lee waited for San to make the move to actually connect their lips.  
  
  


San met Professor Lee's lips with haste, resting his hands on his shoulders while Professor Lee's hands found their way into San's ashy blonde locks. His mind became clouded as they kissed, the act being heated and in the moment. Hot and heavy breaths escaped both of their lips when they parted, San looking up at Professor Lee with hooded eyes, "You don't know how long I've been waiting for that."  
  
  


Professor Lee chuckles, running the palm of his hand down the bare skin revealed from San's shirt, "I believe I do... Now, I'll be seeing you next class, yes?" He turns back to his desk, sorting through his papers as if what they just did didn't happen.  
  
  


San sighs with a blissful smile, "Absolutely, Sir," He says, putting on his bag to turn and leave the classroom.  
  
  


"And, San?" Professor Lee calls out calmly, willing San to look back at him, "You taste like cigarettes."  
  
  


San chuckles and winks, "Get used to it," he signs off and leaves, shutting the door behind him. The stupid smile is still settled on his face when he turns around, only to be surprised by a tall guy standing there, as if he were waiting. San looks up, seeing that it's Mingi, and he feels a rush of adrenaline within him. The feeling of almost getting caught riled San up, but he plays it cool as he always does.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Mingi takes a good inhale of breath when he sees San finally leave the room, his eyes trailing over his clearly disheveled appearance.  
  
  


He didn't look like that a few minutes ago in the classroom, Mingi thought as he looked at San's messed up hair and blushed chest. He took his eyes away from the betraying giveaways of what San was just up to and instead asked what he intended to when he first decided to wait for him.  
  
  


"Hey, San, I was wondering... Do you want to go get a coffee with me or something?" Mingi asks, a big goofy smile on his face.  
  
  


San runs his fingers through his hair, knowing Mingi must've noticed, but he flattens it back out, "Yeah! But can I invite Yunho too? I promised him I'd hang out with him after my first assistant job," he smiles to himself, unconsciously rubbing his index and middle finger together.  
  
  


Mingi nods happily, excited that San even said yes. Not that he thought he'd flat out say no, but there's always that thought in the back of his mind of rejection.  
  
  


"Yeah, Yun, can we meet at that small coffee shop on the corner instead? You remember Mingi, right? From, mhm, yeah, the club. He's going to join, too. He's actually one of the students in the class I'm an assistant in."  
  
  


Mingi follows San as he talks on the phone with Yunho. After hearing and seeing the way they interact, it warms Mingi's heart. The thought of having such close friends like that appeals to him so much, and he's hoping that maybe if he hangs out with them enough, he will be invited into their circle.  
  
  


"Shit, Yun, I have so much to tell you... Do you think I could get away with having a smoke before we go in?"   
  
  


Mingi doesn't realize the last part was directed at him until he noticed San not moving, and his face turned back towards him. He sees San's phone put away, so he must've hung up on Yunho already.  
  
  


"You don't mind, yeah?" San asks, already pulling out the carton from his jeans as he asks, flipping the top and sliding one of the sticks between his fingers.  
  
  


Mingi shakes his head, "No, no, it's okay."  
  
  


"Thank god," San lets out a light chuckle as he lights up, "You want one?"   
  
  


Mingi has never smoked before, but the slim stick San holds out to him half-mindedly is starting to look tempting.  
  
  


"Yun never smokes so I never ask him, but we don't know each other too well yet, so I figured I'd ask," San smiles, seeing Mingi's hesitation, "It's cool to say no, you know?"  
  
  


Mingi nods. It is okay to say no, but the temptation to feel just that little bit closer to San takes over as he accepts the cigarette, "Thank you."  
  
  


San lets out a long breath of smoke, getting closer to Mingi with his own lit cigarette tucked between his fingers, "Comere, I'll light you up," He makes a cupping motion after he pulls out his lighter again, and Mingi leans down towards his cupped hands, letting San help him.  
  
  


One inhale and Mingi already is trying to swallow back a cough.  
  
  


"Hey now, big boy, take it slow," San chuckles, smoking like he's done it for years -- which he has.  
  
  


Mingi suddenly feels immensely embarrassed, but he does as San says and continues to cautiously take in the tobacco, letting it invade his lungs, knowing they're begging him to stop.  
  
  


"When did you start smoking?" Mingi asks, his voice already hoarse, but his curiosity to know more about San is ever-growing.  
  
  


San thinks for a moment, "My first puff was back in grade school, but I started doing it regularly maybe five or so years ago?"  
  
  


"Why?" Mingi wonders, seeing the coffee shop right in front of them, so he pauses.   
  
  


"That was around the time when my adolescent mind was so strung up on my parents putting all of their time into my younger brother, not that I made it too easy for them to even talk to me... But, y'know, when you're that age you kinda think everyone's out to get you and shit, or at least, I did. Jongho's a good kid, and a better brother, so when we got older I apologized to him for being so cold in high school. That didn't stop the smoking, though, I grew to like it," San laughs, throwing his on the ground before he rubs it into the cement with his shoe.  
  
  


Mingi's surprised that San opened up that much to him, but that just showed more for his character than anything. His suspicions of San being a laid back person turned out to be true, and it made Mingi even happier to get a step closer to being his friend.  
  
  


"You coming?"  
  
  


Mingi looks up to see San standing in the doorway, holding the door to the coffee shop open for him. Mingi nods and steps forward.  
  
  


"Ah, ah, ah, you can't bring that in here," San winks and Mingi quickly puts out his cigarette similarly to how San had just a few seconds ago.  
  
  


"Right, yeah," Mingi says, stuffing his hands into his jacket pockets and he walks into the coffee shop, San following behind him to a table that already had a red-faced Yunho sitting at it.  
  
  


"Hey, guys!" Yunho said cheerfully, but there was some resistance in his voice from the conversation he had with Seonghwa at his work, "How was it?" He asks, referring to Mingi's class and San's first time as an assistant.  
  
  


San has a sinister smile on his face as he takes his seat, "Ah... Yun, I'll have to tell you more about it later, but it went well."  
  
  


Yunho feels an underlying suspicion about San's words, and he's anxious to know what he won't say in front of Mingi. He can only think the worst.  
  
  


"It was alright, but I couldn't focus really," Mingi says truthfully, "I'm going to have to stay up late to finish that project packet Professor Lee gave out," He sighs, the taste of smoke still staking claim on his tongue, and he's sure his breath smells just alike.  
  
  


Yunho nods, and they order their drinks, small talk occurring amongst them until Yunho finally asks what he's been meaning to, "Did you guys... Uhm, receive your mission yet?" He says, keeping his voice low as he asks.  
  
  


San and Mingi both shake their heads no, but Mingi speaks up, "Seulgi said she would be stopping by today's soccer practice to give me something, though..."  
  
  


"Yeah, Hongjoong didn't mention anything about a mission that I remember, but... That night was kind of a lot, so he could've. I haven't seen him around today, though--" He stops his sentence abruptly when the sound of the coffee shop opens back up to reveal Hongjoong walking in, "And speak of the devil."  
  
  


Mingi laughs at the coincidence, and Hongjoong finds them easily, a solemn expression prevalent in his eyes, but the smile he wears acts as a cover, "Funny seeing you all here, hm?" Hongjoong pulls up a seat and sits on it backward, facing them.  
  
  


"We were," Yunho clears his voice, "Just talking about you, actually."  
  
  


"I'm sure you were, I'm sure you were," Hongjoong mumbles, digging in the back pocket of his pants before he pulls out a small folded piece of paper that Yunho immediately recognized, and holds it out to San, "Waiting for this? I got a little caught up on initiation night, I didn't tell you about it."  
  
  


San takes the paper with an uncomfortable hand, putting it away without a second glance, "Thanks..."  
  
  


"Aw, not happy to see me, Sannie?" Hongjoong laughs, teasing San with a nickname he remembers from his profile they gathered.  
  
  


San narrows his eyes, and Hongjoong stands back up, "I wouldn't imagine you would be, but come on, not even a little smile?" San returns Hongjoong's second question in a scoff and Hongjoong sighs, "Fine, fine... I'll leave you three love birds to your date."  
  
  


And with that, Hongjoong was gone just as suddenly as he appeared. It was unsettling, really.  
  
  


"Is this what you were talking about, Yun?" San asks once Hongjoong has fully left the coffee shop, and Yunho only nods wordlessly.  
  
  


The rest of their talk is a bit strained, but San eventually smooths it out when he drops some of his coffee onto his shirt followed by a string of curses.  
  
  


They're all getting up and about to leave when Mingi starts speaking, "Maybe we could all hang out again soon?"  
  
  


Yunho smiles widely, "For sure! It'll be nice to have a friend whose presence doesn't cause worry that we will get thrown out anywhere we go," he jokes.  
  
  


San groans, still mulling over his ruined shirt, "Well, damn, drive me right into the grave why don't you?"  
  
  


"It's happened before," Yunho whispers not so subtly to Mingi.  
  
  


"It was _one time_ , Yun."  
  
  


"Three times, actually."  
  
  


Mingi only laughs at their exchange, and when they're out of the coffee shop San drops the act and waves a hand at Mingi, "You're not so bad, you know? We'll invite you out next time, too."  
  
  


Mingi feels a stream of happiness run through his veins as he watches San and Yunho walk off together, and he clenches his fist in success.  
  
  


Maybe joining this club was the right choice after all. Without it, he would've never met San or Yunho.  
  
  


 _And_ they said they're going to invite him out again?  
  
  


Mingi didn't think he added much to their already established dynamic, but it meant a lot to him that they thought he was worth the time.  
  
  


He can almost feel some sort of meaning finding its way into his life.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**End of Chapter Eight**


	10. Chapter Nine

On his way back from grabbing dinner, Jongho enters the courtyard and finds a familiar silhouette sitting on the edge of the fountain.   
  
  


"Hey, Doll," Jongho smiles warmly as he sits down next to Wooyoung, who has a few textbooks scattered around him along with loose sheets of paper. Jongho sets his take away bag beside one of the opened textbooks, "What are you doing out here so late?  
  
  


Surrounding the two of them are dim lights and very few students, as the sun has already begun to descend past the horizon line. The students that still remain are on their way back to their dorms, and the emptiness shows that the majority of the SNU population are sitting back at home, having already turned in for the day.  
  
  


Wooyoung looks up at Jongho, his hands holding tightly onto one of his books in his lap, "I-I was just getting some more studying in," he chuckles, but the chill of the air causes his voice to shake slightly. The sun going down means the warmth that was once there is dissipating, and Wooyoung doesn't have anything other than his signature long-sleeved shirt.  
  
  


Jongho leans over to examine the book he was so enamored with, "Ah, veterinary science?" He looks up at Wooyoung, whose face is reddened from the cold, "Oh, here, here," he shrugs off his own jacket and holds it out to Wooyoung, "You look cold," he awkwardly chuckles, trying to make it not seem like such a big deal.  
  
  


Wooyoung shakes his head, gently pushing the jacket back towards Jongho, "No it's okay, you'd be cold too," he tries, but his chattering teeth are hard to keep a secret.  
  
  


"I think you need this more than me right now," Jongho insists, setting the jacket beside Wooyoung, "Anyway... Have you eaten yet?" Seeing Wooyoung's state in this weather, he starts to wonder how long the boy has been out here.  
  
  


Jongho smiles when he sees Wooyoung close his textbook and put on his jacket, that's clearly an oversized fit on him. Like this, he looks just like a beautiful dress-up doll and Jongho shakes his head with a big smile, the hot air becoming visible from his mouth.  
  
  


Wooyoung hums, tightening the jacket around himself with his arms, unknowingly inhaling a soothing scent of outdoors and freshly-cut grass that he can only assume comes from Jongho.  
  
  


"No, not yet," Wooyoung mumbles, letting himself curl up into the warmth of the jacket. His eyes have been closed as he took in the heat and new scent, he didn't realize Jongho holding up his take away bag until he heard the sound of paper rustling in front of him, willing his eyes back open to meet Jongho's kind eyes and the bag he was carrying when he sat down with him.  
  
  


Jongho's gummy smile shines even in the now-darkening light from the descending sun, "Well, I hope you don't mind cold fried chicken too much," He chuckles, motioning for Wooyoung to take the bag, "I'd heat it up for you if I could."  
  
  


Wooyoung's eyes widen in shock of Jongho's kindness, and it makes him want to cry.  
  
  


"R-Really, are you sure?" Wooyoung's chattering teeth are still not used to the warmth, but now, he's not sure if his stutter is from the cold or from the sheer surprise of someone doing something this nice for him. Wooyoung hadn't expected to have dinner tonight, instead, always saving his food money to have a nice lunch. Around dinner time was when his plans would be uncertain, so he preferred eating when he could have a steady schedule. Breakfast was normally out of the question unless he could sneak a snack in one of his morning classes, so lunch was always the perfect time.  
  
  


Jongho nods, "I wouldn't have it any other way," he relaxes back on his hands, "Besides, seeing you happily eating will make my day."  
  
  


Wooyoung's now unsure if his reddened cheeks are because of the cold or if they're because of the heated blush he felt crawling up his skin as soon as Jongho said those words. Wooyoung hesitantly opens the bag, seeing two rather large pieces of fried chicken sitting wrapped up. He pulls one of them out and immediately digs in, the flavor instantly hitting his taste buds and he feels this tingling sensation that he knows is his body telling him how happy it is to be eating such nice food.  
  
  


Wooyoung's hums and munching fills the silence around the two boys, Jongho just admiring the joy-filled look that settles on his new friend's face as he eats. He doesn't break the nice moment with meaningless small talk, instead, letting them relax in a comfortable quiet, surrounded by the now completely dark sky.  
  
  


Wooyoung finishes both pieces of fried chicken and he looks up at Jongho with an embarrassed smile on his face, "Ah, sorry, you must think I'm a pig."  
  
  


Jongho laughs and shakes his head, "Not at all. Actually, you still look just as pretty. I never noticed you had a little mole under your eye," Jongho gently pokes the small dot on Wooyoung's face, "I'm glad you enjoyed the food, Woo."  
  
  


Wooyoung feels his heart pound and he nods, "Thank you, thank you so much," He instinctively bows his head a few times before cleaning up his books and papers.  
  
  


"Yeah, we should probably be getting home, huh?" Jongho breathes out as he watches Wooyoung pack.  
  
  


Wooyoung stiffens at the mention of home, pausing in his packing, but he starts again, hoping that Jongho didn't notice.  
  
  


But Jongho hasn't taken his eyes off of Wooyoung.  
  
  


"Do you need a ride home? It's pretty late now, and I don't know if I feel right about you catching a train or bus at this time if I'm honest," Jongho stands up, picking up the paper bag that once carried the fried chicken and he tosses it in the bin.  
  
  


Wooyoung is about to tell him that no, it's okay, he's used to going home during these times, but he stands after he slings his backpack on, "It wouldn't cause you too much trouble?" Wooyoung ends up questioning, feeling his hesitance of going home, but also his hesitance of leaving Jongho. His attachment to his newfound friend is easy for him to see and understand. Wooyoung's always been a rather trusting person that gets fixated easily despite his circumstances at home that would, more commonly, lead to the opposite.  
  
  


"Not at all. Besides, it gives me more time to spend with you, Dollface," Jongho gives him another gummy smile before he waves his hand for Wooyoung to follow him to the SNU parking lot.  
  
  


"Thank you," Wooyoung mumbles as he closely follows behind Jongho, looking around at all of the expensive-looking cars that still linger in the otherwise barren parking lot.  
  
  


Wooyoung stops when Jongho does, looking up to see a white pickup truck, and he can't help but giggle.  
  
  


"Hey, no laughing, it's what I use for work," Jongho hoists himself up into the truck after opening the passenger side door for Wooyoung to climb in too.   
  
  


"Where do you work, a farm?" Wooyoung playfully teases, becoming much warmer after Jongho starts up the truck and cranks up the heat for the both of them. He buckles himself in and lifts his legs up to sit crisscrossed on the seat with his head tilted, his cheek against the headrest as he looks over at Jongho while he drives him home.  
  
  


"Precisely," Jongho chuckles, unable to stop taking glances over to Wooyoung as he drives, "Where do you live, Woo?" Wooyoung gives him his address, and Jongho begins to drive with more focus.  
  
  


Wooyoung didn't expect his answer, "Do you really? That's actually really cool, Jongho," Wooyoung smiles, his eyes turning into little half-moons, "I can totally see you out in the fields or in a barn with cows."  
  
  


Jongho plays the radio quietly as they drive, "It's my parent's farm, really... But if you saw them out in public, you'd never guess they own a farm. It makes a surprising amount of money. I'm going to be taking it over once I'm out of school."  
  
  


"Does San ever help out?" Wooyoung wonders, remembering that they're brothers. It's hard to correlate them together since they're not very similar, in dress or in actions. It's even harder to see San out on a farm when he tries to imagine it.  
  
  


Jongho sighs, "He used to when we were really young, but he was never that into it. He's the older child, so our parents thought he'd be the one to take over most of it, but with his disinterest, that duty fell onto me -- not that I mind it, no, I was planning on it... It's just-"  
  
  


"Sad that he'd just up and leave the whole thing," Wooyoung finishes for him, having a feeling that was around what he was going to say.  
  
  


Jongho taps his fingers on the steering wheel, "Exactly... So, Woo, I saw your veterinary science book. Is that what you're going to SNU for?"  
  
  


Wooyoung's eyes light up at the mention of his major and he nods even though he knows Jongho can't see him, "Yes! I've been passionate about animals since I was young, and it only grew as I got older. I even have a cat named Pita that I took in. I found him one night on my way back home around four years ago now."  
  
  


"Pita? That's a funny name, where'd you come up with that?" Jongho asks, finding genuine interest in Wooyoung's life.  
  
  


Wooyoung nibbles on his bottom lip as he remembers when he first found Pita, "Well... I hadn't come up with a good name to stick at the time, but my father found out I brought a cat home. When Pita was climbing on the furniture since he got out of my room, my father called out 'Who brought this pain in the ass into our house?' so after that, I thought Pita fit," Wooyoung chokes out a chuckle, "It just kind of suited him, he is a bit mischievous..."  
  
  


Jongho laughs at the story, "Pita for 'pain in the ass'? I love it," Jongho looks over at Wooyoung briefly with his wide smile, "Now... I think we're getting closer to your house, can you tell me which house is yours exactly? It's kinda hard to see this late and," Jongho pats the dashboard, "She doesn't have the best headlights."  
  
  


Wooyoung giggles and nods, "Of course," He sits up straighter and looks out the window, feeling the anxiety rising within his chest the more they drive down his road, getting closer and closer to his home.  
  
  


Jongho eases his speed back to a crawl, trying to look at the house numbers.   
  
  


Wooyoung lifts up his hand, trying not to tremble as he points, "Ah, it's that one," he points towards a small rundown home that is noticeably less taken care of than the rest of the houses on the street.  
  
  


Jongho nods, not thinking anything of it, pulls into the drive, and puts his truck in park.  
  
  


"Thank you so much for taking more home, Jongho," Wooyoung says as he unbuckles himself and climbs out of the truck slowly, "Please be safe on your way back."  
  
  


Wooyoung is about to turn around to walk to his house when Jongho calls out, "Wait, Woo! Could I maybe get your phone number?" He asks, finally being able to ask him after wanting to the first time they met.  
  
  


Wooyoung's face flushes with embarrassment, "I... don't have a phone, I'm sorry."  
  
  


Jongho is slightly surprised at first, but he nods in understanding, "No, it's okay, don't apologize. In that case, have a great night, Doll. I really hope I'll get to see you again soon," He pauses for a moment before quickly adding, "Do you want to go to the Saturday night soccer game with me?"  
  
  


Wooyoung's eyes light up similarly to how they did when talking about animals and he nods, "Really? Yes, I'd love to go!" He says excitedly, but rubs the back of his head, "I, uhm, don't have a car either..."  
  
  


Jongho waves his hand in the air with a shake of his head, "I'd be picking you up, Dollface. No need to worry about that, okay? I'll be here around _6:00 PM_ , does that sound good?"  
  
  


Wooyoung feels the butterflies stirring in his stomach, "That sounds amazing," His voice comes out smoothly for how erratic his insides feel.  
  
  


"You can depend on me to be on time," Jongho winks, "I'll see you then?"  
  
  


"Absolutely!" Wooyoung says and with that, he turns around while he still has the will to function.  
  
  


On his way up to his front door, he doesn't hear Jongho pulling away, and he glances back to see him still sitting there. He smiles to himself and gets to his door, where he realizes he still has on Jongho's jacket, but he decides he will give it back to him Saturday night.  
  
  


Wooyoung opens the door and closes it behind him, eyes closed as he lets his back rest back onto it, the smile is still present and it's making his cheeks hurt at this point.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**"Who the hell was that?"**   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Wooyoung opens his eyes to see his father standing a few feet in front of him, a clearly angered expression on his face that is on the brink of rage. Wooyoung's eyes waiver down to his father's hands where he sees the near-empty glass bottle being gripped tightly.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**End of Chapter Nine**


	11. Chapter Ten

Yunho looks up when the doors to the lecture hall open and he sees San striding out to him with a shit-eating grin on his face, paper in hand.  
  
  


"Mission complete," San holds the paper up, and it looks to Yunho to be a giant red stamped 'F' on the front of a mathematics exam, "That was the easiest thing I've ever done, damn did they really think it would be that big of a deal?"  
  
  


"San, that's going to lower your overall grade down so low that you'll have to makes straight A's the rest of the year to still pass the class," Yunho says, worry laced in his voice as he stares at the paper, taking it from his best friend's hands to study.   
  
  


How could he have made a perfect 0%?  
  
  


San groans and shakes his head, "No need to worry your pretty little head about it, Yun. You know I'm abosu-fucking-lutely _stellar_ at maths," San takes the paper back and folds it up, shoving it into his pants pocket to keep for proof at the next Twilight meeting, "So, have you done yours yet?"  
  
  


Yunho sighs, remembering the moment he unfolded the mission that he received from Seonghwa.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_MISSION #1:_ **_Jeong Yunho_ **

_Sneak into Headmaster Han's office and spray paint 'CHEATER' onto his desk_

_(Proof is unneeded, as the news will surely spread)_   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"No... Not yet," Yunho mumbles as they walk to the soccer field together to where Seonghwa told him to go, inviting San along as well since he knew he'd already be with Yunho.  
  
  


"You've got this, Yun. You still have a lot of time if you think about it," San smirks, "What do you think Seonghwa invited us out here for?"  
  
  


Yunho shakes his head, another sigh escaping his lips, "I'm not sure, but he seemed amused when he invited me... At least we get to see Mingi, too," Yunho says, happy to see their new friend again.  
  
  


"Mingi's a good guy, yeah?" San climbs over the fence into the soccer field while Yunho uses the gate, a loud laugh coming from San as he lands.  
  
  
  
  
  


" **Watch it, Choi!** " The soccer coach yells out, his voice a twang angrier than normal, as it always is when San is around. He didn't find San to be particularly appealing. Especially not since his freshman year he streaked across the soccer field during the last game of the season, costing him a month of his summer to be spent fixing things around the campus since his parent's managed to get him out of being kicked out.  
  
  


"Yeah, yeah!" San calls back, a playfulness to his voice as he climbs the bleachers with Yunho in tow.  
  
  


"San, it's only our second year and you've almost gotten kicked out of school twice now..." Yunho sits down, flattening out his cream-colored button-up shirt and straight-legged trousers so they won't crease too badly.  
  
  


San sways his torso back and forth before coming to a stop, looking over at Yunho, "They can't kick out someone that helps keep their exam scores so high," San smirks once again.  
  
  


Yunho eyes San's pocket where his most recent exam paper is, "I'm sure after _that_ , you're going to have to start being more careful..."  
  
  


San makes a fake pouting look at Yunho before he ruffles up Yunho's soft brown hair, "Aw, Yun... Are you worried about me?" He puckers his bottom lip out.  
  
  


Yunho feels his face heat up at San's sweet look, but he looks down at where his shoes meet the bleachers, avoiding San's eyes, "Shush, of course, I'd be worried..."  
  
  


San leans against Yunho's arm and hugs it tightly, "You're such a little angel, aren't you?"  
  
  


Yunho's surprised to hear that from San, remembering the way Seonghwa had nicknamed him 'Angel' the other day.  
  
  


"Hey, boys," Comes a female's voice from beside them, the bleachers creaking as two more people sit down with Yunho and San. They look up to see Seulgi and Hongjoong, Hongjoong adorning a polaroid camera around his neck.  
  
  


"Come to see the show?" Hongjoong chuckles and Seulgi's laugh isn't far behind.  
  
  


The coach's whistle rings out and the guys come piling out. They spot Seonghwa immediately, Yunho smiling when he sees him, and does a small wave, which Seonghwa returns with a wink he's not sure Yunho will be able to see from the stands. Yunho shakes his head and looks through the other boys, trying to find Mingi.  
  
  


"You don't see Mingi, do you?" San asks, both boys looking for their new friend, while Seulgi and Hongjoong are talking to each other in hushed tones.  
  
  


Yunho shakes his head, " No," squinting a bit to see if Mingi really wasn't on the field, or if he were just blind.  
  
  


After all of the boys seemed to have entered the field, the doors to the locker room open back up to reveal a sight Yunho, nor San expected to see.  
  
  


"M-Mingi?" Yunho's voice croaks out.  
  
  


San's mouth falls open for a moment before a hysterical laugh comes from him at the sight.  
  
  


The sight of Mingi coming out of the locker room in only his underwear, letting his chiseled chest and legs be free to the autumn air.   
  
  


Seulgi and Hongjoong hoot and holler and the subtle _Snap!_ comes from the polaroid camera Hongjoong is holding up. Eventually, the four of them are all laughing, Yunho holding his hand over his mouth to try and contain himself as Mingi spins around slowly, his own laughter being shut down by the deafening yell of the coach.  
  
  


" **Song Mingi, what in the** ** _hell_** **do you think you're doing?** " The coach yells out, going up to him, "Get back in there and put your uniform on. Right. Now."  
  
  


"Nice one, Mingi!" Seulgi calls out right before Mingi reenters the locker room.  
  
  


Seulgi and Hongjoong dipped not too long after Mingi came back out with his normal soccer uniform on, leaving Yunho and San to watch the entire practice. After practice, Seonghwa and Mingi meet up with them.  
  
  


"You two coming to the game tomorrow night?" Seonghwa asks, his usual proper clothing back on and his hair is wet from the quick shower he had taken, but his voice is unusually casual.  
  
  


San nods, "Of course. I go to all of them," He looks up at Yunho, "You're coming too, right, Yun?"  
  
  


Yunho quickly nods. His San is going, he's definitely going. He always would go to school events like soccer games with San, but would always skip out on the after-parties until last time.  
  
  


He got over his one party he promised to San, and he doesn't think he'll be going to anymore, to be honest. But... Things can always change.  
  
  


Like feelings.  
  
  


That night after San dropped him home, Yunho just laid down after doing his goodnight prayer. He already cut off all of the lights, and he's underneath the warm and comfortable covers of his bed, staring up at the ceiling as confusing and questionable thoughts begin entering his head.  
  
  


Yunho's stomach starts to tighten, feeling the movement from underneath his pajama pants, knowing he's already getting hard. His eyebrows knit together, trying to think of something to make it go down, but he can't help his hand sliding down his shirt and slipping into his pajamas.   
  
  


Yunho's touched himself before, but he always stops, knowing it's wrong.   
  
  


He feels himself twitch under his own touch, his thoughts eventually drifting to where they usually do in moments of weakness like these.  
  
  


San.  
  
  


He hesitantly feels down the shaft of his member, it growing harder and harder with each impure thought, inevitably getting lost in his own imagination as he closes his eyes to visualize.  
  
  


His thoughts of San slowly trail off into thoughts of Seonghwa after he closes his eyes, and his member fully hardens when Yunho grips himself at the base.  
  
  


In his mind, he sees Seonghwa's tall, lean, and muscular figure in his soccer uniform. He sees his black hair and flawless skin, biting his lip at the way he brushes his hair back to reveal his forehead when he speaks with such poise. The sweat that was dripping off of him after soccer practice ended. _Oh_ , and the wetness of his hair when he approached them this afternoon. He must've showered...   
  
  


Yunho gasps loudly, low moans escaping his mouth, and doesn't realize his own intense pumping and arousal over his thoughts until he cums all over his hand, soiling his pajama bottoms in the act. His hand slips out of his soiled bottoms and falls onto the mattress as Yunho breathes heavily, panting hard as he opens his eyes to once again stare up at the ceiling.  
  
  


The shame of what he's just done begins to settle in, but he wonders why his shameful act felt so good. At this moment, Yunho fully realizes that that's the first time he's ever gone all the way. The first time he's ever came...  
  
  


And to a boy, at that.  
  
  


Park Seonghwa... The name passes through Yunho's mind, but he tries to shake it away.  
  
  


Why did he think of him...?  
  
  


San is always the one he ends up thinking about in times like these, and even then, he's been able to stop himself. He's been able to stay clear-minded enough to not go all the way. He has always managed to tame his own lewd desires.  
  
  


So why not this time?  
  
  


The uncomfortable wetness and stickiness of his pajama bottoms starts to become more noticeable as he comes down from his high, and he gets up out of his bed. A dizziness comes over him as soon as he stands. He scrambles for the box of tissues on his bedside table and shakes himself out of his soiled bottoms, picking them up quickly. He rests them in his bare lap and frantically tries to get the cum off of his hands and upper thighs before making the attempt at his pajamas.  
  
  


The pajamas seem like a lost cause at the hand of a paper tissue, so he quietly tugs on a different pair and sneaks downstairs, doing his best not to step on any parts of the floor that creak. Yunho tosses the soiled pants into the washer with the rest of the clothing that was waiting to be washed the next day.  
  
  


No one will ever know the sin he's committed tonight, Yunho thinks to himself, but he already knows he's wrong.  
  
  


Heknows.  
  
  


And so does _He._  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**End of Chapter Ten**


	12. Chapter Eleven

Yeosang has been pacing back and forth in the train station for the last half hour debating on whether or not to actually take the _8 o'clock_ train or not. He got there an hour early because he knew this was going to happen.   
  
  


A gay bar...? Really?   
  
  


Yeosang's heart sank when he opened the paper Seulgi gave him and read what his mission was. His immediate reaction was _hell no_ , he's not going to a gay bar of all places, but now, here he is in the train station with a ticket in hand. A ticket to ride the train isn't going to cement himself actually going to the bar, but it does make him one step closer to accepting his fate in going.  
  
  


Yeosang has been having this war in his mind for years now, that only grew larger and more bloody when he met Hongjoong.  
  
  


Meeting Hongjoong changed his life, and Yeosang could feel the war coming to its head — the part when either side's leaders would slay one another and everything started to break down into nothing.   
  
  


Hongjoong brought so many complex feelings into his life, feelings that Yeosang didn't have time to focus on or care too much about. He had... more than enough occupying his mind... and someone being as forward with his interest in him as Hongjoong was sending his mind into overdrive.   
  
  


The moment he fell in love with Hongjoong was the exact moment when he'd been slain. After that was when it fell apart, his internal kingdom crumbling to pieces.   
  
  


This was never a part of his plan.  
  
  


None of it was...   
  
  


Yeosang was always quick to disregard looks from both men and women, and no one had approached him until Hongjoong — and at the elementary school where he worked, at that.   
  
  


Hongjoong was so bold, so brave.  
  
  


And he loved deeply.  
  
  


Yeosang remembers the first night when Hongjoong confessed his love for him and it makes him go weak in the knees at the thought. Remembering his own breakdown in tears over the words made Hongjoong worried. So, so worried about Yeosang. Worried that he said the wrong thing, but how could love be wrong?  
  
  


When Yeosang looked up at Hongjoong for the first time after he told him, he was blurry through the tears, but his undeniable love for Yeosang was indisputable as he held him close and pressed their foreheads together. Yeosang remembers the alcohol coursing through his veins that surely didn't help his vision, but never had he ever seen Hongjoong so clearly. He had seen him naked, sure. Hell, he was naked then... but never had he ever seen him so _bare_.  
  
  


Hongjoong stripped back every layer he had in front of Yeosang, and Yeosang couldn't even pick off a speck of his own. He remembers how his chest clenched and ached in pain, wanting to tell Hongjoong that he loves him back, but it never came out. It still hasn't. Yeosang hated thinking about how quickly after the moment of silence that Hongjoong told him that he doesn't have to feel the same right then, or even ever...  
  
  


It was then that Yeosang knew Hongjoong deserved so much better than him.   
  
  


He gave so much and never expected anything back.  
  
  


Yeosang felt like he's taken and taken from Hongjoong and now you'd think he hardly has anything left to give at all, but he somehow still has more.   
  
  


"Are you getting on or what, Kid?" The train driver calls out to Yeosang, noticing the ticket in the young man's hand.  
  
  


Yeosang looks up at him and goes to take a step forward, inhaling in a deep breath before he continues the rest of them to get onto the train. He finds a seat next to an elderly woman and nods his head subtly before he sits. Yeosang leans his head against the window and stares out, getting, once again, lost in his thoughts.  
  
  


Yeosang finds himself wondering what Hongjoong and Yunho are doing right now, but he tries to get himself away from Hongjoong. He can't handle those thoughts right now.  
  
  


Yeosang's phone bings and he looks down as he slides it out just to check the notifications.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**Mom**

_Are you coming home tonight, honey? It's getting late._   
  
  
  
  
  


**Yunho**

_I need to talk to you asap. Are you going to the soccer game tomorrow night?_   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Yeosang sighs and pushes it back down in his pocket. He'll answer his mom later... When he gets home, he hopes. With Yunho, he's surprised to have even seen the message, but he decides to answer with his appearance at the soccer game. From the question, he assumed Yunho would be going already.  
  
  


Yeosang has never been one for messaging back right away, always dismissing them until he feels ready to fully respond. By fully responding, he knows his replies will consist of a short _yes_ , _ok_ , or _no_. He preferred talking in person or if he had to, by phone call. Texting never suited him well. It gave him too many opportunities to ignore instead of confront, and he's been trying his best hand at confronting conversations.   
  
  


It... hasn't been going well.  
  
  


But he keeps telling himself that he's trying.  
  
  


It's easier to be truthful once he's had a few drinks in him, so when the train stops and Yeosang steps off, seeing the bar just a few buildings down, he decides maybe it wouldn't be so bad to go. For the drinks. And after a few drinks, he knows he will be able to forget where he's actually drinking.   
  
  


It's a good thing that the mission note said that it would be the bartender he needed to get some special flyer from.   
  
  


From the outside, it looks just like a normal bar, but one step inside would force him to look down at his feet as he walks through. He flashes his ID and is let in with ease. On his way to the bar, he can almost feel eyes on him. He sat down and blocked out the crowd behind him, but the mass amount of male voices are one thing he can't block out.  
  
  


"What would you like to drink?" The bartender smiles at him with a wink not far behind.  
  
  


Yeosang lifts his head for the first time to see the, admittingly, handsome bartender, "Sazerac. Straight up, no ice," he decides, wanting to get wasted, and fast.  
  
  


The bartender snickers and nods, "Gotcha, gotcha."  
  
  


"Oh," Yeosang starts again just as the bartender is about to turn around, "I also need a flyer?" He asks with a questioning tone in his voice, and a knowing look appears on the bartender's face.  
  
  


"I see..." He says and disappears behind the bar to where Yeosang can only assume he's making the drink and getting what he needs to complete his mission.  
  
  


It's not as hard as he thought, Yeosang thinks to himself. It's just a bar.   
  
  


"Hey, beautiful."  
  
  


Yeosang looks up at the voice and sees a strong-looking man sitting down on the barstool next to him, his mind instantly popping up with Hongjoong. He wonders if he could've come here with him instead of going alone, but he already knows that the whole point of this mission for him was to take the step and actually go somewhere where he was seen as openly gay.  
  
  


"How are you tonight?"  
  
  


"I'll be better after a drink or five," Yeosang mutters, the closed-off aura stating 'don't talk to me' clearly being present, but the man doesn't go away like the majority of the students at SNU do.  
  
  


The man just laughs at Yeosang's joke, "I hear you with that one," he raises his glass as if to say he wants another and then fully settles into the seat, leaning forward on his elbows, "So, what brings you here?"  
  
  


Yeosang just shakes his head and is relieved when he sees the bartender coming up to him with his glass and a paper flyer, "Here you are," he says as he sets the drink down, "And say hello to Hongjoong for me, will you? Name's Hyunjin."  
  
  


Yeosang's face scrunches up at that but he just nods and picks up his drink, downing it as if it were a shot, "Fuck," he mutters, slamming the glass back down before he stuffs the paper into his jacket.   
  
  


So it was Hongjoong who picked this mission for him?  
  
  


Of fucking course it was...  
  
  


But Yeosang isn't as mad as he wanted to be, no, he has this small tugging in his heart telling him that Hongjoong is just trying to help him.  
  
  


"Two more, please," he calls out and sighs, putting his face into his palms against the counter.  
  
  


"Damn, you sure can drink," The man says, and Yeosang just hums a small 'yeah' in return.  
  
  


The glasses are soon set in front of him and they're gone just as fast, the liquor running its course through his veins without holding back. He can already feel the surroundings getting hazy, and he tries to look over at the stranger that still sits beside him, "What are you still doing here?" He asks bluntly.  
  
  


"Been waiting until you're drunk enough to actually talk to me," the man laughs, "Guess that means now," he winks at him once again and the action immediately reminds Yeosang of the things Hongjoong's told him about Seonghwa.  
  
  


"Very funny," Yeosang sighs.  
  
  


"But really, what brings you here? You scoping out the best-looking men in Seoul or what?"   
  
  


Drinks keep getting set down in front of Yeosang until the bartender refuses to give him any more, "I had to," Is all Yeosang can utter as his mind starts to turn into that sweet mush he's been craving. In that mush are thoughts of Hongjoong and his incredibly dreamy brown eyes and sweet words that make him melt.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_"Shh, let me admire you for a bit."_   
  
  


_"I love you, Yeosang."_   
  
  


_"You're the most beautiful man I've ever seen."_   
  
  


_"You shouldn't hide your birthmark, my love, it's so pretty."_   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Hongjoong's words swarm in Yeosang's now-opened mind and it makes him long for his boyfriend. Yes, his boyfriend... They've been dating for a little over a year now, and the only time Yeosang can manage to accept his relations with Hongjoong is when he's absolutely trashed. It pains him sometimes to think about that fact when he sobers up enough to still accept it, but not enough to become aware of the other problems that plague his life.  
  
  


"Ah... You _had_ to?" The man beside Yeosang slowly rests his hand onto his thigh, "And why is that?"  
  
  


Yeosang's body feels tingly from the touch, but looking up at the unfamiliar man makes him scoot off of the barstool, stumbling almost to the floor, but he catches himself just in time.   
  
  


That's not Hongjoong, and _no one_ is allowed to touch him other than Hongjoong.  
  
  


God, _Hongjoong_...  
  
  


Yeosang holds the stool he was once sitting on to stabilize himself, "Don't touch me," Yeosang tries to say, but he honestly has no idea if the words even came out, and even if they did, he knew they wouldn't be comprehensible in the slightest.  
  
  


Yeosang mindlessly fumbles in his jeans trying to find his phone as he stumbles to the back of the bar where the bathrooms are. He falls against the wall of the bathroom as soon as the door closes behind him. Thank god for automatically shutting doors because Yeosang can barely even work his hands right now. How he achieved the small feat of getting his phone out of his tight pants is a true miracle.  
  
  


Where is Hongjoong? Even in his mind, his voice is slurred and he feels like he's in a pool. He feels like he's drowning. He just wants to be with Hongjoong... He always makes everything better. He makes everything go away for a little while.  
  
  


His thoughts start to conflict with one another when he slides his phone across the bathroom floor, hearing it hit off of the other side of the wall, when Yeosang thinks about how he's a 22-year-old adult. He can take care of himself. He _should_ be able to take care of himself.  
  
  
  
  
  


_Eunsang was 22, too._   
  
  
  
  
  


Yeosang feels the tears start to form in his eyes, and he begs his thoughts to stop.  
  
  


Don't go there...  
  
  
  
  
  


_He took care of himself, didn't he?_   
  
  
  
  
  


Stop.  
  
  


Stop...  
  
  
  
  
  


Yeosang looks down at his hands as his thoughts run wild, and his hands are shaking badly from what he can see. He can't tell if he's actually shaking or if it's the liquor affecting his brain and vision, but he crawls over to his phone haphazardly as the tears stream down his cheeks and drip onto the tiled bar bathroom floor.  
  
  
  
  
  


_He took care of himself..._   
  
  
  
  
  


Yeosang feels like he should've been there to take care of his brother more than he was, but in the back of his head, he can sometimes still hear Eunsang's voice.  
  
  
  
  
  


_It wasn't your fault, Sang. You were so young._   
  
  
  
  
  


Yeosang knows he could've helped, even at 12-years-old. The thought finally settles in that everyone needs a little help sometimes, someone to take care of them... And right now? Yeosang needs someone.  
  
  


Yeosang goes to his recent calls and shakily hits Hongjoong's name, putting him on speaker so he doesn't have to hold his phone any longer. If he kept holding it, he knew he would drop it. He sets in on the floor as it rings, and he doesn't even realize his own sobbing until he hears Hongjoong's sleepy, yet soothing voice come through the line.  
  
  


"Yeo? Are you okay, my love? It's a little late," Hongjoong's voice has worry behind it, "Are you having trouble sleeping again?" He starts asking, but then he hears the crying and his voice becomes clearer, as if he sat up in his bed, "Where are you, Yeo?"  
  
  


"A-At the bar," Yeosang slurs and hopes that his boyfriend can make out his drunken words mixed with sobs, "P-Please come pick me up, Joong... I... I need you," Yeosang's voice cracks throughout and he starts breathing heavily, "The thoughts are coming back... They're coming back a-and the d-drinks are supposed to make them go away. Why aren't they going away?" Yeosang mumbles, staring up at the bathroom ceiling, the lights becoming too bright for him to keep his eyes open.  
  
  


Rustling and sounds of struggle are coming from Hongjoong's line followed by the slam of a door, "I'm coming, Yeo. I promise I'm coming as fast as I can, my love. Just take some deep breaths, okay? Focus on my voice, I'll stay on the line."  
  
  


Yeosang mumbles incoherently, his body feeling like it's about to melt off he's so hot, but in reality, outside of the mass amount of alcohol, he's cold. _So cold_.  
  
  


"I-I... I hate myself, Joong... I just want to be good," Yeosang starts rambling subconsciously, words getting lost from the overwhelming thoughts that plague his mind, "You... Take care..."  
  
  


"I'm only a few minutes out, Yeo. You're in one of the single bathrooms, right?" Hongjoong keeps talking, his question getting answered by a hum and more words of incoherence, "Good, good, baby... Keep talking to me, alright?"  
  
  


"I just want to be able to l-love myself... I want to forgive," Yeosang cries, forgetting about trying to steady his breathing like Hongjoong asked of him, "Eunsang..." Yeosang sobs, and it isn't long after that when the bathroom door he's in opens to reveal Hongjoong's worried face.  
  
  


Hongjoong goes to Yeosang instantly and kneels down, taking his face in his hands gently, "Yeo... We're going to go home, o-okay?" Hongjoong's voice trembles at Yeosang's state, wondering if he's ever seen him _this_ wasted. It's been a long time. Hongjoong picks Yeosang up carefully and takes him out to his car, buckling him in before he climbs back into the driver's seat.  
  
  


"Joong," Yeosang whimpers.  
  
  


"I'm here, my love, I'm here," Hongjoong drives them back to his house, one hand on the wheel and his other holding onto Yeosang's frozen limp one.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**End of Chapter Eleven**


	13. Chapter Twelve

Saturday evening came quicker than Yunho thought it would, and now here he sits with his parents at the dinner table, thinking about how he wants to tell his parents that he's going to go out tonight. He was nervous, but he knew one thing, and that was to not bring up the fact that he was going with San.

"I was going to go to the soccer game at school with my friends tonight, if that's okay," Yunho says as they're finishing up eating their dinner his mother had prepared, interrupting the common silence that settled around them most dinners.

"Which friends, honey?" Yunho's mother asks, standing up from her seat to pick up everyone's cleaned off plates. She's been especially attentive tonight after Yunho's father complained of a headache.

It was not a good night to say he was going with San.

Yunho regrets his word choice immediately, realizing he shouldn't have said the phrase 'with friends' in his sentence.

"Ah, I'm going to see my friends, not with. I have two new friends that asked for me to come cheer them on. They play on the school team," Yunho recovers, hopefully, smoothly.

"What are their names?" Yunho's father asks, still sitting at the table with his hands neatly in his lap. He narrows his eyes and shoots a look down at Yunho's elbows.

Yunho quickly nods and removes his elbows from the table before responding, "Seonghwa and Mingi. Seonghwa plays center mid-field and Mingi's a forward," he says, as if his parents know what those positions mean.

Yunho's mother's face lights up with happiness as she turns around to her son and husband, "That sounds wonderful, Yunho. I'm so glad you're making new friends," she says, genuinely happy her son has finally said some new names in this household.

Yunho's father nods in approval, "Well, you know curfew."

Yunho smiles, knowing that those words mean that yes, he can go. He knows he shouldn't have to ask for permission since he _is_ 22-years-old, but still living under his parent's roof means that he's still a child to them and will be treated as such.

Yunho is excused from the table and goes up to his room to change into something comfortable. He looks through his closet of mostly white and light-colored shirts and he carefully picks out a pastel blue button-up and puts it on. When he looks at himself in the mirror he nervously goes between having the top button undone or buttoned up.

After much consideration, he decides on having it buttoned up.

It's cold outside, he justifies.

_Honk!_

Yunho peeks out the window and sees San's car, taking an inhale of breath before he goes back down the stairs, but he's stopped just as he has his hand on the doorknob.

"You didn't say who was picking you up," His father's voice calls from behind him, willing Yunho to look back and see his parent's slightly angered and disappointed faces.

"I..." Yunho starts, but is interrupted, thankfully.

"We'll have a talk tomorrow after service," His father sighs.

"We're picking up Yeosang, too-" Yunho tries.

"Tomorrow after service," His father finalizes, and Yunho knows that's his cue to leave.

So he does.

He rushes out of the house and down the path to San's car, getting in and letting out a deep breath. Yunho finally feels like he can breathe again. The tension in his house was killing him.

"Well, shit, I didn't think you'd be acting as if you'd just run a marathon. I didn't bring any water," San teases, and Yunho doesn't have to look over at him to know what he already smells.

Cooling smoke.

"Just... drive," Yunho mumbles and San pats his thigh.

"Hey now, Yun. Chin up," San chuckles as he starts driving to Yeosang's house, "Aren't you excited for the game? Aaaaand-"

Yunho can almost hear the smirk in San's voice as he continues.

"There's always the afterparty... Are you going to come to this one now that you finally got a taste of what you've been missing, my favorite little choir boy. I bet one drink and you'd be singing up a storm about Christ or some shit," San laughs, patting Yunho's thigh with one hand.

Yunho shakes his head and wiggles his leg, "Hey, stop," Yunho groans, but one squeeze has Yunho laughing and curling up on the passenger seat, "Don't tickle me again or I'll make you turn this car around, San."

"Awwww, I'll only stop if you agree to come with me again," San tosses his cigarette butt out the window, "Come on, come on," He continues to squeeze Yunho's thigh once he pulls into Yeosang's driveway.

Yunho lifts his legs and starts childishly kicking at San, hitting the horn loudly in the process.

Well, that's one way to let Yeosang know we're here.

"I am _not_ going!" Yunho yells, biting down onto San's arm in an attempt for him to stop, "Yeosang will go with you, okay?"

"Sorry, I'll do what?" Yeosang's voice enters the car just as the door opens, "Don't sign me up for stuff, Yunho," he tsks.

San leans his head back to look at Yeosang, "Ah, you'll come with me, right, Yeo? I _am_ your ride, after all."

Yeosang hums, "I always go, don't I?"

"Ugh, yeah, but I never see you after we get there," San fake pouts as he starts driving to their college, "Who's the lucky person that always sweeps you up?"

Yeosang's eyes widen at the accusation, realizing his friends haven't ever really joked about him being with someone before. He wasn't ready with a response like he usually was. Not that he could be blamed, he was hungover like hell still.

"Don't bother with him, Yeosang. He's in rare form tonight," Yunho shakes his head once again before leaning it against the window.

"Come on, losers," San pats the top of his steering wheel, "Always bringing the mood down. We're going to watch the game, you should be excited. OH! Also, Yun, I brought it."

Yunho looks over at San in time to see his wink and motion towards the back of his car, and the look alone brings a wide smile to Yunho's face.

"God, what did you two do this time?" Yeosang sees the mischievous looks on his two friend's faces and he knows they're up to no good.

"Nothing bad," San says, "Just... Embarrassing," He chuckles, "You'll see, you'll see."

Yunho's mood instantly perked up, not that he was _actually_ upset at his best friend, but hearing that he remembered their plans for the game made him happier.

As they pull into the parking lot by the soccer field, Yunho is suddenly nervous. He hasn't seen Seonghwa since the other night when he... uh... Ripped the purity from himself and his squeaky clean image of Seonghwa from his mind. Every time he thinks of him now, he can't stop imagining him in compromising positions and it makes Yunho feel dirty.

"Earth to Yunho," San's voice pulls Yunho out of his thoughts and he looks at the opened car door to see San and Yeosang standing there waiting for him to get out, "Or are we gonna have to pull you out of the car?"

Yeosang chuckles but grabs his head afterward. This hangover is making him its bitch.

Yunho is blinded by the stadium lights as soon as they climb up the bleachers to find a good spot, San holding a giant rolled poster at his side, and Yeosang lagging behind a bit, having almost collided with one of the other students sitting down.

Not long after they sit down, the coach lifts a large bullhorn to his mouth.

" **ARE YOU ALL READY?** "

None of them were ready for what would happen that night.

**End of Chapter Twelve**


	14. Chapter Thirteen

Jongho puts his car in park in front of Wooyoung's house, and looks out at his house while he's in idle. Wooyoung told him that he would come out to him when they met briefly between classes and to not come knock on his door or honk. He said that he'd know when Jongho arrived and he didn't have to worry.

He was telling the truth.

Hardly a minute after Jongho got there, Wooyoung appeared. But... It wasn't from where Jongho thought someone would normally. He'd have expected Wooyoung to come from the front door of his house, but Wooyoung appeared from the side. It confused Jongho for a moment, but he brushes it off with the smile that comes to his face as soon as Wooyoung is in his view.

"Hey, Doll," Jongho smiles warmly at Wooyoung as he lifts himself into his truck, noticing how he instantly sighs in relaxation at the warmth that's coming from the heaters blasting on him.

"Ah, your car is _so_ warm," Wooyoung sinks back into the seat after he buckles himself in and he rests his cheek against the headrest, letting himself gaze at Jongho while he drives the two of them to their college.

Jongho takes a few glances at Wooyoung as he drives, admiring the way he looks in the black turtleneck he's wearing. He looks so handsome, it's going to be the death of Jongho. He sees the redness of Wooyoung's cheeks from the cold of the outdoors, and he's happy he can help make that beautiful boy warm again.

"I can't have you freezing to death on me, now can I?" Jongho chuckles, "What did you do today?"

Wooyoung subconsciously picks at the skin around his fingernails, "I just stayed in my room with Pita and worked on homework. Little thing kept trying to play with my pencils," Wooyoung giggles at the thought of his cat pawing them around on the floor, "I had to give him one just to keep him occupied while I finished."

"Being a pain like usual," Jongho jokes, "So what homework were you working on? Mr. Future Vet."

"Hey, _Farmer_ , don't tease me! It was something for one of my mathematics classes," Wooyoung huffs, "I will barely even need math in my field... I just want to focus on my Science classes, but every semester, a maths course seems to sneak its way into my schedule."

Jongho laughs, "Hey, you need maths, Woo."

"Says who," Wooyoung crosses his arms in a fake pout, enjoying being able to act so childish like this. He's slowly coming to terms with his attachment to the freshman, much to his dismay. He worries he's going to ask to come into his home, or anything surrounding that.

"Says me," Jongho insists, "It's important, I promise you. I wouldn't lie," He looks over and winks, having picked up the habit from his brother.

"That sounds like something a liar would say."

"Oh hush, Dollface," Jongho can't rid his face from the big smile that's painted there. It's almost making his cheeks hurt, "So Pita gets to live his best life playing while his dad has to slave over his _horrendous_ math homework," Jongho fakes sympathizes, "Ah, my poor boy..."

"Hey! I'll get out of this car right now," Wooyoung gently pushes Jongho's arm, barely moving him, "As for your information, yes, Pita lives a life of luxury. I go out of my way to get him the best cat food out there," He says matter-of-factly.

"I've got to meet Pita sometime," Jongho says softly, "He sounds very spoiled, and extremely loved, knowing his owner."

Wooyoung stills, but just nods, "Sometime..." he mumbles, shifting his eyes out the window, before trying to bring the conversation back, "So, country boy, will anyone you know be there tonight?"

Jongho laughs at Wooyoung's nickname for him, "Well, my brother is definitely going, and with San comes Yunho and Yeosang. San left a little before me to pick the two up, so we can sit with them if you'd like."

"Yunho's the really tall one, right?" Wooyoung asks for clarification, remembering when they all met in the woods that evening. It was a bit hard to see everyone in the darkness, but Wooyoung did his best to memorize each of them, knowing they'll inevitably become important people in his life this semester.

He's heard around campus that Seonghwa and Mingi are on the soccer team, and it makes Wooyoung excited to actually watch them play. Wooyoung shivers a little at the thought of Seonghwa and the night that he took his photo in the back of his silver Mercedes. He gently rubs his arms as he thinks of it, trying to ease the hairs that start to stand straight up.

He hated how exposed he felt in that moment with Seonghwa.

But he also felt a sense of comfort in someone _knowing._

"Yeah, that's right," Jongho smiles, "You'd probably become close friends with him, he's a good kid."

"Are you saying I'm a 'good kid'?" Wooyoung smirks.

"Mmm, I'd say so. You're like a little doll," Jongho parks his truck and looks over at Wooyoung, "You're so flawless, it's hard to see you as anything other than good," Jongho's warm smile returns as he glazes over Wooyoung's blushed face, loving the beauty mark beneath Wooyoung's right eye. Beautiful.

Wooyoung's heart aches at Jongho's words, feeling his eyes go glossy at the compliments he's receiving, and suddenly he's shying away from Jongho's eyes, "Ah, don't look at me so closely like that," He whines, "You're going to make me melt."

Wooyoung unbuckles himself, thinking about what Jongho said about him being good and _flawless_.

If only he knew, Wooyoung thinks to himself.

Jongho puffs out his lips, "Come on, Doll, let's go get good seats," Jongho was already out of the car and on the passenger side with the door open to help Wooyoung get down.

Wooyoung takes Jongho's hands as he hops down from the truck and he's back in the cold, instantly feeling the chill through his turtleneck and jacket.

Wait, the jacket.

"Jongho, I never gave you your jacket back when you dropped me off," Wooyoung looks up, about to take it off, but Jongho places his hand gently atop his.

"It's okay, Woo, it looks better on you," Jongho smiles, his eyes closing and his gums on display.

Wooyoung can feel the warmth on his cheeks from the comment, and he just shyly nods. He can't lie... He did sleep in the jacket every night since Jongho had loaned it to him. It had that comforting smell that Jongho reeked of. The smell of freshly-cut grass and outdoors that Wooyoung adored. When Wooyoung wasn't wearing it, Pita was nuzzled inside of it, so it surely had cat hair covering it already. Wooyoung just couldn't bring himself to wash it just yet.

"I can't just take your jacket forever, Jongho," Wooyoung says softly.

"Why not?"

Wooyoung doesn't have a good enough answer for that, all he can come up with is, "It's not mine."

"Well, it is now."

And that ended that. Wooyoung smiled to himself as he pulled on either side of the jacket to further envelope himself within it. He was now the proud owner of the warmest and nicest jacket he's ever had. He would cherish it forever. The faded burgundy color, the softly matted fur-lining, the strong musk that covers it in its entirety.

Wooyoung followed Jongho closely as they entered the small stadium and into the bleachers, eventually settling down on a row that's the highest up. Jongho insisted that it's the best seat because they'll be able to see everything. Wooyoung couldn't argue with that one, not that he would. He was already confident in Jongho's decision-making ability.

"Did you get your mission?" Jongho asks in a more hushed tone, not that they're too close to any of the other students.

Wooyoung nods, "Mhm, didn't you? Are you nervous about it?"

Jongho sighs and rubs his forehead at the thought of the mission he got, "You could say that..." Jongho runs his hand through his hair, slightly pulling on it in order to relieve some of the stress he's feeling over it, "I just... I hope it'll be okay, you know?"

Wooyoung turns his whole body towards Jongho, "Is it that bad?" He asks, his voice still just above a whisper.

Jongho digs into his pocket and pulls out the crumpled paper, having been carrying it around in hopes that it'll ease his feelings about it.

Wooyoung takes the paper and opens it up, flattening it against his jeans to read what it has to say.

_MISSION #1:_ **_Choi Jongho_ **

_Get wasted at the next soccer game's afterparty._

_(Proof is unneeded, as all leaders of Twilight will be present)_

Wooyoung cringes slightly at the thought of alcohol, but he looks back up at Jongho, knowing that to the average person it's not too terrible of a mission to receive. He thinks about it more and realizes that means tonight is when he has to do it, and Wooyoung's feeling rather uneasy. He doesn't want to see Jongho drunk... He doesn't want to even be around the cursed liquid.

"It's not all that bad," Wooyoung mumbles, trying not to show his real feelings. He pushes them down as he continues to speak, "Mine is kind of dangerous..."

Jongho listens to Wooyoung and he tries to tell himself that Woo's right, it's not _that_ bad. If he wasn't himself, that would be true.

"Dangerous?" Jongho instead questions.

"They want me to steal-" Wooyoung's sentence is interrupted by a loud yell coming from the bottom of the bleachers.

"HEY, SHITHEAD," San yells out to his brother and the kid he's been unable to stop talking about to him, but mostly to his brother. San drags Yunho and Yeosang up the bleachers to sit down beside Jongho and Wooyoung.

Jongho groans, shoving the piece of paper back into his pocket and looking at Wooyoung with a pleading face. It makes Wooyoung giggle, finding their brotherly relationship endearing. He wished he had a brother.

"Get up here!" Jongho laughs, patting the spot next to him for his brother and his friends to sit. He's glad that in college, they've been closer. It reminds Jongho of when they were little and didn't have as much going on or to worry about.

Wooyoung smiles when he sees Yunho and Yeosang, "Are you guys excited about the game?" He asks, feeling his heart light up even more now that he's surrounded by people he wants to become close friends with. He wonders if he could busy himself with them instead of going so hard into his studies like he normally does. Wooyoung wants to get close to them all.

Yunho nods cheerfully, "For sure! I can't wait to see Mingi in action, and of course, Seonghwa, too!"

Yeosang snickers as he sits down, lifting up the bottom of his shirt a bit to reveal the top of a silver bottle tucked into the waistband of his pants, "Hell yeah," he relaxes back into the seat, laying his back against the chain-link fence behind them.

Wooyoung shifts rather uncomfortably at the sight of what he knew was a flask, but he brushes it off and starts listening to Jongho and San's conversation that soon gets interrupted by a new voice.

"Got room for one more?"

Yeosang looks up to see Hongjoong and his heart stutters more than he knows his voice would if he were to talk. He just nods and Wooyoung speaks up for them, having no weird feelings about Hongjoong to stop him, "Yeah, sit with us, Hongjoong," He smiles.

Hongjoong takes his seat beside Yeosang and side-eyes him with a warm smile.

San, Yunho, and Jongho all notice how Hongjoong isn't acting like his more commonly sinister self, instead replacing that person with a normal student like them -- if they could really call themselves 'normal' after what this semester will entail.

" **SNU gets first kick-off!** "

With that, the game begins, in SNU's favor.

**End of Chapter Thirteen**


	15. Chapter Fourteen

Mingi slides his uniform shorts onto his fit body, eyeing Seonghwa beside him who's already dressed and ready to go on the field.

"I'm going to be counting on you to play off of me, alright, Song?" Seonghwa rests back against the lockers as he discusses his game plans with, who he now refers to as, the best player other than himself. Every practice they've had, Mingi has impressed Seonghwa even further.

"You can count on me," Mingi mumbles as he pulls his shirt over his head, tucking it into his shorts snuggly, "Are we planning anything special for this game?" He wonders, wanting to know if Seonghwa said that aloud for a certain reason, since Mingi always just assumed he would be playing off of Seonghwa anyway. Their play dynamic matches well together, and they end up doing it anyway without and words being exchanged like this.

Seonghwa nods once, seeing that majority of the other boys are huddled up together talking about who-knows-what, so his voice turns quieter, "I got a tip from Twilight alumni that there's going to be a national recruiter there tonight," He says smoothly, "While I won't be able to accept any offers, I know you'd be able to," He winks when he sees Mingi look up to him, "What? Did you already get word from your father?"

Mingi's eyes widen slightly, always being impressed with the knowledge Seonghwa possesses surrounding his life. He knows it must be the same for the others and that Hongjoong and Seulgi must know the same information, but it doesn't make it any less unsettling.

"He hadn't mentioned anything..." Mingi mumbles, sitting down to tie his laces tightly before he double knots them, "I've had national eyes on me since I was young," he sighs.

"Of course, but they can't offer you anything just because your father is a big sponsor," Seonghwa chuckles, "His money can only get you so far before your pure skills and abilities must kick in, as I'm sure you know."

Mingi rests back on his hands, looking up at a still-standing Seonghwa, "I'm sure _you know_ that it's never been about my father's money."

Seonghwa's smirk returns easily and he winks once again, "Money could never buy raw potential, Mingi. Once that recruiter can jot down your performance and take it back to the national team's council, you'll be a shoo-in after you graduate. It'll be the easiest ride of your life."

"I don't know..." Mingi murmurs, having thought about it extensively over the years of his father pestering him about it. He hates the clouded insecurity of his future he's plagued himself with. Seonghwa's right. It _could_ be so easy for him, yet here he is still unsure about his future and what he could do.

Being a national player could secure his financial future, sure, but does Mingi want that? He just doesn't know.

Everyone's always told him how easy it can be for him, but is it really that easy?

He could belong to the national team, find belonging in it, but is that really what he wants to do for the rest of his life...?

Being a floater has always caused his mind so much unnecessary stress and he wants to talk to someone about it, he wants someone to understand how he's feeling even if they just pretend to.

"Seonghwa-" Mingi starts, but the team is already rushing out of the locker room, Seonghwa's hand on his shoulder to bring him.

"We'll talk later, yeah?" Seonghwa asks, having seen the conflict going on in Mingi's mind, "Just play your best, don't stress."

Don't stress.

_Don't stress._

" **SNU gets first kick-off!** "

They've already started the game off lucky by the coin toss being in their favor as it so often has been this season. Mingi positions himself and is readily splitting his focus between Seonghwa and the rest of the field, being ready at any moment.

꘎ ♡ ━ ꘎ ━ ♡ ꘎

The game just entered half-time and Yeosang already was pulling out his flask from his waistband, chuckling as he looked up at San who's already focused on the liquor-filled metal. He can't think of a better way to cure his lingering hangover than more alcohol to numb his feelings.

Yeosang takes a long swig before San sneakily takes one as well, having already sneaked a cig only twenty minutes into the first half.

Wooyoung shifts again when he sees Yeosang and San drinking, keeping his eyes down on the bottom of the bleachers. He's startled when he feels a hand squeeze his shoulder, looking up to see Jongho's comforting smile.

"Want to go to concessions with me?" Jongho asks, already standing up.

Wooyoung nods quickly, feeling thankful for his new friend in that moment, and he stands up to follow Jongho down the stairs to the concession stands where they're selling food and drinks.

Just before they're about to get in line, Jongho pulls Wooyoung aside with a soft voice, "Are you doing okay, Doll?" He asks, noticing the way Wooyoung would look away and shift after Yeosang pulled out his flask. He noticed the same thing when he read what his mission was.

Wooyoung is about to nod out of habit, but he stops himself and shakes his head, "I just don't really like being around alcohol, it makes me feel uneasy. People being intoxicated isn't any better," He tries to laugh, but it's more awkward than anything.

Jongho carefully rubs Wooyoung's upper arms and he can't see the wince he makes since his head is still hung low, "Hey, Woo, it's okay... Do you want to sit somewhere else? Or would you prefer me to take you home?" He asks, wanting Wooyoung to be comfortable.

Wooyoung looks up at Jongho and shakes his head quickly, "No, no, it's okay! I just... I don't know," He sighs, "I want to stay with you and everyone, I just don't know what kind of drunks they are," he mumbles, wrapping Jongho's jacket tighter around himself.

Jongho smiles and moves one of his hands up to Wooyoung's hair, giving it a small ruffle, "Hey, you can depend on me, Woo. I'll always protect you, yeah? They're... enhanced versions of themselves when they're drunk," he finds a string of words to describe his brother and friends, settling on that, "They're much more loud and silly. Yunho doesn't drink, and I won't be until later tonight... You could stay with Yunho when that happens," Jongho suggests, trying to make Wooyoung as comfortable as possible.

Wooyoung nods, smiling at Jongho's worried suggestions, it makes him feel warm and fuzzy inside to know Jongho seems to care a lot about his feelings.

"We'll see," Wooyoung says softly, "Let's go get some food," He giggles, falling back into his more playful self after Jongho talking him down. He can't get over what Jongho said about always protecting him. Is he serious about that? Wooyoung wonders as they get in line together.

"Have I told you how handsome you look tonight?" Jongho asks, unable to keep his compliments to himself.

"Ah," Wooyoung blushes deeply, "You're not so bad yourself," He smiles, looking up at Jongho, catching his eyes before the woman running concessions clears her voice.

"Ughhhh, finally you two are back, I'm _starving!_ " San whines, taking a handful of fries from the boat that Jongho's holding.

The flask is away when they get back to their friends, and it makes Wooyoung much more comfortable, but he can see the glaze over Yeosang's eyes when he looks at him. He sees the way his hands can't stop messing with Hongjoong's arms, and how Hongjoong doesn't make any moves to stop him -- it actually looks like he's entertaining it. Wooyoung shifts his eyes away from them and back down to his food, not wanting to be caught staring at their little movements he's sure they thought no one would see.

"San, I never said I was getting you food," Jongho groans, "Yunho deserves it way more than you," He laughs, giving Yunho the boat of fries that are slightly smashed now from San's grabby hands.

"Fuck you," San hisses and lays his head against Yunho's shoulder, "Yun, you'll feed me, right?" He pouts, puffing out his bottom lip as he looks up at his best friend.

Yunho narrows his eyes playfully, "What happened to those fries you already stole?"

"I inhaled them," San huffs, and just as he's about to protest about the food again, the whistle blows and the guys are running back onto the field.

"They're coming back, it's time to get out the sign," Yunho says excitedly, motioning for San to grab the rolled-up poster they made together.

San unrolls it haphazardly and stands up in the stands, climbing onto the bleacher seat with Yunho, the two of them holding either side of the poster so it's visible from the field.

"MINGI!" San and Yunho yell out as loud as they can, "SEONGHWA!"

They see their two friends' little heads turn towards the stands to see them and laugh when they see the encouraging sign Yunho and San made for them.

**KICK THEIR ASSES**

**SONG MINGI & PARK SEONGHWA'S**

**#1 SUPPORTERS**

San laughs loudly when he sees the SNU coach going over to the fenced-in bleachers they're in, "CHOI SAN, PUT THAT SIGN DOWN," The coach growls out.

"SUCK MY ASS, COACH HWANG," San yells back at him, his buzzed mind taking over. He laughs harder, looking over at an embarrassed-face Yunho. When he turns back to the field, he sees the coach coming into the stands, and San's eyes widen," Oh shit," He mumbles and quickly takes down the sign, rolling it up, "Shit, shit, shit," He jumps down from the bleacher seat and rushes across, calling back to his friends, "I'll see you guys at the party, okay?!"

Yunho shakes his head and sits back down, "San..." He sighs and Jongho pats Yunho's back.

"There's not much you can do about him, you know that, Yun."

"I know, I know..." Yunho mumbles, but then he gasps, "Wait, San's my ride.

Yeosang giggles loudly, his tipsy self much more laid back than he is when sober, "Guess you'll be coming to the party after all, eh?"

Yunho rolls his eyes and crosses his arms, "Let's just watch the game."

**End of Chapter Fourteen**


	16. Chapter Fifteen

"Congratulations, man!" Hongjoong hugs Seonghwa while Yunho and Yeosang group hug Mingi beside them. Yeosang's drunken cheers are trying to be calmed down by Jongho as Wooyoung hovers closely behind him.

Seonghwa chuckles and his mouth rests into a smirk, "Hey, couldn't have done it without this kid," He slings his arm around Mingi with a big pat on the back.

"Let me take a photo for you, baby," Seulgi says as she pulls out her phone, snapping a picture of Seonghwa and Mingi with their hair still wet from their after-game showers and big smiles on their faces. Seonghwa comes over and peeks at the photo she took of them, planting a kiss on the side of her cheek since they're in public.

"I'll see you at the party, right?" Seonghwa asks and Seulgi giggles and nods, "And I assume you already have a ride?" She nods again with a knowing look and Seonghwa returns her nod. No one ever suspects anything when Seulgi and Joy are together, even when they arrive at parties together. Seonghwa has made it a common habit to come with his teammates, and no one's said anything. It's what a good captain would do anyway, right?

Seulgi blows a kiss as she runs off towards the parking lot, "I'll see you losers soon!" She calls out and laughs loudly as she sits in the passenger side of Joy's yellow Camaro.

Yunho unconsciously bites on his bottom lip as he watches their interaction, his nervousness only going down when he watches Seonghwa's beautiful girlfriend leave them all.

What is he doing? What is he thinking?

Seonghwa looks over at Yunho and Yunho quickly looks away, but he's not lucky enough to be off the hook yet.

"Hey, no congratulations for me, Angel?" Seonghwa smirks as he gets closer to him, his nickname coming out as if he's called him that for years. Yeosang, Wooyoung, and Jongho are all talking to Mingi about the incredible goal he got at the beginning of the second half.

Yunho crosses his arms and tries to look anywhere but Seonghwa, "Congratulations," he mumbles shyly, "You played really well, Seonghwa."

"Aw, that's what I was looking for," Seonghwa ruffles Yunho's brown hair up, "Where's your little lover at, now? I saw your sign," He smiles, resting his hands on his hips as he stands closer than Yunho would like at the moment. This is all he needs, Yunho thinks to himself. He's so close...

"M-My what?" Yunho uncrosses his arms as he takes a step back, his cheeks heating up as soon as he looks up to meet Seonghwa's eyes already staring at him with fondness.

"San."

Yunho twirls a small piece of his hair between his fingers as he looks off towards the parking lot, "He ran out after the coach was coming into the stands after him," He holds back a giggle, "He's probably hiding out in the parking lot or already at wherever the party is going to be."

Seonghwa admires the cute way Yunho's acting, taking note of all of his habits and mannerisms, "And what about you, Angel? Are you going to the party?" His voice gets a little lower.

"I-" Yunho coughs, clearing his throat, "Well, uhm... San is my ride, so... I have to at least go to find him."

"Is that right?" Seonghwa chuckles again, "I could always take you home, you know," He suggests, "But I'd really like it if you went to the afterparty. It's going to be a good one," He winks.

Yunho looks back up at Seonghwa in time to catch his wink, feeling his chest flare up with butterflies like it used to in the early days of crushing on San.

And that's it.

Yunho's going to the afterparty.

꘎ ♡ ━ ꘎ ━ ♡ ꘎

Jongho turns towards Wooyoung, "Are you sure you really want to go to the party, Woo?" He asks worriedly, but Wooyoung's already made up his mind.

So many people will be at this party, so Wooyoung is confident that _he_ will be there. His pocket burns where he had put his mission paper after receiving it.

_MISSION #1:_ **_Jung Wooyoung_ **

_Steal Lee Minho's car keys._

_(Bring proof to the next Twilight meeting)_

"I'm sure," Wooyoung smiles, "Besides, I'll be with you, right?"

Jongho blushes and nods, "Of course, Doll. If you want to go home at any time before I start my mission, then please tell me," He says as they walk back to his white pickup, his mind going over a thought that he's almost too nervous to ask.

Almost.

"We could," Jongho sniffles from the cold, "Always just stay the night there and I could take you home tomorrow morning," Jongho asks, feeling Wooyoung's eyes glued to him.

Wooyoung smiles and leans his head against Jongho's, "We could," He says softly against his jacket and then giggles on his way to the passenger side.

Jongho is thankful that Wooyoung didn't take that in the wrong way he was hoping he wouldn't. He didn't... Right? Jongho continues to overthink his question as he buckles himself into the driver's seat. Wooyoung agreed to stay the night with him.

Holy shit, Wooyoung agreed to stay the night with him?

Jongho's whole face must be beet red by this point and it's confirmed by Wooyoung's quiet laughter from the other side of the car.

"Don't think you're getting into my pants, now," Wooyoung says so nonchalantly that Jongho has to swallow before he can look over at him with embarrassed eyes.

"Ah, no, I wasn't-" Jongho starts.

"Mmmhmm," Wooyoung laughs even more as he teases Jongho, "Let's go! Before I change my mind," He ends, smiling rather sinisterly. The amusement coating Jongho's own face is something he could get used to if he always gets flustered like this over the subtle flirting they're doing.

Jongho turns on the radio so it plays lowly, trying to ease his own embarrassed atmosphere, "Is this your first party, Wooyoung?" He decides to ask, bringing the tension between them back down.

"Well, I've been to a few birthday parties back in grade school," Wooyoung says, but then giggles a bit, "Don't you dare laugh."

Jongho can't help but cough out a chuckle, "That's adorable, Doll..." Jongho smiles warmly to himself as he focuses on the road, thinking about how precious and pure Wooyoung is in his eyes. He wishes nothing more than to show him even more of the beauties of the world.

A comfortable silence surrounds them for a majority of the drive as both boys are lost in their own thoughts that are mostly about each other.

Wooyoung can't stop looking over at Jongho, loving the way he pushes his black hair back as he drives. He looks down at his hands and sees the picked at beds by his nails, starting to wonder if Jongho would mind them if they ever held hands and his fingers brushed over the rough surface. Wooyoung peeks at Jongho's hands and blushes at the muscular look of them, knowing how much lifting he must have to do at his family's farm.

He wonders if he would ever get to visit and see Jongho at work. The thought of it makes him feel all warm and fuzzy inside.

"You okay, Doll?" Jongho asks as he parks outside the large house, gently placing his hand over one of Wooyoung's.

Goosebumps instantly cover Wooyoung's arms, and he's never been more thankful for the jacket over his body. He doesn't think he's ever been this warm before. Wooyoung looks up at Jongho, remembering his worried-sounding question, "Yes, yes, I'm okay. I was just thinking."

"About what?" Jongho smiles when he sees that Wooyoung is in fact okay, and that he's not pulling his hand away. He softly rubs his thumb along the tops of each of Wooyoung's fingers, "What's that beautiful mind of yours got going on?"

"I was thinking about you..." Wooyoung says quietly, looking up to meet Jongho's eyes from across the car, "A-About holding your hand and... And how my chest tightens up when you look at me," He says, near breathlessly. The warm air from the heater is still blasting on them from Jongho keeping the car in idle to keep them toasty.

Jongho's cheeks heat up at Wooyoung's sweet words and he finds himself leaning over the center console, lifting his hand that's not holding Wooyoung's to his cheek to caress carefully.

"Is that so?" He starts to tilt his head and grows even more confident when Wooyoung slowly tilts his as well and squeezes the hold he has on his hand.

Jongho inches closer and closer to Wooyoung, letting his eyes flutter closed, his heart pounding hard in his chest.

_Bang, bang, bang!_

"Hey, shithead, get out of your hotbox-ass truck and come to the party!" San's loud voice yells from outside the truck after hitting on the driver's side door with his fist a few times.

Jongho and Wooyoung startle away from each other rather embarrassedly and Jongho coughs, "So, uh, the party, yeah?"

"Yeah," Wooyoung agrees, his face surely tomato red as he climbs down from the truck to land right by Jongho's side. He weasels his hand right back into Jongho's and squeezes tightly, Jongho walking just a little bit faster than him.

"Jongho?"

Jongho stops and turns back to Wooyoung only to have lips pressed against his -- Wooyoung's lips. He's shocked at first, but he melts into the kiss easily, parting slowly after a few moments.

Wooyoung giggles with a big smile on his face, "I wasn't letting that chance get away from us," He says airily, his breath visible in the cold night air.

Jongho smiles and moves Wooyoung's hair back behind his ear, "I'm glad," he whispers before he places a tender kiss on Wooyoung's forehead.

Music is already booming when they eventually enter the house party -- more like a mansion party in Wooyoung's eyes. His eyes go wide as he looks around, but he shifts his eyes down to his and Jongho's hands clasped together when he sees the alcohol-filled cups and clearly already tipsy people crowded together.

Jongho leads Wooyoung through the crowds and tries not to think about his mission, growing more and more nervous about it as time ticks by. He gives Wooyoung's hand a squeeze to help himself calm down just a little bit.

"Jongho?" Wooyoung looks up at him, willing him to turn towards him once again, "Do you know who Lee Minho is?"

Jongho struggles to conceal the roll in his eyes at Wooyoung's question, "President of the student government at SNU, yeah I know of him... He's also Professor Lee's younger brother if you can imagine that. Why?" He says. Jongho's heard San complain about the kid too many times for him to not know nearly everything about him, but why is Wooyoung asking about him? He's surprised he doesn't already know him.

Wooyoung drags Jongho to a corner of whatever room they're in where there are not as many people, speaking in a hushed tone, "I have to steal his car keys... Do you think he will be here tonight?"

"You have to what?" Jongho chuckles, "Oh, that's great. Hmm..." He thinks for a moment, looking behind them at the party-goers, "I'd say there's a good chance he's here, Woo. He wouldn't miss an opportunity to spy on the student body in their natural habitat."

Wooyoung's body eases, suddenly feeling like his mission might not be as hard as it seemed when he first read it. He didn't even know who's name was written there when he received the task.

"Do you think it'll be hard? To get them, I mean...?" Wooyoung asks, happy that Jongho is here with him for encouragement and to help him out the best he can.

"Well, since you didn't know his name, he might not know you that well. He tries to get in good with all the students in our year, but there's so many that it's understandable he hasn't gotten to you yet. He wouldn't be as likely to figure out it was you who took them," Jongho's mind is going a mile a minute as he thinks over the possibilities, "But... Actually getting them is probably going to be rather difficult. He doesn't usually drink at parties and he's not the type to put his keys in the key jar when he comes in."

"So he'll have them on his body?" Wooyoung asks, suddenly becoming hyper-aware of how he and Jongho probably look to others at the party. They're pressed up against the way in a corner, Jongho's body shielding most of Wooyoung's. Who knows what they could be doing.

Jongho nods, "That's right."

The door to the house opens with a gust of cold air and a groan from one of the guys that's already almost falling over drunk, "Ugh, not _that_ prick!"

Jongho and Wooyoung turn around to see who it is, and just their luck, it's none other than Lee Minho.

Wooyoung watches him carefully, remembering how Jongho said he never puts his keys in the jar to prevent drunk driving, and he sees his hand come out from his back pocket after he hands his jacket to someone.

Bingo.

The plan forms in his mind instantly, not having to think too heavily about it when he notices how Minho's eyes linger longer on the guys of the party rather than the girls as he makes his way around.

Wooyoung gives Jongho a big smile and squeeze of the hand before he ducks out from under him and he goes over to tap on Minho's shoulder, "Hey," Wooyoung says in his sweetest voice when Minho turns around to face him, his nose scrunching up when he sees Wooyoung's unfamiliar face.

"What do you want?" Minho asks, venom present in his tone, his mean demeanor showing itself immediately upon meeting.

Wooyoung's surprised to hear him speak like this, having expected a different type of person to be the president of the college's student government. He straightens his back, not backing down just yet, "I wanted to talk," He smiles, adding a teasing flare to the word 'talk' when he speaks.

"Yeah?" Minho scoffs, crossing his arms as he leans back against one of the tables that has some couple laid on top, making out like no one else is around, "About what?" He narrows his eyes at Wooyoung, taking in his appearance and the way he carries himself. He's pretty, he'll give him that, but he has this aura that makes Minho feel wary. The wariness doesn't draw away from the attractive confidence that Wooyoung exudes though.

Wooyoung lays on the charm just as he does when he's out in Itaewon, getting a little closer to Minho, "About me and you," He smiles a wide eye-smile, and he can almost feel Lee Minho falling into his trap.

Minho cocks an eyebrow and a smirk settles onto his lips, "Is that right?" He wonders if the stranger in front of him is drunk, but the soberness is visible in his eyes, depleting that thought. So he's genuinely coming onto him? Minho takes the last step towards Wooyoung, his arms encircling his neck as he brings his face down.

Without any other unnecessary words, their lips collide and don't make moves to part anytime soon. Their kiss gets heated quickly and Wooyoung makes it a habit to rub up and down Minho's back, lingering on the lower portion before grabbing handfuls of his ass. He can't make any action of his to clue Minho in on the fact that he's just trying to get into that back pocket to slip out his keys.

Minho is biting down on Wooyoung's bottom lip when Wooyoung carefully slides his finger through the keyring and slides the car keys out of his prey's jeans.

"Minho, get over here! I think your jacket's on fire, man!" Jongho's voice calls through the loud crowd and Minho quickly parts from the kiss just as Wooyoung tucks the keys into his own jacket pocket.

"Fuck, _what?_ " Minho seethes and turns away to go towards the sound of the voice, "Who in the _fuck?_ "

Wooyoung snickers to himself as he goes over to Jongho, bouncing up and down on his heels with glee over his completed mission, "I did it, I did it!" He cheers, his smile huge and eyes tightly closed until he settles himself and opens them to see Jongho smiling back at him. He can tell the smile isn't as happy as his though.

Jongho watches as Wooyoung's giddiness threatens to override his own jealousness. He can't help it. He didn't expect Wooyoung to do _that_.

"Thank you so so much for that getaway card!" Wooyoung wraps his arms around Jongho and squeezes tightly, "That was the most perfect timing I've ever seen, Jongie."

Jongho's heart clenches at the nickname and he feels the way his body heats up as Wooyoung's wrapped around him. His jealousy still reigns in the back of his mind, realizing that he doesn't know Wooyoung as well as he thought he did. He's full of surprises, it seems.

Wooyoung doesn't think anything of his actions as he's used to using his assets to get things he wants or needs. It's how it's always been for him and he doesn't find anything wrong with it, but he's never had to stop and think how those actions might affect others.

Wooyoung can't rid the unhappy smile that Jongho gave him from his mind, though. He didn't like the feeling that look gave him. He had to think about if he did something wrong, and he couldn't think of anything himself, so he decides to ask Jongho.

"Jongho did I make you-"

"Hey, losers, want to play a game?" A teasing voice with a shit-eating grin to match comes up to them and Seulgi is standing there when they turn.

**End of Chapter Fifteen**


	17. Chapter Sixteen

Hongjoong can feel the shaking of Yeosang's hands not long after they arrive at the afterparty, so he carefully leads him through the crowds and up the stairs.  
  
  


Yeosang squeezes Hongjoong's hand, keeping his head down in hopes that not many people are looking at them going upstairs together. He couldn't get his hand out of Hongjoong's grasp if he wanted to, which he didn't, he was only trying to help him.  
  
  


He cares...  
  
  


Hongjoong leads the two of them into a vacant room and closes the door behind them before he walks over to the bed in the center of the room. Yeosang sits down slowly on the edge of the bed, looking up at Hongjoong with hazy eyes.  
  
  


"Are you alright, my love? I could feel your hands shaking... We don't have to be here, you know," Hongjoong says as he kneels down in front of Yeosang, taking his face into his hands tenderly.  
  
  


"I'm okay," Yeosang swallows, studying Hongjoong's worried face, "I just..." He subconsciously feels for his flask that he had tucked into his waistband, but it's no longer there. Yeosang curses under his breath, knowing that San likely snagged it from him before he ran off at the game.  
  
  


Hongjoong rubs his thumb under Yeosang's eye, noticing he put his usual makeup on to cover his birthmark, "Don't worry, baby... We're alone here, okay?" Hongjoong tries to calm Yeosang's nerves, as he can practically hear how fast his heart is pounding. He knows all that alcohol can't be good for his love's body.  
  
  


Yeosang tries to ease his mind, trying to not think of what happened last night or the fact of _that_ day coming up. He relaxes under Hongjoong's touch, "I'm sorry..." He whispers.  
  
  


Hongjoong gently rubs off the makeup that covers one of his favorite parts about Yeosang, "Don't apologize to me, my love," Hongjoong places his lips against the uncovered mark, "Just listen to my voice, okay?" He lets his forehead rest against Yeosang's, their eyes meeting in the middle.  
  
  


Yeosang subtly nods, "O-Okay," He breathes out, the air hot against Hongjoong's face. Yeosang closes his eyes for a few moments to clear his mind, listening to the sweet words that Hongjoong whispers to him while he does so. His fast heartbeat stays constant, but it's cause shifts from his intrusive thoughts to the man in front of him.  
  
  


"You're so beautiful... You're brilliant, did you know that, Yeosang?" Hongjoong feathers kisses along the side of Yeosang's face, "A beautiful man with an equally beautiful mind... And don't get me started on your heart," Hongjoong smiles against Yeosang's smooth skin, running his hand through his light brown locks.  
  
  


Yeosang blushes from the compliments, his skin starting to tingle beneath Hongjoong's delicate touch. He slowly scoots back on the bed, allowing for Hongjoong to get up there with him, which he does without hesitation.  
  
  


Hongjoong finds his place between Yeosang's legs, their chests flush against one another when their lips finally meet. Their tongues instantly find each other, loving the familiar sweet taste.  
  
  


"H-Hongjoong," Yeosang whispers airly, his legs snaking around Hongjoong's torso as he bites down on Hongjoong's bottom lip before licking over it. His hands fiddle with the front of Hongjoong's shirt, internally cursing him for wearing a button-down of all things as he undoes the majority of it.  
  
  


Hongjoong parts from Yeosang's lips for a moment to trail kisses down his neck where he sucks on the sweet spot where his neck and shoulder meet.  
  
  


Yeosang's neck arches back when Hongjoong begins to suck, but he brings it back to press his nose into Hongjoong's shoulder, inhaling his intoxicating scent.  
  
  


_Creak_   
  
  


Yeosang focuses his attention to where the creaking sound came from, looking out from behind Hongjoong's shoulder to the opening door of the room they're in.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


꘎ ♡ ━ ꘎ ━ ♡ ꘎  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


"Are you sure they went up here?"  
  
  


"I know they did, Hwa."  
  
  


Yunho turns back to Seonghwa with a shy smile as they walk up the stairs together, but he knows his eyes linger on Seonghwa's lips just a moment too long. He quickly turns back around and continues up until they get to the top, "Do you think they'll really want to play...?"  
  
  


Seonghwa smirks, "Hongjoong always plays, Angel. I don't believe I've seen Yeosang play before, even though most of the players are Twilight members, of course," He says, speaking freely now that they're upstairs. Only a few people scattered in the hallways, likely looking for rooms to take their nightly excursion into or looking for extra bathrooms.  
  
  


"Which room do you think they're in?" Yunho's head starts to turn towards Seonghwa again as he walks down the hallway, but he stops himself in time.  
  
  


"Take your pick," Seonghwa smiles amusingly, having noticed Yunho's unwillingness to look at him.  
  
  


Yunho rests his hand on one of the doorknobs and slowly turns it, opening it to see a couple making out on the bed, the one underneath's legs wrapped tightly around the one on top's torso. Yunho's face turns tomato red and his heart drops when the two break apart and he sees that Yeosang was one of them.  
  
  


Yeosang...?  
  
  


Yunho knew of Yeosang's feelings towards men, as little as he disclosed to him. It's mostly Yunho confiding in Yeosang rather than the other way around, but Yunho knew. What Yunho didn't know, however, was that Yeosang was actively participating in these sorts of relations. It surprised him, a hollowing in his chest forming from the shock.  
  
  


Yunho doesn't think about it anymore as he looks back at Seonghwa, who looks equally as surprised at what they found behind the door.  
  
  


"I-I..." Yunho starts, his voice wavering heavily as Hongjoong turns towards them, portions of his bare chest visible from the haphazardly unbuttoned shirt, "I'm so sorry... We'll leave you two alone," Yunho bows a few times, his actions quick as he shuts the door with a rather loud thud.  
  
  


"Hey, Angel, are you okay?" Seonghwa asks as they walk back down the hallway, stopping when Yunho slows and rests his back against the wall.  
  
  


Yunho maneuvers the small golden cross dangling from the chain around his neck, his chest feeling especially heavy. He looks up at Seonghwa as he plays with his necklace and nods, "Yeah... I'm okay, I'm just... Embarrassed, to be completely honest," Yunho coughs and looks away.  
  
  


Seonghwa smiles warmly at the shy boy in front of him, "Don't be shy, look at me," he says as if it's the easiest thing in the world for Yunho to do.   
  
  


Yunho crosses his arms, letting go of the necklace, and looks up at Seonghwa from beneath his lashes. He's smaller than him at the moment from his back pressed against the wall in a slouch. Yunho sees the smirk coming to the older boy's face and the way his eyes crinkle the slightest bit when his lips curl up.  
  
  


_He's so handsome._   
  
  


Yunho gulps as his eyes trail to Seonghwa's lips, remembering his first _and only_ kiss he's ever had. He's suddenly wanting another after all these years. Only this time, it's not from San.  
  
  


"W-We should get back down there and start the game, right?" Yunho stands back up straight and starts walking down the stairs, the air having become seemingly blocked from getting to his lungs after staring at Seonghwa for so long. It had really only been a few seconds max, but for Yunho, it felt like an eternity. He can hear Seonghwa chuckling and following him from behind.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


꘎ ♡ ━ ꘎ ━ ♡ ꘎  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Yeosang hugs his knees to his chest tightly as Hongjoong's arms also wrap around him in a warm embrace, soft lips being pressed to his temple, "It's okay, love... It's okay, it was just Seonghwa and Yunho..."  
  
  


"Y-You don't understand, Hongjoong," Yeosang sniffles, having become worked up again from the suddenness of his best friend walking in on him making out with a man along with Seonghwa, who might as well be a stranger to Yeosang's worried mind, "They _saw_ us. They saw us making out a-and who's to say Seonghwa won't tell? What is Yunho going to think..." He thinks aloud, his worries causing him to doubt his own best friend.  
  
  


Yeosang knows that Yunho wouldn't think poorly of him at all. Yunho has confided in him so many times about his crush on San, and Yeosang has always been supportive. He knows Yunho would be the same, as little as Yeosang talked about his romantic feelings. He dropped a few hints here and there, sure, but he never directly came out to Yunho.  
  
  


"Seonghwa isn't the type," Hongjoong whispers, making sure to keep his voice low against Yeosang's ear, "And you know that Yunho would never... It's just your dark mind working right now, my love. Don't let those thoughts overtake what you already know."  
  
  


Yeosang listens to Hongjoong's smooth voice and he looks up at him with red eyes and tear-stained cheeks, "I-I..." He wants to say he knows, but he can't seem to get the words out right now. All of these emotions are making it all the more obvious that Yeosang is indeed sobering up from his tipsiness at the soccer game, if he's not already completely absent of liquor in his veins.  
  
  


Yeosang's eyes flicker to the glass bottle of alcohol on the bedside table when Hongjoong releases him and sits back on the bed so he can uncurl himself. He can hear Hongjoong telling him it's okay and that he doesn't have to speak right now, but they don't fully register in his mind as he's focused on something else.  
  
  


Yeosang shakily starts to reach out towards the bedside table, but he hears Hongjoong's words drown out into nothing. He stopped talking. Yeosang looks up at him as his hand is still outstretched and he sees the solemn look stirring within those brown eyes he adores so much.  
  
  


He looks so sad...  
  
  


Yeosang looks back at the bottle and his shaking hand. He sniffles one more time before he tries to restrain himself and bring his arm back into his own chest.  
  
  


Self-control, Yeosang.  
  
  


When he finally rests his hand back into his lap with his other one, he stares down at them. The feeling of being sober and barely having a drink since the night before other than the little bit he had at the soccer game makes him scared. He's afraid of his own sober thoughts and feelings.  
  
  


"H-Hongjoong...?" Yeosang murmurs, only looking up at him when he hears a little sound come from Hongjoong's lips, "Kiss me."  
  
  


Hongjoong's surprised by Yeosang's request, but the way his chest explodes with emotion is enough to propel him forward. He carefully takes Yeosang's face in his hands and kisses him like it's the first time. With intent. With meaning. And most importantly, with love.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


꘎ ♡ ━ ꘎ ━ ♡ ꘎  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


When Yunho and Seonghwa get back, San, Mingi, Jongho, and Wooyoung are sitting in a circle. Seulgi and Joy are there, too, along with a few others that Yunho doesn't recognize.   
  
  


San and Mingi look up at Yunho with bright smiles and he sees that they saved him a spot next to them.  
  
  


"Where's Yeosang and Hongjoong?" Mingi asks.  
  
  


Yunho's eyes widen, "Oh, uhm, they didn't want to play this time," Yunho says quickly, hoping no more questions get asked.  
  
  


Seulgi gives Seonghwa a narrow-eyed look with a question of 'what happened?' but he only mouths 'later' back to her.  
  
  


"Those fucking pansies," San laughs, "They're going to miss out!"  
  
  


Seulgi's lips press into a thin line and he stands up, her lips soon curling up into an evil-looking smirk. Her skin-tight dress hugs her curves and she makes sure she gets the attention of everyone in the circle, ending off with a wink.  
  
  


"Shall we get this game started?"  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**End of Chapter Sixteen**


	18. Chapter Seventeen

Yunho is focused on San and Mingi talking about something mindlessly when the air stirs beside him, a soft thump of someone sitting down. Yunho doesn't have to look, but he does from curiosity, to find Seonghwa on the side of him.  
  
  


"Mind if I sit here?" Seonghwa smirks, giving Yunho a quick wink before he leans back on his hands and glances over at Seulgi on his other side.  
  
  


Yunho can feel the rosiness of his cheeks from Seonghwa deciding to sit beside him, but a strange feeling courses through his stomach when he sees Seulgi's head rest on Seonghwa's shoulder briefly as she says hello.  
  
  


"Not at all," Yunho mumbles and turns back to San and Mingi.  
  
  


"You're no pussy, are you, Min?" San laughs, referring to Yeosang and Hongjoong not wanting to play with them.  
  
  


"Hell no," Mingi snickers, "This will be nothing, I'm sure of it," A small smile settles onto his face at the new nickname and he's feeling so happy at this moment. San gave him a nickname just like how he calls Yunho 'Yun' more than his full name. He's actually merging into their friend group and he couldn't ask for anything more.  
  
  


"Ah, ah, ah," Seulgi rubs her chin, "It might be more risque than you're thinking," she looks over to one of the boys that Yunho doesn't recognize, "Chan, get the bottles and cups, please. Seonghwa, would you like to explain what it is we're going to play?" He asks sweetly.  
  
  


Seonghwa makes sure to eye everyone in the circle before he begins to speak, "It's truth or dare, but if you, for some reason, don't want to answer your truth or do your dare, you can drink a shot. We'll go around the circle spinning to see who it lands on, but just because you're the spinner, doesn't mean you have to ask truth or dare to that person. It's first come first serve."  
  
  


Jongho is slightly confused, so he speaks up, "So if the bottle lands on me, then anyone can ask me truth or dare?"  
  
  


"That's right."  
  
  


Joy smiles, "I'll spin first, you will get the hang of it as we go."  
  
  


Seulgi nods once Chan sets an empty bottle on the floor in the middle of them and spreads out a few of the full bottles of liquor along with red solo cups if anyone wants to pour their own rather than drink from the same bottles. He keeps a few shot glasses by his side as he sits back down.  
  
  


The circle went into quiet mumbles as Joy crawled onto her knees and leaned in to spin the bottle. Yunho felt nervous about the rules, wishing it was the spinner asking the questions instead of anyone. He was hoping if it landed on him that it would be someone close to him spinning so they wouldn't ask anything too difficult for him to answer or do.  
  
  


Yunho's breath caught in his throat as he saw the bottle slow down and stop facing him straight on.  
  
  


"Truth or dare?" Seonghwa spoke up first, as soon as the bottle stopped moving.  
  
  


Yunho slowly looked over at Seonghwa, his eyes no doubt looking full of as much fear as he's feeling, "T-Truth," he stutters out and feels embarrassed already for his misspeaking.  
  
  


Seonghwa thinks for a moment, looking at Yunho intensely as his mind turned over possible questions, "Who was your first love? Romantic love," He made sure to clarify, knowing that many people would weasel themselves out of actually answering truthfully.  
  
  


"I-" Yunho starts, and his gaze wants to tug towards San, but he knows it would be a dead giveaway so he sits there and looks down at the ground thinking. It won't be so bad to drink, right?  
  
  


San groans, "Seonghwa, Yunho's never had a relationship before. He obviously doesn't have a first love yet," He says, not meaning to embarrass his best friend by the words, but Yunho just shakes his head.  
  
  


"Give me the shot," Yunho mumbles and holds out his hand that is quickly filled by a shot glass full of an alcohol he couldn't distinguish from smell. He's never had a drink before aside from the small sips of red wine he had at church. Yunho downs it quickly, the liquid going down his throat smoothly with only a subtle afterburn.  
  
  


Seulgi giggles as she spins the bottle once more until it stops on San.  
  
  


Joy is the first to speak, "Truth or dare," and San smirks with a fast answer passing from his lips.  
  
  


"Dare, of course."  
  
  


Joy's eyes narrow as she looks at San, studying him before she picks a dare, "I dare you to strip down to your underwear for the rest of the game."  
  
  


San laughs out loud, "Damn bold of you to assume I'm even _wearing_ underwear," he lifts his shirt over his head, exposing his thin, yet fit, torso. As he's unbuttoning his jeans, he sighs, "You all are so fucking lucky I decided not to go commando today though," He stands up and strips his jeans down in one sweep before he steps out of them and flings them to who-knows-where.  
  
  


Mingi laughs at San's usual boldness and looks over to Yunho, assuming he'd be laughing too, but he's sitting there trying not to look at the amusing sight.  
  
  


"Let's keep this going, shall we?" Seonghwa spins the bottle, it landing on Wooyoung.  
  
  


Wooyoung looks over at Jongho, a nervous smile on his face. Jongho wants to be the first to ask him, but he's beaten to it by San.  
  
  


"Truth or dare, Wooyoung?" San leans back on his hands, letting his mostly naked body be on show for the whole circle, as well as anyone passing by their little game.  
  
  


Wooyoung rubs the back of his head, "Ah, I think I'll just go for truth," He says rather apprehensively, not wanting to get a dare anywhere close to San's. He would not be able to strip down, and there's no way he would chance having to drink. Wooyoung has to get something that he can actually answer.  
  
  


San sees his nervousness and how he looks over at his brother, and he decides on an easier truth, "Where was the weirdest place you've had sex?" But not _too_ easy.  
  
  


Wooyoung sighs, now looking anywhere but at Jongho, "Well, uh, I haven't... I haven't had sex."  
  
  


Seulgi hums at his answer, "Well, that's no fun at all, is it? Since you can't answer your truth, you'll have to either drink _two shots_ , or answer _two different truths._ One by the spinner and the other of your choosing."  
  
  


Wooyoung's nose scrunches up at the thought of drinking any shots, let alone two, so he decides easily, "I'll take the two truths," He mumbles, looking at Seonghwa who spun and then over at Jongho, "And I pick Jongho for my choice."  
  
  


Jongho smiles reassuringly, letting him know that he will ask something he can answer and that it won't be too bad.  
  
  


"Have you _ever_ done anything sexual, and what?" Seonghwa asks, smirking a bit as he finishes, already aware of Wooyoung's Itaewon adventures. He was surprised, however, to hear that he's still a virgin, though. It's kind of sweet when he thinks about it. Another thing that he finds interesting, however, is Wooyoung's attraction to Jongho. It's almost funny, no, it is _quite_ funny. He didn't miss Seulgi's snickering when she saw the two of them together.  
  
  


Ah, if only the poor boy knew.  
  
  


Wooyoung nods, picking at the skin around his fingers while he answers, "Yes... I've kissed and, well, done oral before... and handjobs," He says, hating how small his voice sounds coming out. He's never this closed off around people, but he can only assume it's the presence of alcohol around him.  
  
  


Seonghwa nods, satisfied with the answer, as is Seulgi.  
  
  


"Fuck yeah, you go, Woo!" San drunkenly yells over at him, lifting his drink up that he's been sipping throughout the game.  
  
  


Yunho can't help but giggle at that and Mingi joins in.  
  
  


Jongho smiles when he looks at Wooyoung, hoping to calm him back down, but he also knows that he has to start drinking soon. He wishes he could hold his hand.  
  
  


"If you had to kiss one person here, who would it be?" Jongho asks, hoping that he knows the answer from before the party, but he thinks back to when he was making out with Lee Minho and it makes his stomach turn over.  
  
  


Wooyoung's body feels at ease after Jongho's question and a soft smile comes to his face, "You, of course," He doesn't break his eye contact with Jongho, and everyone in the circle can feel the tension surrounding the two boys until loud yelling interrupts the moment.  
  
  


**"Where are my damn car keys? Did you take my fucking keys?"**   
  
  


A bunch of people's laughter fills the party as Minho goes around and angrily asks everyone until he finally huffs and walks out the back door to go into the backyard.  
  
  


Wooyoung side-eyes Jongho, who's holding back his own laughter, and from the looks on Seonghwa and Seulgi's faces when they turn to each other, he knows that they know. Wooyoung meets eyes with the two present leaders and he boasts a proud smile and a subtle pat to his jacket's pocket.  
  
  


Yunho realizes it's his turn to spin and he stumbles a bit as he gets up on his knees to spin the bottle.  
  
  


"Truth or dare, Mingi?" One of the guys that was another soccer player speaks up quickly when he sees that it lands on Mingi.  
  
  


Mingi found the dare that San had to be more thrilling than the truths that had to be answered, so he wants to try it out for himself, "Dare."  
  
  


"I had a feeling you'd say that, man," The guy chuckles, "I dare you to make out with whoever is the first person to finish their drink. Anyone care to participate?"  
  
  


The few that offer their chances up turn out to be Seulgi, Seonghwa, Jongho, San, and a girl that he didn't know well but was sure he had seen her in one of his classes before.  
  
  


"Your asses are grass," San says as his cup is the last to be filled to the brim, "Especially yours, little bro."  
  
  


"So you _want_ to make out with me?" Mingi teases him, his eyes disappearing in the smile he breaks out into.  
  
  


San holds up his hand as someone counts down from three, and San instantly turns over his cup into his own mouth, downing the liquor at an inhuman speed that most definitely can't be healthy.  
  
  


Wooyoung turns his head away when Jongho brings the cup up to his lips, knowing that he's starting his mission now. He can't help the feeling of unease washing over him, but the feeling of warmth soon envelopes one of his hands. Wooyoung looks down to see Jongho's hand squeezing onto his own and his cheeks flush.  
  
  


San gasps when he slams the cup down, "Fuck, was I first?" He pants, looking around disorientingly at the other drinkers, seeing they're defeatedly putting their drinks down, other than Jongho who finishes his before stopping.  
  
  


"Looks like it," Mingi says, chuckling under his breath at San's neediness to win. He takes a sip of his drink before his eyes widen at his half-naked friend overtaking his vision, taking a seat on his lap after he swings one of his legs over his body.  
  
  


Yunho's eyes widen as well and he scoots away from them, body bumping into Seonghwa as he's trying to get further away from his friends who, when he looks back, are already tongue-in-tongue on top of each other.  
  
  


San's legs wrap around Mingi's waist and his fingers dig through his faded red hair as he aggressively attacks Mingi's lips. Mingi lets his hands relax on San's hips, his touch careful, but his kisses are just as barbaric as San's.  
  
  


Seulgi and Joy giggle loudly, and even a few party-goers that aren't participating in the game look over at the pairing.  
  
  


"D-Doesn't Mingi have to spin?" Yunho stutters out, frozen in place between his two friends making out and Seonghwa, who he's been unable to stop thinking about. He suddenly wishes he was sitting by Jongho and Wooyoung instead.  
  
  


"Nah!" Seulgi calls out and points at Wooyoung, "You take his spin," and Wooyoung does.  
  
  


"Truth or dare, Seonghwa?" Seulgi's voice sing-songs out as soon as she sees the bottle slowing onto her 'boyfriend.'  
  
  


"You know my answer," Seonghwa breathes out, taking a drink, "Dare."  
  
  


"I dare you to whisper something dirty into Yunho's ear. Make the kid squirm," She twirls a piece of her hair in her fingers as she looks amusingly at Yunho, wanting to see his reaction.  
  
  


Seonghwa snickers darkly and leans over to Yunho, his lips brushing against his ear as his hot breath comes out, sending shivers through Yunho's entire body, "I'm going to rip off every piece of clothing on that heavenly body of yours before I have my way with you. I'm going to make you get down onto your knees and pray in a way you never have before, Angel. You're going to be begging for my touch, begging for my cock, begging for a release you know only I can give you," Seonghwa whispers lowly so only Yunho can hear his lewd words.  
  
  


Yunho's whole body heats up and he can feel a tightness developing in his trousers without warning. He's thankful for his curled up sitting position, but he can feel the sweat forming on his forehead as he takes in every single syllable that Seonghwa's slow and deep voice whispers into his ear. Every hair on his body is standing at attention, his skin burning for Seonghwa's touch just like he said.  
  
  


Yunho feels absolutely vile after Seonghwa pulls away from him, hating everyone's eyes on him as these thoughts are coursing through his brain. Yunho feels as if he's completely checked out, and doesn't realize it fully until he looks up from his daze to see the bottle now facing Seulgi's direction, and she's in the middle of kissing Joy.  
  
  


San and Mingi have since calmed down and San is looking over at Yunho through blurry eyes, noticing how mortified he looks.  
  
  


Yunho looks over at Seonghwa, and to his surprise, Seonghwa is staring right back at him.  
  
  


How long has he been looking at him?  
  
  


Yunho shifts uncomfortably, trying to get his erection to go down as soon as possible without anyone knowing, but when Seonghwa's hand caresses Yunho's back, it becomes even harder.  
  
  


_His touch._   
  
  


"Yunho?" Wooyoung asks, taking Yunho out of his daze once again, "Truth or dare?"  
  
  


Yunho rubs his eyes, "Huh- what?"  
  
  


Why is it him again?  
  
  


That bottle must hate him, Yunho decides.  
  
  


"Truth or dare," Wooyoung asks again, a soft smile on his face as he's still holding onto Jongho's hand while the boy is still consuming drink after drink.  
  
  


"Truth," Yunho spits out, not wanting to even think about the kind of dare he'd receive right now, not after _that_. And oh goodness, imagine if he chose dare and Wooyoung asked him to do something that required standing. He'd be over.  
  
  


"When was the last time you masturbated?" Wooyoung asks, laughing a bit at Yunho's flushed face, "And to who or what?" He furthers his question. He's been curious of the boy ever since hearing that he was a pastor's son.  
  
  


"I-I..." Yunho stutters and looks down at the shot glass in front of him, having already been feeling weird after the first one he had at the start of the game. He doesn't know how he'd do after another one.  
  
  


But it's looking like he's going to have to find out soon.  
  
  


Yunho takes the glass in his hands and his eyes flicker over to Seonghwa briefly before he holds it out for someone to fill, "I'll just drink..." He mumbles, becoming increasingly worried about going home tonight. His parents couldn't possibly still be up, right?  
  
  


_What time even is it?_   
  
  


Yunho watches San, seeing how out of it he is, hanging over Mingi like he's his own personal overcoat. Once his glass is full, he begrudgingly tosses it back, noticing instantly that it's not the same liquor he was served on his first shot. This time it burns and it feels just as if he's put one of those cinnamon candies from his childhood into his mouth.  
  
  


He's not feeling so good and is starting to regret coming to the party after all. It seems like all he's gotten from being here has been embarrassment and what he really wants is a glass of water and to lay down.  
  
  


Yunho looks over at Jongho, noticing how the boy is still drinking and he's confused. He's not sure if he's ever seen San's brother drink like this, but the more that he thought about it, he hasn't _ever_ seen him drink.  
  
  


Jongho feels the familiar rush of the alcohol coursing through his veins and igniting every nerve-ending in that sweet remembrance of his past. He looks at Wooyoung after he finishes the one he was just working on and he swears he's seeing double. Wooyoung is still holding onto his free hand, though, despite not liking his actions.  
  
  


He has to do it, after all.  
  
  


He knew he was likely one of the last ones to complete his mission given the timing. The deadline was next week.  
  
  


Jongho's body slumps over against Wooyoung's, unable to fully comprehend what's happening in the game or around him in general. Despite his muddled mind, he's still able to feel the worry he has for Wooyoung's feelings about this. He's holding his hand, but he could feel the unsteadiness of his hold when he took that first drink.  
  
  


The first drink...  
  
  


God, it had been so long since the last time the addicting liquid passed through Jongho's lips. He tried _so goddamn hard_ to push away the temptations when he finally got back and was once again surrounded by the very thing that caused him to go away. He was strong, for once. He hadn't given in.  
  
  


That is, until he saw the words written onto that little slip of paper that Hongjoong had given him.  
  
  


_Get wasted._   
  
  


It was something he knew well, the loss of inhibition, the way the world would slow down around him, the pure satisfaction he had of knowing he wouldn't remember anything.  
  
  


He could escape, even if just for a little while, and wasn't forced to think about real life.  
  
  


That's how it was when he had first started drinking...  
  
  


He thought he'd always stay in that euphoric state of mind because he always knew when to stop himself.  
  
  


Until he didn't.  
  
  


San was no longer around for him to talk to since he had to spend his first year at SNU on campus from his counselor's recommendation. San would always drag him to parties when Yunho refused to go to any, Jongho always offered, being the good little brother that he was.  
  
  


Ever since San had left, Jongho worried that the parties would go away -- worried that the alcohol would go away. Jongho reached out to a few of the people that commonly held the events and they were more than happy to add one more to their pool of guests. He started going every single night as his junior year of high school was coming to a close.  
  
  


He should've known things were started to escalate when even strangers at the parties were asking him if he was alright. A few people he had been locking lips with also made comments to him.  
  
  


It wasn't until the morning after the party when he had fallen asleep in bed after a fun night with someone that really set in stone that something was wrong.  
  
  


_So very wrong._   
  
  


He doesn't remember it for himself, only being told a recollection of the events from his one-night stand encounter that had to be the one to call the ambulance.  
  
  


They were still shaken up when they were telling Jongho about how they kept trying and trying to wake him up, but he just wasn't moving. How his breathing sounded so _off_ and when they laid their head to his chest they couldn't tell whether or not his heart was really beating. One of the comments Jongho couldn't get out of his head was how _cold_ he was said to be.  
  
  


Because how could he have been cold when he felt so warm?  
  
  


His mother's crying face is another thing that remains imprinted into his mind. He was looking around the room, only seeing his mother and father, no San.  
  
  


They didn't tell him.  
  
  


Just like they didn't tell San where Jongho actually was that summer when he came back home from college and Jongho wasn't there to greet him like he expected. San had felt bad about not being able to call or text as much as he thought he'd be able to, consequently leaving Jongho on read more often than not.  
  
  


"I'm sorry," Jongho whispers into the dip of Wooyoung's neck when his body is slumped against him, "I'm sorry..."  
  
  


Wooyoung looks down at Jongho, who has now stopped drinking when Seonghwa and Seulgi both gave him a nod of approval, signaling that his mission was complete.  
  
  


"L-Let's get you upstairs, okay, Jongho?" Wooyoung says softly, standing up, and when he does, Jongho's body slinks to the floor. Dazed eyes look up at Wooyoung and his own uncomfortableness is long gone, only seeing how much help Jongho needs in this moment, "Come on," He says reassuringly, putting his hands underneath Jongho's armpits to hoist him up.  
  
  


"Hey, dumbass, did you drink too much?" San slurs, watching Wooyoung attempting to let Jongho's entire body weight lean against him when he finally gets him up. San's also stopped drinking, finding himself to be the perfect amount of drunk to, hopefully, be sober enough to drive Yunho back home in a while.  
  
  


Jongho's vision starts to go in and out, the last thing he sees before passing out is Wooyoung's beautiful face laying him down on a bed. There were mumbling noises he thought could've been talking, but his intoxication takes over and he's left in Wooyoung's hands.  
  
  


"I'm going to take care of you," Wooyoung carefully strokes Jongho's head, "You're lucky I know how to," He grimaces before lying down on the bed beside him. He already had a bottle of painkillers on the bedside table for the morning and locked the door that they were staying in so there were no unwanted visitors.  
  
  


Wooyoung made sure to cover them up in plenty of blankets and placed a gentle kiss on Jongho's cheek, "Goodnight, Jongie... It'll be over in the morning, I promise."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**End of Chapter Seventeen**


	19. Chapter Eighteen

The blush on Yunho's cheeks refuses to die down as Seonghwa holds his hand tightly in his own. Seonghwa drags Yunho up the stairs where they were before the game and takes him into one of the free rooms, wanting to get him away from the loudness of the party downstairs.  
  
  


Yunho wanders around the room rather wobbly from the two measly shots he had, grazing his hand over various knick-knacks before he settles his eyes on the bed. He looks over at Seonghwa, "S-So you wanted to talk with me?" Yunho asks while he makes his way to sit on the edge of the bed, his mattress sinking in as he sets himself down.  
  
  


The spot beside him sinks down as well when Seonghwa sits next to him, willing his eyes to follow, "I was curious as to why you didn't answer either of your truths," Seonghwa smirks, studying Yunho's facial expressions.  
  
  


Yunho sighs and rubs his forehead with his thumb and index finger, "Didn't you hear? I've never been in a relationship... I haven't had a first love yet," He mumbles the ending of his sentence, knowing they're lies even as they spill out of his mouth. His hand moves to swirl pieces of his hair between his fingers.  
  
  


Seonghwa places his hand atop Yunho's, bringing it back down to sit on the bed, "Don't be nervous," He says, letting his cocky and overly-flirtatious persona drift away for a moment. He's noticed little mannerisms that Yunho seems to have when he's nervous or feeling uncomfortable and has unknowingly taken note of them. Seeing him twirling his hair is something he remembers from when he had given him his mission in the museum. His timidness is still everpresent.  
  
  


"Do you still feel that way about him?" Seonghwa asks, knowing that if Yunho was indeed still in love with San then that scene beside him just a while ago must've hurt him deeply.  
  
  


Yunho hesitates, catching himself staring into Seonghwa's near-black eyes before he shifts, looking down at his hands, "I... I don't- I don't know," He stumbles over his words, never having admitted his wavering feelings for San out loud before. Yunho's liked him for so long that he didn't think the feelings would ever go away, but recently, they have. He had just grown so accustomed to feeling some type of way about San, that he never noticed the lack of presence in his own emotions.  
  
  


The other night only proved that to him, but he still can't bring himself to truly deny his feelings for San.  
  
  


"Do you love Seulgi?" Yunho finds himself asking, being curious about their relationship ever since Seonghwa said he didn't want to go to dinner with her and their parents. It could've been the fact that their parents were going, but he wasn't sure. His question rolling out only reminded Yunho that Seonghwa _has a girlfriend._  
  
  


And he was having questionable thoughts about him.  
  
  


About a _man_ that is already _taken._  
  
  


Despite his tipsy mind, he knows that he's going to have to beg especially hard for forgiveness tonight. He needs to stop these thoughts and feelings...  
  
  


Seonghwa breathes out heavily, resting back on one of his arms, still studying Yunho, "Hm, now that's a difficult one, Angel," and it really was for Seonghwa. Because yes, he does love her, but not in the way he knows Yunho is asking, "Of course I love her. I've been with her for years and we've gone through a lot together," Seonghwa doesn't miss the uncomfortable shifting of Yunho's body and he doesn't know why, but it makes him hurry out with the last part of his statement, "But... No, I don't love her in _that_ way."  
  
  


Yunho ponders about Seonghwa's words for a moment. He doesn't love his girlfriend? Then why is he with her? This is all so confusing to him, but he doesn't get to think about it for long before Seonghwa is already asking him another question.  
  
  


"Have you ever masturbated before?" Seonghwa genuinely wonders, knowing Yunho's background with the heavy church upbringing, and he can understand if he hasn't, but it's just so interesting.  
  
  


The corner of Yunho's bottom lip slips into his mouth as he bites down onto it, grinding his teeth together slightly, "Once," He utters out eventually, being truthful.  
  
  


"Did you not like it?"  
  
  


Yunho squeezes his eyes together tightly and curls his body in on itself as he shakes his head, "That's not it- I did, I liked it," He breathes out, feeling that dirty feeling again and he nervously reaches up and clutches the small golden cross, "I shouldn't have, though," He thinks out loud, not realizing his words.  
  
  


"Why not?" Seonghwa asks, his voice gentle, "It's okay to, you know."  
  
  


"No, Seonghwa, it's not," Yunho's voice is uncharacteristically loud as he looks up at him.  
  
  


Seonghwa is surprised by Yunho's voice, seeing his shaky hand around his necklace, but he stays quiet, expecting Yunho to say more.  
  
  


"I'm not right, Seonghwa," Yunho's inner thoughts begin spilling out from his liquored-up tongue and he can't stop them, "I was already an abomination and now I'm impure. H-How is _He_ going to forgive me? How do I expect Him to forgive me after I repeatedly go against His wishes? I'm supposed to be the perfect child, the perfect son," Yunho doesn't realize he's crying until he feels Seonghwa's fingers wiping away his tears, "I've tried so hard," He sobs.  
  
  


"You are not an abomination, Yunho," Seonghwa reassures, "And _no one_ can be perfect all the time... You can't help who you like or love," Seonghwa isn't too knowledgeable on religion, but he tries, "I'm sure that God sees how hard you're trying, that you're doing your best. I think you're a... nice person," Seonghwa mumbles the last part, not having had to comfort someone in a long time.  
  
  


Seeing Yunho beating himself up like this is making Seonghwa's chest twist in a weird way he's not sure if he can get used to. The feeling only intensifies when he takes Yunho into his embrace and brings him into his chest. He's been having thoughts about Yunho a lot recently, mostly having to do with his well-being and wondering what he's up to. Isn't that normal?  
  
  


Seonghwa tightens his hold on Yunho, letting him cry it out until he eases into quiet sniffling. Feeling Yunho's warmth against his body makes him feel weird, too. That's the only way he can describe it. Weird. He hasn't had to think about being genuinely attracted to another person since he's been expected to be with Seulgi for so long. He's a flirty guy, for sure, but actually being interested isn't Seonghwa's thing.  
  
  


He likes to play, in all senses of the word. He knows he's a kind person, but sometimes his arrogance can outweigh that fact, especially with the meaningless way he teases everyone around him.  
  
  


"Th-Thank you," Yunho sniffles out against Seonghwa's neck, his voice muffled against his skin, "Thank you for l-listening to me," Yunho wipes his eyes and nose as he sits up, looking up at Seonghwa with his chocolate brown eyes shining from the tears he was just shedding, but the only thing Seonghwa can think of is how angelic he looks.  
  
  


"Anytime, beautiful" Seonghwa says coolly, not bothered at all by their close proximity, letting his flirty self surface once Yunho's calmed down.  
  
  


Yunho's suddenly thankful for his already reddened face, but he can't bring himself to think of anything else to say. He's too caught up in gazing into Seonghwa's eyes, for once not wanting to avoid eye-contact. Seonghwa is so handsome... His skin is so flawless, Yunho's mind goes wild with thoughts about how perfect Seonghwa looks. His eyes eventually trail down to Seonghwa's lips similarly to how they did earlier in the night.  
  
  


Yunho knows he's sobered up after crying like that, but these thoughts he's having about his lips on Seonghwa's makes him convince himself that the culprit of it is his drunken mind.  
  
  


Seonghwa has a girlfriend, the dark part of Yunho's brain reminds him.  
  
  


_He has a girlfriend._   
  
  


Yunho's eyes grow hooded the longer he stares, unable to take his eyes away from Seonghwa despite his damning thoughts. He believes that maybe he is actually still affected by the earlier alcohol intake when he thinks he sees Seonghwa's face getting closer to his own.  
  
  


The spark of Seonghwa's fingers on his cheekbones say otherwise. He really is getting closer. And closer.  
  
  


Yunho's breathing hitches and his eyes flutter closed when he feels Seonghwa's lips against his, feeling a comforting warmth radiating from them and his body is fully heated beneath Seonghwa's kiss -- beneath Seonghwa's touch. It's like Yunho can feel every individual hair on his face that Seonghwa's fingers pass over as their lips begin to move against one another.  
  
  


His hands move instinctually up into Seonghwa's black locks, clenching his fingers around the pieces that interlock to bring the two of them closer together. Yunho gasps loudly after a few moments, his breath hot and heavy against Seonghwa's mouth. He's never kissed _like that_ before. San had only given him a soft peck back then, but this... This was almost indecent.  
  
  


Yunho looks up at Seonghwa through his lashes, seeing the man's now dewy skin illuminated by the subtle glow of the lamp beside them. His eyes are hooded and he doesn't take his eyes off of Yunho's lips for a second before he dips his head back in and once again captures Yunho's mouth in his own.  
  
  


Yunho's grip in Seonghwa hair tightens when he feels hands wrap around his body and teasingly trail down his back. He jumps back with another heavy gasp before Seonghwa's hands can actually reach their destination, falling back onto the bed in heavy breaths.  
  
  


"I-I'm sorry," Yunho breathes out, his chest heaving, leaning back on his elbows while he tries to catch his breath, "Oh my God," He pants, but then immediately covers his mouth with his hand. He can't believe he just did that, and he can't believe he just said that. He lets himself fully lay his back against the bed and stare up at the ceiling, shocked at himself for what he just let happen.  
  
  


He just kissed someone that has a girlfriend.  
  
  


He just uttered the Lord's name in vain.  
  
  


He _liked_ kissing Seonghwa.  
  
  


_Wait, what time is it?_   
  
  


Seonghwa is digging in the bedside table when Yunho gets up from the bed, slowly pacing back and forth with his arms crossed, mumbling incoherently. Seonghwa quickly jots something down and calls out to Yunho when he sees he's heading for the door, "Hey, Angel, wait a minute," He gets up and places a paper into his palm.  
  
  


Yunho looks up at Seonghwa with worried eyes and clenches the paper, shoving it into his pants pocket, "I-I have to go, I have to go," He mumbles, fiddling with the doorknob before he closes the door right after he exits. When Seonghwa was writing something down, Yunho had seen the clock and he had to be home in less than ten minutes.  
  
  


Yunho sees San immediately upon exiting the room and his eyes are wide, "San, we need to go home."  
  
  


"I know, dumbass, I was looking _everywhere_ for you!" San says, keys in hand, and he grabs Yunho's upper arm as he pulls him down the stairs, "Do you have any idea how fast I'm going to have to go to get you home on time?" He looks back at Yunho with a smirk.  
  
  


Yunho is suddenly feeling like he should've just taken his chances with the Lord back in the bedroom with Seonghwa rather than in a recklessly-driven car with San.  
  
  


San throws himself into the driver's seat and is already starting the car up when Yunho climbs in and shuts the door. San begins driving before Yunho has even buckled his seatbelt, "San, calm down! It's okay," Yunho says, even though he knows his parents will scold him and likely ground him if he isn't home by curfew.  
  
  


They've only started driving, but looking out the window, Yunho sees they're already almost to his house. The outside scenery is blurry from how fast they're going.  
  
  


"San," Yunho says, his voice slightly worried, "Are you okay?" He asks while holding onto the door handle.  
  
  


San looks over at Yunho for a brief second, "I'm fine," but in that second, a black raven hits the windshield and San swerves. Yunho gasps loudly and San's eyes widen as he professionally straightens them back out on the road, lucky that no one else is around them.  
  
  


"H-Holy fuck," San pants when he finally turns into Yunho's driveway, putting the car in park and then resting his head on the steering wheel, "Holy shit," He breathes out, holding onto his chest, "I'm so sorry, Yun, but hey... You're here on time, right?" San's lips curl up into a smile as he shakily taps the clock in his car.  
  
  


"San, we almost died and you're more concerned about the time?" Yunho's voice raises, but he can't get many words out before having to inhale deeply.  
  
  


"But the point is that we didn't," San says, reaching over to pat down Yunho's hair, "Your hair's a mess," He mumbles.  
  
  


"Yeah, I wonder who's fault that is," Yunho growls and unbuckles himself, "Are you okay to drive home? Like really... I can sneak you up like old times," Yunho offers, but San waves his hand at him.  
  
  


"No, no, I'm fine. Just damn, what did we even hit?" San sighs back into his seat as Yunho opens the door, climbing out.  
  
  


"I don't know, San, probably a bird or something. You're so lucky your windshield isn't broken," Yunho comments, having checked it out as soon as they were in park. San's parents bought him that car under his promise that he wouldn't, San's words, 'fuck it up'.  
  
  


"I must be the luckiest person alive," San chuckles weakly, "Or you're my lucky charm," San winks at him and Yunho shakes his head, slamming the door to the Camaro.  
  
  


"I don't think I possess much luck," Yunho hums, "Goodnight, San, please text me when you get home this time. I'm serious," Yunho says, making San promise. When San first got his car, Yunho always made him promise to text him when he got back home since he was worried about his driving, but since they got older, he stopped.  
  
  


"Yeah, yeah, _mom._ "  
  
  


Yunho sighs and shakes his head again before hurrying up the walkway to his front door and opening it right on time, looking up to see his parents in pajamas. Most of the lights in the house are already turned off and his mother gets up from her seat to stand by his father.  
  
  


"Right on time," Yunho's father says, "Hmm, get your rest tonight, Son. Early morning tomorrow as I'm sure you know."  
  
  


Yunho nods curtly, "Goodnight," He says before going up the stairs, hoping they couldn't see his appearance too clearly in the dim lighting.  
  
  


"Don't forget to pray, honey," His mother calls up after him.  
  
  


"I won't, Mama."  
  
  


Yunho closes his bedroom door behind him and undresses, catching sight of his body in the mirror and he has to look away before more impure thoughts taint his mind. He puts on his pajamas and carefully kneels down on the floor beside his bed, palms pressed together.  
  
  


He starts by humming his routine nightly prayer in a soft whisper, thanking God for keeping him, his family, and his friends safe today and then he ends it with his normal wishes for Him to watch over him as he sleeps. Yunho pauses for a few moments before he begins the new part, which he's sad to say he's had to do more often now.  
  
  


"Lord, please forgive me for my sins," Yunho's eyes water from having them closed for so long, "I'm really sorry, my Lord, I really am... I-I didn't not intend to kiss that boy tonight. I beg for forgiveness for my thoughts that were less than pure. I have a question I know I've asked you before, but... I just have to ask again, God... Why did you make me like this? I know that you don't make any mistakes, but I'm just so confused. I know that I like men, but in Leviticus, it says that liking men is a sin... Please bless me with the answers, my Lord. I don't want to disappoint you like I would disappoint my parents if they knew everything I told you," Yunho's voice trails off, finally breathing out a subtle, "Amen," before he sits up, still on his knees.  
  
  


Yunho sighs sadly, letting his face fall fully into his bedspread.  
  
  


Yunho suddenly sits up again in a gasp, remembering that he never got to talk to Yeosang.  
  
  


He _really_ needs to now...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**End of Chapter Eighteen**


	20. Chapter Nineteen

San rubs his eyes as he walks into the kitchen, hearing the front door open while he sits down at the island. His mother is frying eggs and his father is looking out the window to see the early shift workers out on their extensive farmland.  
  
  


"I was hoping you'd be home soon, Jongho," Their mother says with a smile, looking back at her youngest coming into the kitchen with them, "I didn't know you would be spending the night."  
  
  


Jongho rubs the back of his neck, sitting down next to San so he can lean his elbows on the counter. He's so thankful to Wooyoung for having painkillers ready for him this morning, but he's realizing he has to come up with a lie quickly. His parents can't know that he was blackout drunk last night.  
  
  


"I was this boy's ride and he fell asleep. I didn't want to wake him, so I just slept there too," Jongho says without any hesitation in his voice, having learned to lie pretty well over the years, but he's afraid his face might give last night's events away.  
  
  


San snickers, "You sleep with him?" He teases, shoving Jongho's shoulder slightly.  
  
  


"Shut up, San," Jongho shakes his head, blush coming to his cheeks, "We didn't do anything."  
  
  


"Now, now, boys," Their mother says, plating the eggs for her three favorite men, "So the game was good, and the party was, too?"  
  
  


"It better not have been _too_ good," Their father says under his breath, but Jongho knows it was directed at him. It sends a stinging to his chest and he hates that feeling.  
  
  


Jongho was almost always a good son, especially in comparison to San, behavior-wise. The only thing he did that was bad other than _that_ was the time he had taken his father's car out and accidentally scratched the paint when he didn't calculate how close his passenger side was to a pole.  
  
  


"It was fine, father," Jongho hums.  
  
  


Once their plates are sat down in front of them and their mother also sits down with them, she speaks up with her bright tone once more, "Sannie said something about a boy," She smiles over at Jongho, "Is this a potential boyfriend?"  
  
  


Jongho's cheeks redden at his mother's question, "Ah, well... I'm hoping he will be soon," He smiles to himself, thoughts of Wooyoung flooding his aching mind.  
  
  


"That kid is waytoo hot for you, Ho," San shakes his head, "Like _way_ too hot."  
  
  


"Shut up. What about you and Mingi, huh?" Jongho teases his older brother right back, "I'm not sure I ever saw you come up for air last night."  
  
  


San scoffs, some egg flying out of his mouth since he was fork-in-mouth when Jongho said that, "He's just a friend."  
  
  


"Aren't they _all_ just friends?" Jongho narrows his eyes.  
  
  


" _Boys,_ " Their mother says rather sternly and both boys relax in their seats.  
  
  


Jongho sighs as he finishes up his food, shoving the plate away from himself, "I'm going to my room," He mumbles, "I have studying to do."  
  
  


Jongho trudges back to his room and falls back on his bed, staring up at the whirring ceiling fan as he thinks about the way Wooyoung looked when he woke up this morning to his little body next to his. His wavy blonde hair was messily slumped over his forehead, giving Jongho a perfect view of his beautifully flawless skin. Every time he sees Wooyoung's beauty mark under his right eye he thinks about placing a kiss on top of it.  
  
  


The way his eyes fluttered open to look up at Jongho. Jongho didn't realize how intensely he was staring until Wooyoung smirked at him and giggled, asking him how long he had been like that.  
  
  


_Too long, probably._   
  
  


Jongho's sweet memories grow wary when he thinks about the look that Wooyoung gave him when he looked back at him before entering his house that morning. He couldn't help but be afraid that the boy he liked was having second thoughts about him because of last night. Of course, Wooyoung knew that it was just because of Jongho's mission, but he could be thinking that Jongho drinks regularly.  
  
  


Did Jongho tell him that he didn't? He can't remember... He feels the need to justify himself to Wooyoung, though. He doesn't want him to think poorly of him.  
  
  


One day, Jongho will hopefully tell him what went down the summer before senior year, but until then, he has to at least make sure Wooyoung knows that he doesn't drink.  
  
  


Jongho doesn't want Wooyoung to be afraid of him.  
  
  


If only he knew what Wooyoung was really afraid of...  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


꘎ ♡ ━ ꘎ ━ ♡ ꘎  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


The last thing Yeosang wanted was to go to church this morning. Well, he never wants to go _any_ Sunday, but he already knows what's to come the next few weeks every service.  
  
  


Every. Single. Year.  
  
  


Their church has a special prayer for his family and has a remembrance of Eunsang for the entire month.  
  
  


Why?  
  
  


The anniversary of his older brother's death is coming up and their church actually _celebrates_ it. Okay, those are his own words, he knows it's not actually a joy-filled celebration, but the concept is the same -- at least, in his mind it is.  
  
  


They even have the special prayer at Wednesday services that his family no longer attends. He heard that from Yunho a few years back, and he didn't like the way it settled on his ears. Hearing that _his_ brother was being mourned by people that didn't even know him. They were mourning because they were told to mourn, and he hated it.  
  
  


They didn't know his pain. They didn't know the thoughts that plagued his mind every day of his life. _How dare they mourn?_  
  
  


"Yeosang, are you ready?" Yeosang's mother asked him, seeing her son standing in front of his mirror with an untied tie and solemn look. It hurts her that this is a recurring theme every Sunday.  
  
  


Yeosang looks over at her, ripping himself away from... himself, "I'm ready, Ma," he hums.  
  
  


"Come here, honey," She says in a gentle voice. Her voice is always like that, Yeosang thinks as he walks to her, "You're just so handsome," She smiles, but her eyes are so sad, "You two always did look so similar..." She whispers and has to look away from Yeosang so he doesn't see her watering eyes, but he knows.  
  
  


"Do we have to go?" Yeosang mumbles, and he's quickly answered by his father's deep voice.  
  
  


"Of course we have to go," His father shakes his head, "How dare you say such a thing? Do you have any idea what month it is, Yeosang?"  
  
  


As if this very month wasn't the reason he was asking the all too familiar question.  
  
  


Yeosang's father tsks and his eyebrows knit together tightly at his son's silence, "Get in the car."  
  
  


Yeosang concedes and walks outside to get in the car, only to be followed out by his parents a few moments later. He knows that they must've exchanged words about his behavior. They always did. They have for _years_ , even before what happened.  
  
  


He remembers how he would sit on the staircase and hear his parents talking about them, about Eunsang and him. Eunsang was the perfect child, while Yeosang was the child that they hadn't exactly planned out. His mother had gotten her tubes tied after Eunsang's birth. They only wanted one child, so it was an easy decision for the couple to have one of them get fixed.  
  
  


Until it became not such an easy decision when ten years later his mother came up pregnant with him.  
  
  


Yeosang often wondered how many times they thought about getting rid of him when they found out. He knew they must've thought about aborting him at least once, but likely more. He wonders if they're glad that they made the decision to keep him now because _at least they still have one son._  
  
  


Yeosang clenched his fists tightly, little half circles indenting into the palms of his hands as he tries to will away the horrible thoughts tormenting him. How could he think like that?  
  
  


He suddenly feels very cold and a loud sigh comes from beside him, seeing that it's his father with a stern expression holding the door open, "Let's go, don't make this more difficult for your mother."  
  
  


Yeosang knows he actually means don't make it more difficult for _him,_ but he still gets out of the car and walks inside with them. Hushed condolences are said to them all as they walk up the aisle to their pew with the Jeong's. They're early for once.  
  
  


Yunho looks up as soon as he feels a presence beside him and his eyes widen, "Yeo, I gotta talk to you," He stands up and takes Yeosang's hand, bringing him to the back of the church and into one of the rooms where children's bible study normally takes place. They tuck themselves into the room, not bothering to close the door all the way since no one should be back here this early unless they're using the restroom.  
  
  


"What's wrong, Yun?" Yeosang sees the conflicted look on his best friend's face and starts wondering if he should've found him last night to talk. He looks like he really needs to let something out.  
  
  


"I-I kissed Seonghwa last night," Yunho blurts out, "It... It was more than a kiss though, I think, it was different. We, uhm," His voice starts to get shakier the faster he speaks, stumbling over every word, "We were touching each other, Yeo. I can still feel his touch on my skin," His hushed voice is hard to keep down and he doesn't realize he's put his hands on Yeosang's shoulders in an attempt to stabilize himself.  
  
  


Yeosang's eyes widen at Yunho's confession, surprised to hear all of this coming from the purest, most innocent being he knows.  
  
  


"Doesn't Seonghwa have a-" Yeosang starts, but Yunho cuts him off quickly with a hand over the mouth.  
  
  


Yunho is shocked by his own actions and immediately drops both of his hands along with his head in shame, "I... Y-Yes, but-" He pauses himself and shakes his head, "There's no buts... Yes, he has a girlfriend, Yeo."  
  
  


Yeosang can't help the short laugh that comes out of him, but he composes himself, "I didn't know you were such a homewrecker, Yun," He teases anyway and Yunho's about to speak again when they hear a noise outside the room they're in, causing them to turn their heads to the crack in the door.  
  
  


They only get the glimpse of straight brown hair and a green dress before Yunho closes the door and falls back against it, "What am I going to do," He mumbles over and over again, his fingers lacing through his hair, "Wh-Who am I, Yeosang?"  
  
  


Yeosang looks sadly at his best friend curled in a ball on the floor and it sends a pang through his chest, "I wish I knew that answer for myself, Yun..." He says, holding out a hand to Yunho, "Come on, it's not so bad. Please don't beat yourself up about this, okay? You like him, don't you?"  
  
  


Yunho stands up and wordlessly nods, his mind now filling with worries about what that girl had heard him say. He needs to talk to find her and talk to her before she says anything to anyone.  
  
  


"I think you need to talk to him about this situation, and about what happened between you two," Yeosang suggests, but he sees Yunho slightly recoil," Or... You could act like nothing happened?"  
  
  


Yunho rubs the back of his head, "Maybe if I pretend it didn't happen, then it'll leave my mind. At least, that's what I've been hoping for all night," He sighs, "I'm so sorry, Yeosang... I'm sorry I always come to you with my problems and troublesome thoughts. How are _you?_ "  
  
  


Yeosang looks up at Yunho. How is he? _How is he?_  
  
  


"I'm pretty shit, to be honest," Yeosang laughs, "You know what month it is, you also know about my..." He sighs loudly, "relationship... Everything is just going down the shitter and I don't know."  
  
  


Yunho remembers last night when he and Seonghwa walked in on Yeosang and Hongjoong and he nods, placing a soft hand back on Yeosang's shoulder, "I'm sorry, Yeosang... But why would you hide that from me? You know I would never-"  
  
  


"I know, I know, okay?" Yeosang's voice raises, "But just because _you_ don't mind, doesn't mean _I_ don't mind, Yunho. Do you have any idea what it's like?" Yeosang's voice starts to waiver as tears come to his eyes, already damning his own words because he knows the answer, "Wh-What it's like to hate yourself? To be able to not even accept yourself?" Of course Yunho knows.  
  
  


Yunho takes Yeosang into a tight embrace, "Sangie..."  
  
  


"Do you know what it's like to not be able to get through one day without a buzz? Or be perfect like you're expected to be? B-Because god forbid I'm not Eunsang!" Yeosang cries into Yunho's shoulder.  
  
  


Yunho rubs Yeosang's back gently, humming quiet words to him of love and support. Yeosang's words make Yunho realize just how little he's opened up to him about anything going on in his life. It makes Yunho realize that he never really pushed too hard to know, and he needs to change that. He can't stand this realization of how selfish he's been.  
  
  


"Promise to please talk to me more about these things, Yeo," Yunho says when they part from their hug, "You don't have to carry all these burdens on your own. You're one of my best friends," Yunho says genuinely, "We have to talk about Hongjoong soon, okay?"  
  
  


Yeosang sniffles and nods, wiping his nose. He waves his hands in front of his eyes in an attempt to dry his face and look decent before they go back out for service.  
  
  


They should've had one of these talks a long time ago.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**End of Chapter Nineteen**


	21. Chapter Twenty

"Why, hello, pretty boy," The familiar deep voice of Casanova calls to Wooyoung as he rolls down his window to allow Wooyoung to lean in with a smirk coming to his face.

"You keep your word, don't you?" Wooyoung rests his body against the black BMW.

"Always," Nova hums and clicks the door unlocked for Wooyoung to climb in beside him, which he does in quick succession as the window rolls back up, encasing the two in the darkly tinted glass.

"Another drive, Sir?" Wooyoung asks submissively, getting comfortable in the seat before he lets his hand trail to Nova's thigh. He's wondered what the older man does for a living to live so lavishly since he doesn't dress like a normal businessman.

"I hope you don't mind," He says kindly, resting one of his hands on top of Wooyoung's while his other is gripped to the wheel as he drives them through the streets until they reach the inner-city part of Itaewon, "I'd like for you to tell me about yourself, Wooyoung."

Wooyoung's surprised to hear that Casanova actually is interested in his life, and even more surprised by the gentle way his thumb strokes over the top of his hand. It's almost like he's holding his hand back from approaching his member even further like he had planned.

"What would you like to know?" Wooyoung puts on his smoothest voice, allowing himself to relax under the man's touch. His hands feel rough and calloused and he hates that the touch reminds him of Jongho's hard-working hands. He quickly wipes those thoughts from his mind and focuses his attention back on Nova.

"You're in school I assume. What for?"

"I'd like to be a vet. I have a cat that I took in, and have always been fond of animals," Wooyoung explains, but can't help but to ask, "Are you sure you want me to continue?"

They pause at a stoplight and Casanova tilts his head over to Wooyoung with a warm smile and a squeeze of his hand, "I've grown quite fond of you, so yes, tell me more."

Wooyoung's body unusually warms up at this older man taking a genuine interest in him, but he doesn't miss the tightness of the man's pants, "You're much better than the rest," He hums when Nova chuckles a 'thank you' between Wooyoung's words, "I really enjoy doing community service, like helping in soup kitchens or volunteering at the humane society."

"Ah, a Mother Theresa type?" Nova chuckles once again, subtly moving his hand with Wooyoung's under it towards the tightness in his pants.

Wooyoung's eyes fall hooded when he feels the movement, letting it happen and not taking his eyes off of Nova for a second, "You could say that," He says breathily as he finally hovers over the familiar bulge. Wooyoung can feel his length pulsing even through the thick fabric and he squeezes it teasingly.

A groan emits from Casanova's throat and he pulls off the road, parking on beside a sidewalk that's lined with buildings.

"You're just a giver in every way, hmm?" The driver's seat leans back, allowing Wooyoung to freely move his hand around his length.

Wooyoung gets up on his knees in the passenger seat and nods, unzipping Nova's pants with sharp focus, a smile settling on Wooyoung's face when he sees Nova's cock spring up from his pants.

"Speak to me, baby," Casanova's voice seems to get even smoother and calmer if that's possible. His hand travels up Wooyoung's body and rests behind his neck, "Let me see you," he hums, willing Wooyoungms head up.

Wooyoung meets eyes with Nova immediately, both of their eyes filled with nothing but lust and desire, "I'll give you anything you want," he smiles, still moving his hand skillfully over the older man's cock.

Wooyoung doesn't expect Casanova to kiss him, but there's no protest when the man's lips press against his own. Another thing he doesn't expect is the gentleness of the kiss, and it makes him feel good — almost electrified inside that someone like him would want to actually treat him with such kindness.

"I want you to call me by my name," Nova says when their lips part, Wooyoung's hand stroking up and down on his length, making the man's words breathy.

Wooyoung is, once again, surprised. None of his clients have ever given him their real names before. Just like none of them have ever cared enough to ask anything about him.

"My name is Jaehan," he breathes hotly against Wooyoung's lips, luring him back into a kiss.

"Mmm, Jaehan?" Wooyoung smirks when their lips part again, making his voice whinier than usual.

Nov- no, _Jaehan_ , then dragged his fingers through Wooyoung's blonde locks, pulling his head back a bit. He chuckles lowly, guttural moans escaping his parted lips, "Come upstairs with me."

Wooyoung can't tell at first if it's a question, but the look on his face tells him that it's a demand — and Wooyoung can't say he's not intrigued.

_Imagine how much money he could make tonight... Jaehan already knows that he doesn't do full intercourse and he still wants him._

_Wooyoung doesn't even stop to think about the dangers of trusting someone he doesn't know._

Wooyoung's silence and slowed-down movements on Jaehan's cock force Jaehan to convince him further, "I think we can arrange a hefty payment, hmm?" The older man caresses Wooyoung's thin face between his rough fingers, the slight scratchiness of his skin gliding along the smoothness of Wooyoung's.

Those words make Wooyoung bite down on his bottom lip in a wide smile and he squeezes the base of Jaehan's member before he releases it and unbuckles his seatbelt while Jaehan is zipping his pants back up and already climbing out of the car under the flickering streetlight. When Wooyoung leaves the car, he sees the long scratch under the light, but his focus is brought back to Jaehan quickly.

Wooyoung hadn't realized they'd stopped in front of a motel, but looking up at the vacancy sign and shady-looking entrance that Jaehan leads him to with a large hand on the small of his back.

The next thing Wooyoung knows, he's atop Jaehan's lap, straddling him, on the motel bed in their room. He can feel the rock-hard length pressing on his own crotch and it makes him have to hold back groans.

"So, pretty boy," Jaehan hums, letting his hands rub up and down Wooyoung's small body, "Why don't you have sex?" He squeezes Wooyoung's ass roughly, enjoying the feeling of Wooyoung's hot breath against his neck.

Wooyoung had a feeling this question might come up, and he answers easily, "I'm a virgin," He feels Jaehan squeeze him even harder at those words and he whines, "A-And I'd rather not lose it doing these kinds of things," He grinds his body down onto Jaehan and slowly slides himself down off of his lap, backing onto the bed, "You understand, right, Sir?" Wooyoung looks up at Jaehan with innocent-looking eyes, his head inches away from the tent in his pants.

Jaehan digs his fingers through Wooyoung's hair, making Wooyoung's mouth fall open with a soft moan, "When you lose it, you better let me fuck you into oblivion," This time, it's Jaehan's turn to groan when Wooyoung pulls out his cock once again, making quick work of stroking him and lapping the precum from his tip, maintaining eye contact every second.

"We'll see... It might be happening soon," Wooyoung teases with a smirk before he takes Jaehan in his mouth fully, one of his free hands gripping onto his base with subtle strokes as his other hand is massaging his balls. He's noted that a lot of men seem to like that from the men previous to Jaehan and hopes that the pleasure could add even more dollars to his payment.

" _Fuck_ ," Jaehan groans, his grip on Wooyoung's pretty blonde hair only getting tighter as he shoves his head down, "Goddamn, you always take me so well. Look at me," And Wooyoung does as he's told, always.

Wooyoung's eyes are hooded with tears from choking, but he doesn't stop bobbing his head until he feels the familiar hot liquid start coating his throat. Jaehan pulls Wooyoung's head back roughly just as he's cumming, letting the stream end all over Wooyoung's face.

Wooyoung pants hard, his mouth agape and sticking with a mixture of Jaehan's cum and his own drool. He's sure he looks absolutely wrecked and becomes even more sure of that fact when Jaehan cups his face and smears some of the white liquid with his thumb before he slips that thumb into Wooyoung's mouth for him to suck.

"You're so fucking sexy," Jaehan mutters, also breathing hard as he comes down from his high.

Wooyoung mumbles something incoherent to the older man as he sucks on his thumb, popping it out of his mouth to sit up on the bed, "I did good, Sir?" He asks and he hates that his mind instantly goes to thoughts about getting Pita a pack of nice treats and even possibly getting Jongho a 'thank you' gift.

"So good," Jaehan brings Wooyoung up to kiss him hard, "You can go shower," he winks.

Wooyoung's lips are puffed out from all the oral stimulation and he nods, standing up from the bed to go to the bathroom without thinking twice. He can't wait to shower; he doesn't like the overly sticky feeling that's on his face and hands.

Wooyoung winces when he sees himself in the mirror and shakes his head as he strips down, not understanding how Jaehan could still find him attractive looking like _that_. He doesn't dare take a peek at his body. Wooyoung turned the shower on and, thankfully, it got hot quickly. His bare body was starting to get cold from the air, but he climbs into the warm water and washes his face off.

_Creak_

The door to the bathroom opens and Jaehan's voice rings through the sound of the running water, "I hope you don't mind if I join you," Wooyoung can feel Jaehan smiling as he speaks, but Wooyoung's nervousness begins to set in.

"Ah, oh, okay," Wooyoung says, hoping his voice doesn't come out shaky. He hears the rustling of clothing being removed and then the shower curtain moves to the side to reveal a bare Jaehan, taking in Wooyoung's body with an up and down look.

Wooyoung attempts to cover his chest with his hands, stepping back to allow Jaehan room to get in with him.

_He can see them_.

Jaehan's eyes aren't filled with lust as they were formerly, but instead, replaced with concern -- concern for the state of Wooyoung's body.

He knew that Wooyoung was thin, but he looks even skinnier now, and the paleness of his skin is evermore prevalent. That's not the concerning part, at least, not the _most_ concerning part as Jaehan looks him over in his entirety.

Deep colors of red, purple, and blue are scattered along every surface of Wooyoung's torso, arms, and legs. The bruises paired with the slashes, new and old, across his chest and forearms make his eyebrows knit together, focusing in on the ones on his forearms.

"Wooyoung-" Jaehan starts, placing his hands on his shoulders, "You're not harming yourself, are you?" He asks, sliding his hands gently down Wooyoung's arms until he's grazing the long marks that look recently scabbed over, the skin formed around the marks being bumpy and catches slightly on Jaehan's rough hands.

Wooyoung looks down at Jaehan's hands exploring his body and shakes his head, "No, no they're not from me..." To which Jaehan just nods and starts to wash Wooyoung himself, not wanting to ask further questions about the beautiful college-aged boy he sees every weekend.

Wooyoung relaxes when Jaehan stops asking questions and lets himself be pampered, easing back into Jaehan's warm, wet body.

After their shared shower, they wind up in bed together, never bothering to get dressed since all they had was the clothes they'd come there with. Wooyoung is stroking his hand up and down Jaehan's chest as he kisses him, letting Jaehan touch him all over.

"How does _₩2,000,000_ sound?" Jaehan whispers into Wooyoung's ear and Wooyoung can't stop his eyes from widening.

"T-Two million won...?" Wooyoung repeats, his voice involuntarily stuttering from the sum of money he was just offered for spending the night with this man. One night here in this motel room will almost pay for all of Wooyoung's textbooks for next semester. One night with Jaehan could keep Pita and him fed for a month.

"As long as that amount doesn't keep you from coming to Itaewon next week," Jaehan strokes his thumb down Wooyoung's face, slipping it under his chin to lift his head to him, "You'll come back, won't you?" Holding his finger and middle finger under Wooyoung's chin, he moves his thumb up to pull Wooyoung's bottom lip down only for it to pop back up.

Wooyoung looks up into Jaehan's eyes and nods slowly, "Yes, Sir, I promise. No matter what."

"Good boy," Jaehan smirks and presses his lips to Wooyoung's rather roughly, "This has been the best night I've had in a while," He admits.

Wooyoung starts wondering what Jaehan's life is like, wondering what his _family_ is like, what his _wife_ is like.

Why does he come see Wooyoung? But he knows better than to ask those questions. The first rule of being what he is, is to never ask your customer about their life outside of these acts.

"I'm glad I can help you escape from your real life," Wooyoung says against Jaehan's ear, knowing that doing these things also helps Wooyoung escape, too. His real-life has never been particularly appealing, but here recently... Wooyoung's mind drifts off to Jongho and he subconsciously smiles at the thought of the handsome farmer he's fallen so hard for.

What does Jongho do on Sunday nights, Wooyoung wonders.

Does he go to church in the mornings like Yunho and Yeosang do?

Does he spend the day with his family like he wishes that he could do? If he had a real family. If he had anything more than his father who's anything but family. If Wooyoung could choose, he would leave, but the cost of living is too extreme to still be at SNU even if he were to get a real job. To live alone, he would need two jobs, and he can't even work _one_ job while still attending classes, let alone _two_.

He's stuck... But at least he has Jongho now. The boy brings Wooyoung so much joy that he doesn't mind his miserable life as much. Having his future and Jongho now, too, to focus on, Wooyoung is feeling even more confident moving forward. Especially if he continues to see Jaehan throughout his schooling, and if Twilight is what they say it is, being a part of it is a guarantee for his life to be made. Things can only go up from here.

"Close your eyes, pretty boy," Jaehan murmurs, cutting off the lights in the small motel room. He brings Wooyoung close and doesn't stop his hands from caressing every part of Wooyoung's naked body, "I'll drop you at the train station in the morning," He licks Wooyoung's ear lobe, "Can't have you being late to any of your classes, now can I?" He snickers lowly and Wooyoung's thankful he doesn't initiate anything else considering he can feel Jaehan's cock pressed up against his lower back.

"No, Sir," Wooyoung whispers back, unsure if Jaehan can hear him, but he still keeps up his act that he knows the older man likes.

Isn't the Twilight meeting tomorrow evening...?

Wooyoung hopes that everyone has completed their missions by this point, sending a small wish into the air that all of the friends he's come to somewhat know are present at the meeting. He fears what would happen to them if they failed to complete their mission.

**End of Chapter Twenty**


	22. Chapter Twenty-One

Once all the students file out of the lecture room, San has his bag slung across his chest and is about to exit as well when he shuts the door and leans his back against it, staring over at Professor Lee who's organizing things on his desk.  
  
  


"Need some help, Professor?" San smiles, coming back over the Professor Lee's desk where he sat all class. He drops his bag back down and begins moving everything off of the desk, "I think... It looks better like this, hm?" San says seductively, lifting himself up to sit on the now-near-empty desk, "Maybe... Like this?" San unbuttons a few of the buttons on his shirt, revealing his smooth upper chest under Professor Lee's gaze.  
  
  


Professor Lee's eyes trail San's body and return to meet his eyes, seeing the deep lust that's settled within them, "Ah," He hums, getting closer to San when he opens his legs for him to slot himself between, "I think I made a good choice in my assistant," He breathes against San's ear, letting his hand travel up San's stomach and chest until he's picking at the remaining buttons, "Organized and always so _eager_ to help."  
  
  


"I've been told I'm quite the helping hand," San chuckles lowly as his hand cups Professor Lee's crotch, feeling as it grows harder and harder under his touch, "My references were impressive, weren't they? I think I can show you just how impressive they really are," He groans when Professor Lee presses his lips to his neck, right beneath his ear.  
  
  


"I'd love to see first-hand," Professor Lee's voice vibrates against San's skin, "Let's just keep this between us, right, Mr. Choi? We can't have any of this getting out, now can we?" He moves his hands down San's back and cups his ass roughly before he presses himself up against San.  
  
  


"Mhm," San mumbles, moaning when Professor Lee presses against him, removing his hand to quickly undo his belt.  
  
  


The next thing San knows is being flipped around on the desk, his bare chest now flush with the wood, his shirt hanging off of his body and his pants are down around his ankles. He feels Professor Lee's hard length against his ass and the way he holds his wrists in one of his large hands, "F-Fuck," San pants, not expecting to be manhandled like that.  
  
  


"You like that?"  
  
  


San nods and groans a 'yes' when he feels the familiarness of something entering into his body, knowing it has to be Professor Lee's length. Fuck, is this really happening?  
  
  
  
  
  


_Ring_   
  
  


_Ring_   
  
  


_Ring_   
  
  
  
  
  


San hears his ringtone start going off from his phone he'd laid on the desk beside him and he shakily reaches for it.  
  
  
  
  
  


**_Incoming call: Yunho_ **

**_Accept |_ ** **_ Decline _ **   
  
  
  
  
  


San pushes the phone away from him, "Fuck, not right now," He mumbles and gasps loudly when he suddenly becomes empty, only to be filled right back up, feeling Professor Lee's hips right up against his cheeks and he whines out loudly. Too loudly.  
  
  


Professor Lee's hand comes around his body and covers his mouth up to muffle his noises before he continuously pumps in and out of him, leaning onto San's body to press him further into the wood of the desk until Professor Lee's mouth is right on his ear, mumbling words that San can't seem to make out.  
  
  


Did he put on a condom? San wonders to himself as he's getting pounded into the desk, but he tries pushing those thoughts away.  
  
  


"You're so hot like this," San hears from behind him and he groans from the tight grip that comes onto his hips. San feels his other hand come around him to vigorously stroke his own length and San clenches his eyes closed as every time Professor Lee thrusts into him, his own hips bang up against the desk and his thoughts get jumbled through the mixture of pain and pleasure. He can't stop to think about how wrecked his body is going to be after this. He hates that.  
  
  


"F-Fuck, I'm going to-" San breathes out when Professor Lee finally uncovered his mouth, his chest moving up and down rapidly now that he can catch his breath, "D-Don't cum in me," He makes sure to say before his voice becomes nothing but a panting mess.  
  
  


"It's okay," Professor Lee's movements quicken, if that's even possible, stroking San until he feels him cum all over his hands. He grips both hands back onto San's hips and with one final push, he releases himself inside of San. Once he's done, he lifts his hands off of San and backs up, breathing heavily, "That was probably the best fuck of my life," He chuckles, zipping up his pants.  
  
  


San cringes at the feeling of the sticky liquid coating his insides, slowly peeling himself off of the wooden desk to turn around, seeing Professor Lee already decent-looking again.  
  
  


Professor Lee comes up to San and lifts his head with a finger under his chin, "Until next time?" He presses a kiss to San's lips, "God, you're mesmerizing," He mumbles as he backs away, looking at San's wrecked appearance.  
  
  


San's expression is clearly fucked-out as he looks up at him, nodding with his normal smirk, "Yeah," Is the only thing his brain can muster. Professor Lee picks up his briefcase he always brings to classes and starts walking towards the door before he turns back around once more to look at San.  
  
  


"You'll clean up for me, won't you, gorgeous?"  
  
  


San nods again and when Professor Lee finally leaves San looks down at his body and curses himself for being so submissive for the man. It's been a while since he's bottomed for someone, and he feels like he's being torn apart even still.  
  
  


"Fuck, fuck, fuck," San curses under his breath as he pulls his pants up, hating the sticky feeling that coats his lower region. He bites his lower lip and glances at the trash can by the desk as he does up his shirt, not seeing anything in it. He thought he could've been crazy, but no, there wasn't a condom in the trash can. Professor Lee did just cum inside of him.  
  
  


San runs his fingers through his messy hair and takes a slow breath in. The last time someone didn't use a condom with him, he'd gotten chlamydia and that shit was a bitch to get rid of.  
  
  


That's the reason San was so adamant about not cumming in him and why he kept wondering if he was wearing protection, right? It was his past experiences making him feel like this, right?  
  
  


San looks at his phone laying there as he reorganizes the desk and remembers Yunho's call at the start of him and Professor Lee messing around.  
  
  


_Fuck, Yunho, why were you calling?_   
  
  


San picks up his phone and his eyes widen when he sees the notification pop up.  
  
  
  
  
  


**_Missed Calls (8) Yunho_ **   
  
  
  
  
  


Eight? He only had canceled on the one... Professor Lee must've kept declining them. San quickly hits the dial-back button and slings his bag around himself again, as this time he's leaving for real.  
  
  


_Come on, Yunho, pick up._   
  
  


San's emotions feel all out of whack as he walks out of the room, locking the door behind him. He doesn't notice the tears trailing his cheeks until the automated voicemail starts reading out to him and he pulls the phone away from his face, seeing himself in the reflection of the screen.  
  
  


_Why won't you pick up?_   
  
  


San wipes his face and tries calling Yunho again, trying to figure out what would be the reason he's calling him. The Twilight meeting is tonight, maybe he needs a ride. As San continues to call with no answer, he realizes how bad he really needs to talk to him and needs for him to pick up.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


꘎ ♡ ━ ꘎ ━ ♡ ꘎  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Yunho has his phone pressed to his ear as he paces around the campus courtyard, mumbling under his breath, "San, please pick up," He sighs exasperatedly when it gets sent to voicemail once again, trying one last time, "Please," He whispers, his panic only rising.  
  
  


Yunho gasps loudly when he runs into someone, looking up to see a familiar black-haired man with flawless skin, "S-Seonghwa?" Yunho stutters out, his voice shaking from the state he's in and from seeing the last person he wants to right now.  
  
  


"Hey now, Angel, what's wrong?" Seonghwa's eyebrows furrow at Yunho's clearly distressed expression and movements, "The meeting is soon, are you nervous?"  
  
  


Yunho looks up at Seonghwa even more horrified when he mentions the meeting and shakes his head, "I-I..."  
  
  


"Have you done your mission, Yunho?" Seonghwa asks, a part in the back of his mind smirking because he knows he hasn't. The more sinister part of him always seems to show itself when he knows a Twilight meeting is coming up.  
  
  


Yunho shakes his head furiously, "No... No, I haven't," He crosses his arms and looks down at his feet, "I don't think I can do it, I don't think-"  
  
  


"You _can_ do it, Yunho," Seonghwa says, speaking to him in a more serious tone, "You _will_ do it, okay? I'm not going to let you drop out this early," His mind starts working quickly, becoming aware of everything around him as he forms a plan.  
  
  


Yunho crouches down and hugs his legs, "Seonghwa... It's n-no use," His eyes start to water and he looks up at Seonghwa, "W-Will you help me? I can't get kicked out... I can't," he mumbles, thinking about the possibilities of his secrets getting out and he's suddenly regretting going to that first meeting. He wishes everything went back to the way they were before.  
  
  


Seonghwa reaches down and takes Yunho's hand, lifting him to his feet, knowing he shouldn't be interfering with a recruit's mission, "Okay, listen closely. I'm going to help you, but we have to be quick. _Very quick._ "  
  
  


Yunho nods his head, wiping his tear-stained face as Seonghwa continues talking to him.  
  
  


"Do you even have any spray paint?"  
  
  


Yunho nods again, "I went and bought it on a break between classes last week," He says, his voice still shakier than he would like. He has been planning on how to do this for a while now, but he continuously chickened out until the last possible moment.  
  
  


Really smooth, Yunho.  
  
  


"Did you pay in cash or with a card?" Seonghwa asks when his phone vibrates, pulling it out to check while Yunho replies.  
  
  
  
  
  


**Seulgi**

_I heard that someone has a big crush on you ;)_

_Joy and I have ears everywhere. Don't lead the poor kid on, Hwa._   
  
  
  
  
  


Seonghwa narrows his eyes at the message and looks back up at Yunho.  
  
  


"I paid with cash. Why does that mat-" Yunho's sentence is cut off when Seonghwa takes his wrist and starts taking him towards the first building where the headmaster's office is.  
  
  


"Because it's good that it's untraceable, Angel," Seonghwa hums, taking Yunho around back to where the back staircases are. They slip in the door and start to go up the stairs, most of the lights in the building already being turned off since all classes are over in this wing. The sky is darkening quickly, causing their shadows to come to life on the floors as they move up each landing.  
  
  


"His office is on the top floor, right?" Yunho asks, whispering in an attempt to be sneaky as they are now on the top floor.  
  
  


Seonghwa pulls Yunho close and puts a finger up to his lips, slightly smushing them in, "That's right," He smirks and sends a wink to him before letting go of Yunho, making his way down the dark hallway.  
  
  


Yunho follows him closely, his mind still running wild and he's unable to stop rambling, "I-Is Headmaster Han still here?"  
  
  


"Shh," Seonghwa sends Yunho another look, and even in the dark, Yunho knows he wants him to shut up.  
  
  


He just can't, "Wh-What if he catches us?"  
  
  


Seonghwa stops abruptly and pushes Yunho against the wall before pressing his lips against his, shutting him up for good.  
  
  


Yunho gasps when Seonghwa's lips collide with his, but it oddly enough brings his anxieties about what they're about to do down. Yunho's body chills when Seonghwa's lips graze his ear lobe, "Mouth shut until I say so, Angel."  
  
  


Yunho just nods and pretends to zip his mouth closed, handing Seonghwa the invisible key. He smiles when he sees Seonghwas hands motion into his jeans pocket, finding it cute that he actually played along with him.  
  
  


_Mouth shut, got it._   
  
  


Seonghwa ducks into the front office that's right before the headmaster's office and he brings Yunho behind one of the desks. Yunho hears rustling and a soft angry-sounding hum coming from Seonghwa.  
  
  


_Maybe he can't see...? Ugh, Yunho, of course he can't see, it's literally dark._   
  
  


Yunho fumbles out his phone and turns on the flashlight function, pointing it towards Seonghwa's hands, hoping that doing this won't make Seonghwa scold him again. Well... If he does what he just had done, maybe he wouldn't mind too much.  
  
  


Goodness, Yunho... He starts promising himself that he will attend this Wednesday's church service. His morals are loosening and he doesn't know what's happening to his, what was once pure, mind.  
  
  


Seonghwa makes a noise in cheer and covers Yunho's flashlight immediately after holding up a key, which Yunho can only assume is to Headmaster Han's office.  
  
  


How did Seonghwa know that was there?  
  
  


Was Yunho supposed to know that, too?  
  
  


If Seonghwa wasn't here, Yunho never would've been able to get in -- unless he broke the frosted glass window on the door.  
  
  


_Click_   
  
  


Yunho looks up and sees the Headmaster's door opening and Seonghwa's shadowed figure going inside, motioning for Yunho to come with him. And he does. A lamp is still on in the office, illuminating their faces in a warm orange light when they enter and close the door behind them.  
  
  


"Are you ready?" Seonghwa's voice startles Yunho, breaking the silence they had held for what Yunho thought was way too long.  
  
  


Yunho nods, digging into his bag, "Yes, yes, I'm ready," He sputters out, his hand now holding a small spray paint can in it, and Seonghwa can see how it's shaking ever so slightly.  
  
  


A soft smile comes to Seonghwa's face as he looks at Yunho's shaking hand, letting his eyes go up to admire the puppy-like boy's face. An overwhelming feeling washes over Seonghwa and he's confused, unfamiliar with this _happiness_ that envelops his emotions.  
  
  


Seonghwa pats Headmaster Han's desk gently, "Go on, Angel."  
  
  


Yunho's body tingles at the nickname, as it always does, and he shakes the can up on his way to the desk. The tension in his body eases under Seonghwa's palm that rests on his back. Right when he's about to start spraying, he turns his head to the side to glance at Seonghwa and he can't help the smile that comes to his face, "Thank you so much..."  
  
  


Seonghwa circles his hand on Yunho's back and he kisses the back of Yunho's neck when he hears the spray start, the tensions from Yunho's body turning into a different type of tension that exists in the air now surrounding both of the boys. As soon as Yunho finishes spray painting 'CHEATER' in big bold letters across the Headmaster's desk, he turns around to face Seonghwa, his butt resting back against the desk when he sees how close Seonghwa is to him.  
  
  


Thinking about the words that he just spray-painted onto the desk, and looking back at Seonghwa makes Yunho's stomach turn uneasily. Seonghwa has a girlfriend, yet he kissed Yunho again. Looking at him now makes Yunho think that Seonghwa might even do it _again_ , and he can't believe himself for hoping that he's right.  
  
  


"I'm proud of you," Seonghwa smirks, admiring Yunho's work before his gaze rests back on Yunho's face. There's that weird feeling again... Seonghwa doesn't know if he likes this new emotion of being genuinely interested in someone, let alone actually accept the fact.  
  
  


But...  
  
  


That doesn't mean he won't act upon his desires for the boy, "So," Seonghwa breathes out, caressing Yunho's face in one of his hands while the other strokes down Yunho's arm, "Had you kissed anyone else between your first kiss with San and our kisses?"  
  
  


Yunho's lips part subconsciously as his eyes focus in on Seonghwa's while he speaks, a subtle shake of his head, "No," his voice comes out like a whisper, "No, you're the second person I've ever kissed," His heart feels like it's going a mile a minute every time he's with Seonghwa like this now.  
  
  


Seonghwa chuckles and he can't control what comes out of his mouth next, "Yeah? How about I be your last, too, then?" He closes the distance immediately upon ending his question, pressing his lips against Yunho's again. The sweet taste of him is something Seonghwa can't get enough of. Ever since the party Saturday night, Yunho has taken over his thoughts as well as his desires.  
  
  


Yunho melts into the kiss, letting his back press against the Headmaster's desk as Seonghwa's chest is flush on his own. Seonghwa's dominance makes Yunho feel small in comparison, and he can't say he doesn't like it. The lustful emotions he shoves down start to bubble up to the surface, breaking down his conservative walls.  
  
  


"S-Seonghwa," Yunho gasps but is shut up quickly when Seonghwa dives back in, Yunho falling easily back into place and moving his lips skillfully as if he's been doing this all these years.  
  
  


Yunho grips onto Seonghwa's back roughly, eliciting a low groan from Seonghwa's throat. Yunho brings Seonghwa's body as close to his own as humanly possible, his fingers still digging into Seonghwa as their kiss gets sloppier.  
  
  
  
  
  


**"I thought I heard voices coming from back here."**   
  
  
  
  
  


Both boys freeze under one another's touch when the voice of one of the staff is heard coming through the front office. Seonghwa is quick to shove them both down underneath Headmaster Han's desk, bringing the rolling chair in as close to them as they can. Yunho and Seonghwa are squished against each other while Yunho mentally prays that they don't enter the Headmaster's office. He had shut the door behind them earlier, and he's thankful for his past self's thoughtfulness.  
  
  
  
  
  


**"I don't see anyone. It looks like Mrs. Kim already went home for the day."**   
  
  


**"And Headmaster Han left early this morning due to complications with his wife."**   
  
  


**"Ah, I really hope Mrs. Han heals quickly."**   
  
  
  
  
  


The voices die down the further they get away from the two connecting offices and Yunho feels like he can finally release a breath, but not for long. Headmaster Han's wife is sick? And... He's cheating on her. The curious side of Yunho starts to wonder with who and he looks up at Seonghwa, whose body is pressed against him since they're crammed underneath this clunky desk. Seonghwa has to know who he's cheating with.  
  
  


Yunho expects Seonghwa to move from him instantly after hearing the footsteps leaving fade out, but he doesn't make any movements.  
  
  


Seonghwa can't take his eyes away from the adorably puppy-like man he's pressing into the backing of the desk and it's eating him up. He's never understood Seulgi when she described how she feels with Joy and the 'spark' that's planted itself so comfortably inside of her that it won't leave when she's around.  
  
  


Looking into these innocent honey brown eyes, Seonghwa feels that very same 'spark' that Seulgi's droned on about.  
  
  


This is what it feels like.  
  
  


He's about to do something sinful when his phone goes off once again.  
  
  
  
  
  


**Seulgi**

_Where are you? You're late._

_Weren't you the one that wanted us to meet before the actual meeting?_

_Wait... Are you with him? ;)_   
  
  
  
  
  


Seonghwa narrows his eyes at the message and shakes his head before shoving it back into his pocket and goes to get out from under the desk, but he hits his head, "Fuck," He groans, holding his head and Yunho's hands are suddenly on his.  
  
  


Yunho pulls his hands down from his head and he's confused on why he even did that, quickly dropping them again to twirl his own hair. He shifts his eyes away, "You have to go?"  
  
  


"Mm," Seonghwa hums, his head still pulsing from the pain, but he knows it'll go down soon, "I'll see you soon, alright, Angel?" He smiles and his voice sounds so perfectly airy in the silence surrounding them. Seonghwa places a gentle kiss to Yunho's cheek and the last thing Yunho sees is a wink before Seonghwa leaves out of the room.  
  
  


Yunho looks down at the desk.  
  
  


' _CHEATER_ '  
  
  


And then looks at the doorway that Seonghwa just went through.  
  
  


Yunho balls his hands in fists when he sees the time on the wall, seeing that it's almost time for the meeting. He leaves the room, too, and tries to think about anything other than what just happened.  
  
  


What _did_ just happen?  
  
  


Yunho's erratic heartbeat makes him want to try calling San one more time because he feels bad about bothering Yeosang again, especially around this time...  
  
  


San might know something, Yunho hopes, _and_ since he finally has feelings for someone that isn't _him_. He can finally talk to his childhood best friend about crushes, a topic that Yunho has always avoided in the past.  
  
  


He just has to get through this meeting first.  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**End of Chapter Twenty-One**


	23. Chapter Twenty-Two

Yeosang kicked the dirt beneath his feet, having been early for the meeting this evening. His hands are in his pockets, crumpling against the paper flyer he'd brought for his 'proof' of being at that gay bar downtown. He hears mumbling and a big sigh come from the woods and out comes the rest of the guys he's been waiting for.

"What the hell do you think they're gonna do with this shit anyway?" San throws his failed exam paper onto the ground and steps on it with the toe of his shoe so it doesn't fly away as he lights up the cancer stick of pure menthol.

Wooyoung seems pleased with himself, standing next to Jongho closer than normal friends typically would, "Probably just keep it for themselves," He twirls Lee Minho's car keys in his fingers.

Jongho chuckles, "Maybe we'll take Lee's car out for a spin," He gently places a hand on Wooyoung's shoulder, which the smaller boy leans into easily. His comment makes San speak up instantly.

"Damnnnn, you really snagged his keys?" San laughs loudly, swinging his head back with how hard he's cracked up, "You gotta give me them when this meeting is over... Finally I'd be able to give that fucker a piece of my mind."

Yunho narrows his eyes at San and shakes his head, "If you drive his car anything like how you did the other night then you're as good as dead," He mumbles, "Don't give him those keys, Woo."

Wooyoung giggles, always finding his fellow member's antics amusing, "I wasn't planning on it, don't worry."

"Your driving is _that_ bad?" Jongho asks, staring his brother down as he finishes up his cigarette, seeing him already plucking another out of the carton.

"Hardly."

"You almost killed us, San," Yunho says, "You hit a bird for crying out loud!"

"Bird, shmird... Who knows what it was," San brushes it off, blowing out a cool puff of smoke towards his best friend, "You're still lucky I got you home on time," He winks and it makes Yunho feel weird. He doesn't like this similarity between San and Seonghwa... "I'd've thought you'd be thanking me, Yun. I'm not that bad, right, Yeo?"

Yeosang raises his eyebrows at San, "Ah, well," He thinks for a second, causing the group to laugh at everyone's clear hesitation with agreeing that San is, at the very least, a decent driver.

"Yeo, really? You too?" San groans, throwing himself onto one of the logs, "I'll have you all know that I've only gotten six tickets my whole driving life!"

Yeosang holds back a laugh, "Yeah, that's two tickets a year, San."

"It could be worse."

"Could it?"

**"Are you all ready to present your proof if you have any?"**

They all were so caught up in San's driving skills, or lack thereof, that they didn't notice the three Twilight leader's presence. They turn towards the owner of the voice, Seulgi.

"I see each of you are still present from last time... I trust that you all did your missions correctly?" Seulgi hums, looking over each one of the new recruits, "Because you know what will happen if you didn't complete your tasks we assigned," She rubs her chin, enjoying the worried looks on the recruits' faces. She loves their fear, thrives on it.

Seonghwa takes a step forward, not missing the intense stare he feels on him coming from Yunho's direction, but he dismisses it, "These missions are all about building trust," He explains, walking around the group while Hongjoong is fixing up a ring of rocks with sticks in the middle of it behind him. He works fast.

"Ah, yes, trust," Seulgi echos, "Completing the mission we gave to each of you was to ensure your commitment to Twilight, so _we_ can trust you."

Seonghwa nods, one hand pushing his hair back when he finally meets Yunho's eyes with a signature wink. Can't stop his flirtatious self for even a second. He doesn't even look back at Hongjoong when he slips out a lighter from his pocket and tosses it back towards his co-leader, who catches it with ease.

"Soon, you'll learn to trust each other," Seonghwa smirks, "We will be making sure of that...'' His voice darkens, and his overall appearance grows more sinister in the dimness of the sky when Hongjoong lights the bonfire he built, the flames igniting in a roaring fashion behind Seonghwa and Seulgi.

They look absolutely horrifying, their bodies being backlit by the yellow and orange blaze.

Seonghwa and Seulgi meet each other's gaze before Hongjoong pops up between them with a mischievous smile directed right at the group of recruits. He commands attention, and he gets it easily once the words fall from his mouth, "Now, everyone strip down."

"Wh-What?" Yunho stammers, his face flushing a dark shade of pink.

"Come on," Seulgi laughs, "You don't think we're going to make you all do it alone, hm?" She snickers, stripping off her top as she speaks. No one expects her to throw her shirt into the raging inferno behind her, though.

Seonghwa removes his shirt next and the smirk is still resting happily on his face, not shy about his body, nor his obvious gaze towards Yunho, "We all have to trust one another, isn't that right?"

San hoots and yells a 'hell yeah' before stripping down to near-nothing in mere seconds, leaving the rest of them in the dust, "I feel like I've been waiting my whole life for an orgy this big! Like, fuckkkkk, is this really happening?" He tosses his cigarette butt into the fire and sighs into a calm smile.

Yunho gives San a disgusted look before he looks over uncomfortably at Yeosang, who surprisingly, is already removing his clothes. Is Yunho really the only one hesitant? No, Wooyoung is still teetering back and forth on his heels as he looks around at everyone stripping down, his eyes finding most comfort settled on Jongho. Of course.

Yunho feels hands grasp his shoulders and the honey-like voice of Seonghwa meeting his eardrums, "What's wrong, Angel? Don't trust us all? It's just a little skin."

Yunho shivers under the touch and goosebumps arise from his alluring voice, forcing him to shrink away from Seonghwa in fear of something other than his uncomfortableness getting in the way of the plans the Twilight leaders had for tonight. He makes himself think of something other than Seonghwa's glistening chest, dripping in pure sex from the heat of the fire.

Not now.

For all that is good in the world, _not now_.

"Cat got your tongue, Angel?"

Yunho doesn't realize his mouth gaping until he takes a large inhale of breath and turns away from Seonghwa once again, "Ah, no, I'm... Yeah, I'm good," He reaches up for his cross necklace and moves it from side to side on the chain for a moment before he finally gets the courage to remove his button-up.

"Burn everything you take off," Hongjoong says, in case Seulgi's actions didn't come across clearly to everyone. San and Mingi were way ahead of them though because as soon as San was down to his underwear, Mingi was right behind him, both of the friends instantly tossing their clothing into the flames.

"Now... I'll come around and check everyone that was able to bring proof while you're all still getting comfortable," Seulgi giggles and goes up to Yeosang, checking the flyer with a pleased nod before moving on to San's failed exam paper. What she was most excited for, was the sight of a still-clothed Wooyoung holding Lee Minho's car keys.

Needless to say, she was impressed. She knew he had incredible potential.

Seonghwa's lips brush against Yunho's neck in one last soft whisper, "There's your tongue, kitten. I knew it was working," He chuckles, "It was down my throat hardly an hour ago, isn't that right?" He winks and leaves Yunho shaking in his boots while he goes to Wooyoung where Seulgi is also standing.

"What are you going to do with these, anyway?" Wooyoung wonders, still not making any moves at his clothing, but he is feeling a lot less uncomfortable with Jongho's palm on the small of his back circling in slow movements.

"Wanted to give the kid a taste of just what he was messing with," Seonghwa laughs, "His family is friends of mine, so I know a lot more about him than he thinks. He's been saying some things that I don't particularly like about one of our recruits, and when you mess with one of us... You mess with all of us," Seonghwa smiles warmly at Wooyoung, "We're a family here, a quite large one, at that."

Wooyoung nods, taking everything in, but Jongho steps in with a joke to lighten the mood, mostly for Wooyoung, "So if I were to kiss Woo right now, that would be committing an incestual act? I didn't know we suddenly transported to Pohang, thought that shit only happened out there."

Wooyoung coughs out a laugh at Jongho's joke and turns towards him with a look of adoration, "I guess we're going to have to move."

Jongho nuzzles his nose into Wooyoung's hair, "Anything for you, Doll."

Seonghwa and Seulgi look at each other with raised eyebrows, both aware of parts of Jongho and Wooyoung's relationship that not even _they_ are aware of. They'll find out, soon, they're sure of it. They exchange knowing looks and Seonghwa pats Wooyoung's shoulder.

"Don't be shy," Seonghwa hums and then turns back to the fire, looking down at his own body and the way the light from the fire casts shadows between each dip between his abs. He's chiseled, he'll give himself that, and he knows his favorite Christian boy still can't tear his eyes away.

Wooyoung looks around once again and is shocked to find even Yunho down to his white briefs, so he takes a deep breath and removes his pants first. His legs aren't so bad if he's going off what he saw last time he checked the mirror, which... Isn't often... But most of the damage is done to his torso anyway.

"You can stand behind me if you need to, Doll," Jongho tries to help, "No one here is going to judge you for anything," He says, but his words fade out when Wooyoung takes his shirt off.

Bruises.

Scar marks.

Intense worry. Shit, wait, that's from him. But... Jesus Christ, where did his doll get these kinds of marks? Jongho unconsciously brushes his fingertips over Wooyoung's upper chest, leading down onto his arms, being as careful as he can be.

"Fuck, man! Did you get hit by a fucking truck?" San's voice is shocked, but who can blame him?

Wooyoung smiles and forces a laugh, "Ah, no, nothing that nice," He says, always having been better with coping through jokes. Jongho's gentle touch makes his voice waiver, though. He meets Jongho's eyes and he can see his waterline glistening, "Hey, don't worry, okay?" Wooyoung says, "I promise I'll tell you later..."

"I'm driving you home tonight," Jongho says after a moment, knowing that Wooyoung wants to drop the topic right now, but he's not going to let this get away from him for another day.

"I was hoping you would..."

"Get over here you half-naked fucks," Seulgi calls the whole group to circle around the fire, some of them still holding their clothes in their hands, "We're bonding tonight, yeah? Take a good look at everyone because these are the people that are going to be who you trust and confide in most. Likely for the rest of your lives, I might add. Once a Twilight member, always a Twilight member."

"And what happens here in our meetings and between members stays with us and _only us_. Anything and everything. We will take it to our graves, you hear me?" Hongjoong adds in, "You're safe with everyone here."

"Now, those of you still holding pieces of your clothing, please toss them into the fire. We'll be leaving this forest exactly as we stand right now, bare for all to see, free of any shame or worry."

Mingi and San smile like kids at each other, both boys already having tossed their clothing. Mingi nudges Yunho, "Yun, don't worry, man! I have some spare clothes in my car," Mingi assures, and Yunho is suddenly very thankful to have him as a friend.

Yunho nods slowly, "Thank you, Mingi," He takes a deep breath and looks down at his nice clothing, hoping that his parents don't notice the missing button-up and trousers they'd gotten him for his birthday that year. He really did like this shirt...

"Shame you have to burn those clothes, Angel," Seonghwa comments slyly, "But... I'm not too upset about your current state of dress," He smirks.

Yunho stiffens and shifts his legs uneasily, but begging for his body to stay calm when Seonghwa's sultry voice is blessing his ears is tough. He throws the clothes into the flames, not hesitating anymore, and he faces Seonghwa.

He's about to say something back to him when a finger is pressed against his lips, "Later, okay?" He says rather softly and it makes something weird happen in Yunho's chest.

Yunho nods dumbly, watching Seonghwa and Hongjoong go stand by Seulgi. He looks over at Yeosang, where Hongjoong was just standing next to him, and Yeosang actually has a smile on his face -- and... He looks sober. He _is_ sober. _This month?_

"Yeo-"

"We know that you're all thinking we're about to announce your second mission... However, that thought would be wrong. We're going to be giving you information about your third and final mission, so you'll have plenty of time to complete it by the end of the semester -- if you even make it that far, that is," Seulgi chuckles darkly.

"Don't be anxious about the second mission, though. The evening when we all get back from Fall break is the night for that. Same place, same time," Hongjoong says, making sure all of the recruits are aware of the next time they'll be meeting.

During their talk, Seonghwa went over to a tree and comes back with a messenger bag. He digs into the bag and walks around to the recruits, beginning with Yeosang, who he hands a small polaroid camera similar to the ones that were used to take their blackmail photos at the beginning of the semester, which feels like so long ago.

"We're giving you these cameras so you'll be able to provide proof for your third and final mission," Seonghwa winks when he gets to Yunho, but continues normally until they're handed out to everyone, "You'll be given a piece of paper with one of your fellow recruit's names on it. Your mission is to figure out and photograph one of their secrets."

Seulgi nods excitedly, "Because while _we_ know your secrets, the people standing around you right now likely do not."

"Yes, you're to take blackmail photos of your very own members," Hongjoong smiles, "Another way to build trust, wouldn't you say?"

The guys all look around at one another and begin to wonder who they're going to get. Yeosang thinks that this might not be too difficult if he were to get Yunho or San, but he hates that he knows exactly what he would have to photograph. If he got Yunho, especially. He doesn't like this.

"Ah, don't look so glum. These photos will stay among all of us... As long as you don't back out, that is. You know what happens then," Seulgi reminds them, "And you don't want that, right?" She keeps that big smile painted on her face, but it becomes more and more unsettling.

"Hmm, I believe that is all for tonight," Seonghwa lets out a sigh, running a hand through his hair, "Let's not forget about the meeting when we're back from Fall break, shall we?"

Hongjoong taps his fingers on his forearm, "And don't break our cameras."

San sighs, "Yeah, yeah, I'll do my best not to break it. You could've just addressed me directly."

Seulgi hands out the slips of paper to everyone and is pleased that none of them look too intensely at her appearance, but she knew they wouldn't. Expect San, maybe. She hands him his last and he winks at her. Well, she can't be surprised. She looks insanely hot and she knows it, which is why she's driving directly to Joy's after this, not bothering to even put on the spare clothes she always carries in her car. She won't be needing those.

Wooyoung holds onto Jongho's arm, having let his forehead pressed against his back most of the conversation, "Are you ready to leave, Doll?" Jongho turns and rubs a calming hand on the side of Wooyoung's head.

Wooyoung leans into the touch, forever thankful he didn't choose to wear Jongho's jacket tonight. He wouldn't have been able to bear burning the very thing that brings him so much comfort and warmth.

"I'm ready," Wooyoung meets Jongho's eyes, and he hates that he still sees the worry floating around in them.

They're in the car and Jongho's palm is caressing Wooyoung's now clothed knee as he drives slowly, "What happened to you, Woo..." He asks cautiously, wondering if it has anything to do with the anxious feeling he gets every time he drops Wooyoung off.

Wooyoung bites down on his bottom lip, shivering even though the heat is on and Jongho's clothes are heavy on his body, "I..." He sighs, unsure if he should tell him tonight or not, "I promised later, but," He looks over at him, even though he knows he won't look back, "Can right now not be 'later'?"

Jongho tries to keep his breathing steady, but the images of his precious doll's cut and bruised skin won't leave his mind, "Just- Just promise me that you're safe," He doesn't notice his hand on Wooyoung's knee is shaking until Wooyoung places one of his hands atop it, freezing it in place under his own warmth, "And I want you to know, Wooyoung," Woo's heart pounds at his use of his full name, anticipating his words, "You're always welcome at my house... When we get back, I'm giving you my number, okay? I know you don't have a phone, but," He mumbles a curse under his breath, "There has to be a payphone near your house, right? If anything ever goes wrong... Do not hesitate to call me, okay? I care about you, Wooyoung."

Wooyoung's eyes fill with tears, but he doesn't allow them to fall. He knew the damage on his body looked bad, but he's always been able to handle the aftermath of his father himself. The fact that Jongho cares so deeply for him that he's saying he would drop everything if he ever desperately needed him makes his heart ache. He wants to kiss him right now.

"Th-Thank you, Jongho," Wooyoung sniffles and wipes at his eyes, "I will tell you, I don't break my promises..."

"I trust you, Doll. Don't pressure yourself, you can tell me when you're ready," Jongho slows his car into park, finally getting back to Wooyoung's house, "Hey, now..." He sees Wooyoung's bleary-eyed look and he takes his face into his hands with as much care as he can manage, "Do you know how much I like you?" He whispers against Wooyoung's face, pressing his forehead to his.

Wooyoung sniffles and hums, "I-I like you so much, Jongho," He gets lost in Jongho's eyes and slowly leans into him, giving his lips to Jongho. Jongho kisses him back with a tenderness he's never been given, and he doesn't want to let go of this moment.

They part and Jongho grabs a piece of paper and a pen, scribbling down his phone number onto it, "If anything happens, call... If you ever just want to see me, call... Even if you just want to talk, call," Jongho points at a payphone station just down the road, "It's not so far away, right?"

Wooyoung nods with a soft smile on his face, "I promise you I'll call, Jongho."

"Ah, I miss when you'd call me Jongie," Jongho teases and it makes Wooyoung giggle.

"Jongie~" Wooyoung gives him another peck and he's about to get out of the car when Jongho brings him back in and kisses him long and harder this time, setting his entire body on fire with that one kiss. Those strong arms are going to give him a heart attack one day

"You're so perfect, my Doll," Jongho smiles against Wooyoung's lips, "Everything about you, I adore."

Wooyoung's body reacts to his words instantly, pulling him into him over the center console, "B-Be my boyfriend," He says, meaning for it to come out like a question, but it's more like a demand when the words spill. Did he even mean to say that? Wooyoung's heart is racing, feeling high on Jongho's lips and presence.

He's never had a real boyfriend before.

Jongho's eyes widen ever so slightly, but they soon squint back into his eye-smile, showing his gums that Wooyoung admires so much, "I'd want nothing more."

Nothing can ruin this moment, Wooyoung thinks.

He wishes to bask in this moment here with Jongho for the rest of his life.

Maybe he can.

Maybe happiness is really on the horizon for him.

Or... maybe not.

**End of Chapter Twenty-Two**


	24. Chapter Twenty-Three

Mingi and Yunho watch as San climbs in through Yunho's window that night. Yunho had explained to Mingi that his parents don't particularly like San, so he wouldn't be able to enter through the front door like he had. Mingi made a good impression on Yunho's parents, and they were thankful that Yunho was finally making some new friends. By that, Yunho knew they meant friends that weren't San.

San falls back on Yunho's bed, Mingi at his side while he hangs upside down off the bed, "I've been waiting for fall break since the start of the semester," San groans, "But shit, that failed exam really tanked my overall grade... I know I said if I made perfect grades after that, it'd be fine, but," He rubs his hands over his face roughly, the skin turning red from the blood rushing to it, "I didn't do so well on this test we had just before break."

Mingi pats San's leg and Yunho sits crisscrossed on the floor in front of his two friends, "Is your grade going to be okay, San?" Yunho asks with worry, knowing that his best friend has always been smart, "What happened with the last test?"

Mingi chimes in, "Yeah, didn't you tell me you were studying hard for that one?"

San sits up abruptly, turning to sit normally with them, his voice strained, "I was, I was... Fuck," He sighs and puts his face into his hands once again, "I don't know what happened," He says, but he knows that he's lying. He got drunk the night before and the test had gotten moved to that day and he was beyond hungover.

"Just do your best the rest of the time, Sannie. Maybe you could ask Professor Yang if they do extra credit? I can always help too, you know... I have him too," Yunho points out.

San waves a hand at him, telling him to drop it, "Anyway, aside from that bull -- I have so much to talk to you guys about," He says, and Yunho is a little confused by the uneasy look on San's face.

What's wrong with him? He hasn't seen San like this in a good while.

Yunho nods, though, "I have, uhm, something I need to talk about too," He needs to tell San and Mingi about Seonghwa. Now that Yunho finally likes someone that _isn't_ San, he can actually talk to his best friend about a crush. A crush that San will think is Yunho's first real one.

Mingi smiles at the both of them, showing his willingness to listen. He's also excited because after they leave Yunho's, he and San planned to hang out together.

San groans out another curse, laying back onto the bed so he can stare up at the ceiling and not at his friends as he says what he's about to say, "I slept with Professor Lee the other day."

Silence surrounds the boys as they wait for San to continue. Mingi and Yunho's chest both clench, though. Mingi is disappointed about the reveal, but he can't say he's surprised. He knew what he saw that one day between the two.

"Fucking fuck, I'm going to sound so fucking stupid," He rambles, closing his eyes, "Have you ever wanted to sleep with someone so badly, but when it actually happens, you don't really want it anymore? Like you kinda regret it?"

More silence as Mingi and Yunho look at each other, knowing San's question is rhetoric. They both get this uneasy feeling in their stomachs as San continues. It's never been very easy for Yunho to listen about San's hook-up stories, but even now, as he's accepting his diminishing feelings for his best friend, his words are still making him uncomfortable and concerned.

Mingi looks increasingly worried, "What do you mean, San?" He asks, breaking the deafening silence they created.

"I'm so goddamn confused," San runs a hand through his hair, gripping it rather tightly, "I don't think I was into it fully, you know? He was so aggressive, and at first, I was like 'fuck, am I really going to bottom for him?' but then I don't think he put on a condom, and-" He word vomits all over the place it seems, putting more and more uncertainty into each word. He hates how weak he sounds, "He was so fucking hot and I was feeling really good, yeah? It's been so long since I bottomed, so it's probably that dumbass submissive headspace that got to me. I don't know. I was into it at the start, but-"

Yunho and Mingi are both sitting there, wide-eyed, listening to San's story of uncertainty with open ears.

"Then that fucker came inside me," San says angrily, "I don't let _anyone_ cum in me. Not since that guy I let top me didn't use a condom and gave me something."

Yunho remembers that. He remembers San calling him with the most fear that he's ever heard in his voice one night, explaining to him that he thinks something is wrong. He begged Yunho to go to the doctor with him, and Yunho agreed easily. He snuck out that night to go with San, being so worried about him since he'd never seen him in such a vulnerable state.

"Holy shit," San sits up and looks at his friends, "You guys don't think I got something again, right...? He's gotta be clean, yeah? And-" He rubs his forehead, "I don't know, he's probably clean. Don't worry too much, guys."

_Don't worry?_

San's gotta be joking, right?

"San-" Yunho starts, but Mingi starts talking at the same time.

"San, did you tell him not to cum in you?" Mingi asks, not accusatory, but genuinely needing to know if he did.

San nods wordlessly, and Yunho speaks up again, "D-Did you know if he put a condom on or not?" To which San shakes his head.

"No... I didn't look. I'm so stupid... I need to be more fucking careful," San whines, bringing his knees up to his chest, "Thanks for uh... Listening, you know? I just started thinking too much about everything after we fucked. I don't really want to talk about it anymore, it's not the first time something like this has happened, Min. I know Yunho knows that, but since we haven't been friends for as long, you don't. If things go wrong with me, it's not such a big deal, I promise. Just post-sex regrets, yeah?"

"San, I don't know if you should keep being his assistant," Yunho says warily, but San shakes his head quickly.

"I'm not going to just stop being his assistant because of one time," San says, leaning back on the bed more casually now, his normal demeanor returning, "You've seen the guy, right? He's so hot," He says, but it seems to only be to reassure himself.

As Yunho continues to keep trying to talk to San, Mingi just stares at San, knowing that the situation he described wasn't right and that San deserves better. He loves his daring personality, but things like this... He seemed way too unsure about the encounter with his Professor, and it makes Mingi sick to his stomach. How can he be so casual about this? Is _he_ the one taking it too hard? He hasn't had to deal with something like this before.

Maybe Mingi can bring it up again when they're out. They've been hanging out a lot more recently, and Mingi can't complain. He loves San's company, and since he pulled his name for the third Twilight mission, he's been able to gather more information about him. He doesn't like that he has to think about those kinds of malicious thoughts when with San, but what else is he supposed to do?

They didn't worry much about their drunken makeout session at the party, but they've been more affectionate after that. San is quite clingy that Mingi's seen. While at Yunho's, Mingi hasn't been touchy with San, though. He had an inkling that Yunho had liked their San, or maybe they'd just been friends for so long it seemed like that to him.

"Yun, stopppp," San groans, "It's okay, seriously, stop over-analyzing and worrying about me. I'm sitting right here, am I not? Didn't you say you needed to talk about something, too?"

Yunho narrows his eyes and settles back down onto the floor. He did want to talk to them about Seonghwa, but he wanted to sort everything out with San before then.

"Come on, don't pussy out now," San says, easily brushing off Professor Lee from his mind as he focuses on Yunho.

"I..." Yunho sighs, taking a moment to find the words he wants to say exactly, "I know I've uhm, never said anything before, but..." He starts twirling a little piece of his hair, growing ever more nervous as he thinks about revealing his feelings for Seonghwa to San and Mingi.

Mingi and San's eyes are now glued to Yunho, anticipating every word that comes out of his mouth.

"I have a crush on someone," Yunho finally says, but he's afraid to look up to see the reaction.

Mingi is shocked, his eyes widening as his mind runs wild thinking that Yunho might confess his feelings for San. He looks over at San, and he seems to be just as shocked. San's palms start to get sweaty, rubbing them together in an attempt to wipe away the anxiety that's coating his skin.

Mingi starts wondering if San thinks that Yunho might confess to him as well. He's confided in him before about his suspicions over the years, but San's always brought it up in a more joking sense. Those things San told him has made Mingi hyper-aware of Yunho's actions towards San, though. He thought back to when he first met them this semester and in his head, he definitely thought Yunho had a crush on San.

There's a weird air surrounding them now, and no one knows what to do about it as they wait for Yunho to say something -- _anything_ else.

Yunho's quiet for a while before he blurts out, "I have a crush on Seonghwa," at the same time as San speaks up, "I don't like you like that, Yunho."

Awkward... 

**End of Chapter Twenty-Three**


	25. Chapter Twenty-Four

Yeosang remains lying face down in his bed as he hears the front door close  
and lock behind his parents, signaling they've finally left for work.  
  
  


Eunsang would've gone down to the kitchen and ate breakfast with them, even when he was on Fall break like Yeosang is now. Eunsang would wake Yeosang up, still, and insist he join in on breakfast. Even ten years ago, Yeosang never was much of a breakfast person - it made his stomach sick - but he'd go down for Eunsang.  
  
  


His elder brother's demeanor did that to people, made them fall in love with him and do anything for his approval. Needless to say, Eunsang was far from the loner type -- in fact, he was rather popular at SNU during the two years he'd been enrolled. His only two years, of course...  
  
  


Yeosang tries to uncurl his body and roll over, only to still lie there staring up at his ceiling that was littered with glow-in-the-dark stars he'd put up with Eunsang. He never took them down. Eunsang had the same ones on the ceiling in his room, but Yeosang knows that their dad was probably the one that helped him put them up.  
  
  


The stars were something that Eunsang often talked about, saying how each one of them held different paths for our lives. He would talk about how meaningful wishing upon one of them is, how the star wished upon would stick by you. Yeosang remembers asking him 'what if you pick the wrong star?' and Eunsang's reply stuck with him way more than any star had.  
  
  
  
  
  


_"There isn't a wrong star, Yeo-Yeo. The stars hold much more power than we may think, aligning to create a beautiful life for each one of us. I have a particular star that I wished upon, and not once has it led me wrong. Some things that we may consider 'wrong' aren't all that sinister. There's a reason for everything, little bro. All the 'wrong' things that happen in the world happen for a reason, and we can't dwell on the pain that those things could bring. We have to look ahead and keep moving. It's what the stars would want because in the end, we all become one of them."_   
  
  
  
  
  


Yeosang knows that Eunsang was likely saying all of those things to try and help him think happier thoughts in a time of sadness, for their grandfather had just passed, but lying here in bed ten years later... Yeosang wonders if Eunsang was simply manifesting his own future... Or lack thereof.  
  
  
  
  
  


" _Yeo-Yeo, get up, you can't miss breakfast!"_  
  
  
  
  
  


Yeosang shoots up in his bed, his eyes hazy and blurred from concentrating so heavily on the ceiling. He looks around, but Eunsang is nowhere to be seen. The air doesn't have the scent of eggs and bacon being cooked from downstairs.  
  
  


The house is completely empty.  
  
  


Yeosang looks down at his hands, seeing how terribly they're shaking, so he clenches his fists and makes another attempt to get up from bed.  
  
  


How long has he been laying there...?  
  
  


_10:45 AM_   
  
  


His parents left for work nearly three hours ago. Where did all the time go?  
  
  


Yeosang can't get the thoughts of Eunsang to stop coursing through his mind. He hates this time of year. He hates this month. _He hates Fall break_.  
  
  


Just as he can't control his thoughts, he can't seem to control his feet either because Yeosang is now standing right outside Eunsang's bedroom door, hand on door handle, and before he knew it, there he was, staring into the time capsule that was his brother's bedroom.  
  
  


It's the same as always, the same as it is every year he goes into it, the same it's been for _ten years_. His parents never touched it, wanting to leave it exactly as Eunsang had.  
  
  


They thought it to be a good idea, but Yeosang knows that it only brought him harm. Yeosang wasn't able to cope with Eunsang's death when every day after school, he'd run to open the room that remained the same, conjuring up this unrealistic hope that one day he'd come home and Eunsang would be on his bed building one of his robot figures.  
  
  


Pieces of one still lay on the bed, so young Yeosang attempted to finish the build Eunsang was working on. He'd still been in Eunsang's room when his parents came home to find their deceased son's room wide open. They found Yeosang with a broken figure in his hands, piecing it together the best he could without an instructional manual.  
  
  


Until it was snatched from his hands in the tear-filled rage of his father, only to be smashed against the wall.  
  
  
  
  
  


_"Why are you in here? Get out! GET OUT!"_   
  
  
  
  
  


Yeosang is now sitting on the bed, staring towards the open door, just like back then.  
  
  


Why is he in here...?  
  
  


Yeosang gets up from Eunsang's bed, enough dust flying in the air around him to make him sick for weeks, but he doesn't make movements to leave. He wasn't going to be forced to leave this time.  
  
  


Yeosang brings himself to come in here every year, finding something bittersweet about seeing how Eunsang lived when he was alive. They're the same age now, even if his age is preserved in death. In the previous years when he'd come in here around the anniversary, he'd be crying or drunk or angry...  
  
  


Now, he's just curious as to who his brother really was. He always seen him as the perfect older brother, just as his parents had seen him. Yeosang walked over to Eunsang's bookshelves, thumbing through the dust-covered figures and down to the various books and journals that sit there.  
  
  


He pulls out a deep burgundy journal he remembers Eunsang receiving as a gift upon his acceptance into SNU to jot down his thoughts into. Their grandmother thought it was a nice gift to get him. Yeosang looks at it front and back wondering if he actually used it, and once he opens to the first page he sees that _yes, he did._  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_September 12th, Age 22_

_I guess grandma expected me to use this for writing school notes when she gave this to me, but I had this idea that it would be cool for me to write stuff happening to me at school instead. That way, when I'm old and gray, I have something to look back on my college days with!_

_I probably should've started writing in this thing last year... But I kind of forgot about it. Yeo-Yeo is the one that reminded me of it. The kid was climbing on my shelf trying to get down one of my most precious Gundams, and a bunch of books and journals fell out. Last year was pretty boring, anyway. This year, though!! It's going to be incredible! I made a lot of friends last year and am already ahead in my studies, so this year and the years to come are going to be the exciting ones. I just know it._

_Mina from my Calculus class started talking to me this semester. She's so beautiful, I'd love to work up the courage to ask her out. We were assigned to be partners for this project, and she's just so ~~damn~~ smart. I need to tell Xiaojun and Mark about her or else I'm going to spill all my thoughts here. Some of which shouldn't be kept in written format, probably. Did I mention that she loves to tease me? She can't get over the fact that I never learned how to swim. Every time I walk into class now, she brings it up, calling me all sorts of names. I can't help but smile, though._   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_September 19th, Age 22_

_Mina is already taken, it turns out. Yeo-Yeo won't stop asking me why I'm sad and I can't tell him because why would my 12-year-old little brother know anything about liking girls. He better not yet, at least._

_Mark told me that she's been seeing this Minhee guy since freshman year. He doesn't seem like a bad guy, I just hope he's treating her right. A gorgeous and smart girl like Mina deserves the world. We're still hanging out, and just wow... Her eyes... She must think I'm a complete idiot. I need to stop using a pen in this thing._   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_September 21st, Age 22_

_I got this freaky letter today... It had information about my parents and Yeo, and even my grandparents. I don't know what to do about it. It had secrets that I've kept hidden for YEARS in it. How in the hell did someone find out about me and Xiaojun setting fire to Mrs. Kim's car back in grade school? No one else was there or around to see other than the two of us._

_At the end of the letter, it said it was some invitation to join an elite club at SNU called Twilight, but I'm really scared. If they have all of this information about me and my family, they could know other things too. Things that aren't even in this stupid letter, invitation, whatever it is! I haven't told anyone about receiving it just like it said not to... There's a meeting tonight for some sort of 'initiation' process, but I'm supposed to take Yeo-Yeo to his tee-ball practice._

_What freaked me out most was the little note at the bottom saying to fake sickness to my parents to get out of taking Yeo. He hated that they knew even his little brother's schedule. They better not ever touch or hurt him._

_I think I have to go._   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_September 22nd, Age 22_

_I went to the meeting last night, and Mina was there. One of the other 'recruits' as we were called, was that Minhee guy. He had the craziest look on his face after coming back from his blackmail photo, and it rubbed me the wrong way. Xiaojun was there, too, though. We were so shocked to see each other, and more shocked that we were able to keep this from each other. We were always the type of friends to tell each other everything, even the embarrassing shit._

_Mina looked so scared and Minhee wasn't even trying to calm her down. It made me livid. I tried to help her when Minhee left, and she seemed to chill out. Her skin was so cold that I gave her my jacket, not caring if Minhee saw. He was letting his girlfriend freeze and that's not cool. I might be overstepping, but I felt something when I was around Mina. We may never be together, but I can still be a good friend to her. I accept that._

_I didn't get to see Mina again last night, though. After Nayeon (one of the leaders we were introduced to) brought me and Xiaojun far into the woods together. She had one of these big cameras and I couldn't tell if she was video taping or taking photos, but she told us to set fire to the forest together._

_This morning, I woke up to the news talking nonstop about the forest fire that happened last night and how they were thankfully able to put it out quickly. A fire department had been in close proximity to where Xiao and I lit it up, and as soon as a few of the larger trees started to smoke, sirens were wailing._

_We got out of there so fast, and I managed to get back into bed by the time mom and dad said goodnight to me. I feel so guilty... ~~I don't know if I can stay in this club.~~_   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_October 3rd, Age 22_

_Nayeon gave me my first mission and I'm not so sure about it... Mina asked me what mine was when we were working on our project, but I was nervous to tell her. They want me to confess my feelings for Mina in the courtyard in front of everyone. I usually don't get embarrassed over things like this, but I just don't want to lose her as a friend. Minhee has been giving me weird looks and I haven't even done it yet. It's like he knows._

_Mina was teasing me about not telling her, all I said was that she will know soon. God, I'm an idiot. She said her mission was to just go to some park at a certain time and date. She was so lucky with hers._

_Xiaojun said I had nothing to worry about because Mina is so chill, but I just don't know. Xiao was really freaking out about his and, yeah, I'm glad I'm not him right now. Xiaojun has to slash one of our professor's tires, so he definitely has it the worst._   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_October 5th, Age 22_

_So... Mina's mission was way worse than we thought it was. She caught her dad cheating with some other woman at the park she was sent to. She told me how afraid she was and how Minhee had to come pick her up since she didn't think she had the strength to drive home and tell her mother what she'd seen. She'd missed class yesterday, but our project is nearly finished at this point. I told her not to worry because she has enough to worry about right now and the last thing I want is for her to be even more overwhelmed._

_I don't know how I'm going to confess to her in the courtyard after this... ~~What am I going to do?~~ I can't not do it. If any of the information that Twilight knows about me gets out, it'll ruin me and I just can't let Yeo-Yeo grow up thinking that his older brother is a loser. If that information got out, SNU would probably revoke my scholarships._

~~_I'm so sorry, Mina._ ~~   
  
  
  
  
  


_October 10th, Age 22_

_I waited as long as I could. It was the day of the meeting and I still hadn't done it, but after we presented our project, I asked for her to meet me in the courtyard when her next class ended. She still looked so broken. She hasn't been speaking as much, and Mark told me that her and Minhee have been fighting._

_There was never going to be a perfect moment, I suppose, ~~but god did I fuck up.~~ I should've never confessed. She actually looked a bit happy when she arrived to me in the courtyard that afternoon, but when I began my mission, that smile faded away. It was all my fault for doing this to her, to Mina. She ran away crying. She was crying. And it was because of me._

_Fuck, now I'm getting tears all over this paper. It's messing up the pen ink..._

_She didn't look at me during the meeting, either. I think I've lost her as a friend and that fact is absolutely destroying my heart. I can't help but worry about the added stress that I caused her. She has so many better things to worry about._

_I can only thank God for Fall break coming up... Apparently we're having a mission in the middle of it, and I wish I could just drop out and not go. We're meeting in that same forest for some kind of hunt or something. I don't know. I wasn't exactly paying the most attention at the last meeting._   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_October 23rd, Age 22_

_I haven't written in here in a while, but I'm going to the Twilight meeting tonight. Xiaojun keeps telling me I'm beating myself up over this too much, but after Minhee punching me at that party, I think I'm being perfectly justified. And yes, I deserved the punch. What kind of guy confesses in front of an entire courtyard to a girl that's not only taken, but a girl that just figured out information that is breaking up her parent's marriage? My dumbass. I tried to explain to her that it was my mission and that I was sorry, but I don't know._

_Minhee told me to stay away from Mina countless times over the last week and a half. I don't even know if they're dating anymore, to be honest. The only thing keeping me afloat is Yeo-Yeo and mom and dad, but that's the good thing about family. They always stick by you and support you. I wish Mina's family wasn't having it so rough right now because I don't know how she's surviving this. She's such a strong person._

_I'm sitting at Yeo-Yeo's first tee-ball game of the season as I'm writing this. I promised him I'd be here until the end of his game even though immediately after, I have to go to the forest. I don't think he's over me not taking him to practice that one day, little brat. He's doing so good, and he just got a home run! His coach looks so proud, but I know he can't be looking any more proud than I must look._

_I'll try to keep up writing in here. Hopefully my motivation will return to me._   
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


Yeosang's hands are trembling as he reads the last words that his brother probably ever wrote.  
  
  


What happened to Eunsang that night...? Yeosang remembers him being at his tee-ball game, and how he dropped him back at home. Yeosang was getting ready for bed when he heard Eunsang talking to his parents about going back out that evening with Xiaojun. He was sitting on the stairs, looking through the newels of the staircase out at his brother leaving for the last time.  
  
  


He never returned home like he promised. Yeosang hadn't gone to sleep that night, and neither had their parents. Now, Yeosang can only assume that it was their familial bond telling them that something was wrong. His parents had told each other that he probably ended up staying the night at Xiaojun's. It wasn't uncommon.  
  
  


What was uncommon was when Eunsang didn't show up the next day, either.  
  
  


Their parents called Xiaojun's parents, who were confused, which made my parents confused as well when they explained that Eunsang was never at their home last night or that morning. Yeosang could hear the frantic voice of his mother on the phone, and her asking if Xiaojun had seen Eunsang.  
  
  


Yeosang remembers walking into the kitchen that morning to the smell of -- nothing. There was no breakfast. There were only worried and hushed voices, his father sitting at the island in silence, waiting for his mother's relay of information.  
  
  


Yeosang remembers how his mother told him they were all going to go for a drive, and Yeosang climbed into the backseat of the car on his usual side. He remembers asking about Eunsang.  
  
  


He remembers the police car that passed them on the way down their street and how the car pulled into _their_ driveway. He remembers his father hitting the breaks and sitting idle in the middle of the street with all of them in the car.  
  
  


He remembers the moment they were finally told that Eunsang's body had been found on the edge of the Han River.  
  
  


The last thing Yeosang can force himself to remember about that day is his mother's hysterical screaming through her sobs, the way she completely broke down, crying out how that's impossible. Impossible because Eunsang didn't even know how to swim, there was no way he would've been in the Han River.  
  
  


Yeosang dials a number quickly, sniffing away his tears from all of the memories bubbling back up.  
  
  


"H-Hongjoong... I think I found something. I-I need your help. Can you please come..."  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  


**End of Chapter Twenty-Four**


End file.
